2 Days in (48 Hours)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by FrankLapidas 
Would you prefer to be called Boozer, ZAB, or Zab?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Evening all,
So I have reached the end of day twenty two. It was another down in the dumps day, but I think I may have latched onto something here. Business first, as usual.
Physically, my headache did come and visit with me - the whole blasted day. No amount of headache powders would take this unwelcome guest away. It did eventually bugger off this evening. I am feeling a little tired. I didn't get to my exercise. The handshakes are gone. The cheek numbness is also out this evening - time to lock the doors so it can't get back in. I was famished the whole day.
Mentally, not much of a challenge. I spent most of the day driving around to get building supplies and what not. Still playing online chess, which is a plus. Still reading voraciously. I am starting to realize that the emotional and mental aspects of our being are intertwined. I will have to put some thought into how to articulate this.
Emotionally, well it started off well, but by this evening I was an emotional basket case again. I feel happy with what I am doing around the house, it is sort of spoiling myself, but then I get depressed and sad when I think about my wife. I am not sure how to approach this situation. It is like walking through a blasted minefield.
So yet again I managed to bugger up the H in HALT. Although I have been famished the whole day, I did not eat until this evening. As the day wore on, the more the darkness set in. Once I had dinner though, and copious amounts of chocolate for desert, I calmed down and am now at ease again. I am wondering if blood sugar levels might have something to do with our emotional mood swings. I am going to turn myself into a lab rat and see what regular meals will do for these swings. As I said earlier, I might have latched onto something here.
So other than driving around getting building supplies and junk, I did something off the cuff today. I went and saw the fireplace people. They are coming in tomorrow to install a brand spanking new fireplace in the master bedroom. God how I love a fireplace, especially as we are going into autumn now. The builders are almost done. All the crete is removed. The wall is bricked up and plastered on one side. They need to plaster the other side tomorrow and to remove all the building rubble and clean up. I am so chuffed with the space in my kitchen. Instead of only getting the washing machine in under the counter, I can now put in a dishwasher and the tumble drier too.
The next thing to tackle is the blasted garden. The garden services are here on Friday and for once are going to earn their fee. They will have to redo the garden beds, pull out some of the rubbish that is there, replant some new stuff, re-grass the lawn. The list is endless. I am not actually sure what I am going to do with the house when I am done. Maybe I'll rent it out and get a new place. A few paper issues to be sorted first.
Well the cats have eventually crawled out from under the bed. They don't like the builders or the noise, so the poor brats have spent the past few days cowering under the bed. Stressful for them I am sure. At least they are lovable. There is utter rubbish on the television at the moment. Had to wait a bit for Ramsey's kitchen nightmares. I really love the cooking shows and cannot wait for all the renovations to be done so I can actually get to use my kitchen again.
Be safe and be strong,
Cheers,
ZAB
So I have reached the end of day twenty two. It was another down in the dumps day, but I think I may have latched onto something here. Business first, as usual.
Physically, my headache did come and visit with me - the whole blasted day. No amount of headache powders would take this unwelcome guest away. It did eventually bugger off this evening. I am feeling a little tired. I didn't get to my exercise. The handshakes are gone. The cheek numbness is also out this evening - time to lock the doors so it can't get back in. I was famished the whole day.
Mentally, not much of a challenge. I spent most of the day driving around to get building supplies and what not. Still playing online chess, which is a plus. Still reading voraciously. I am starting to realize that the emotional and mental aspects of our being are intertwined. I will have to put some thought into how to articulate this.
Emotionally, well it started off well, but by this evening I was an emotional basket case again. I feel happy with what I am doing around the house, it is sort of spoiling myself, but then I get depressed and sad when I think about my wife. I am not sure how to approach this situation. It is like walking through a blasted minefield.
So yet again I managed to bugger up the H in HALT. Although I have been famished the whole day, I did not eat until this evening. As the day wore on, the more the darkness set in. Once I had dinner though, and copious amounts of chocolate for desert, I calmed down and am now at ease again. I am wondering if blood sugar levels might have something to do with our emotional mood swings. I am going to turn myself into a lab rat and see what regular meals will do for these swings. As I said earlier, I might have latched onto something here.
So other than driving around getting building supplies and junk, I did something off the cuff today. I went and saw the fireplace people. They are coming in tomorrow to install a brand spanking new fireplace in the master bedroom. God how I love a fireplace, especially as we are going into autumn now. The builders are almost done. All the crete is removed. The wall is bricked up and plastered on one side. They need to plaster the other side tomorrow and to remove all the building rubble and clean up. I am so chuffed with the space in my kitchen. Instead of only getting the washing machine in under the counter, I can now put in a dishwasher and the tumble drier too.
The next thing to tackle is the blasted garden. The garden services are here on Friday and for once are going to earn their fee. They will have to redo the garden beds, pull out some of the rubbish that is there, replant some new stuff, re-grass the lawn. The list is endless. I am not actually sure what I am going to do with the house when I am done. Maybe I'll rent it out and get a new place. A few paper issues to be sorted first.
Well the cats have eventually crawled out from under the bed. They don't like the builders or the noise, so the poor brats have spent the past few days cowering under the bed. Stressful for them I am sure. At least they are lovable. There is utter rubbish on the television at the moment. Had to wait a bit for Ramsey's kitchen nightmares. I really love the cooking shows and cannot wait for all the renovations to be done so I can actually get to use my kitchen again.
Be safe and be strong,
Cheers,
ZAB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Morning all,
Well well well. So It is the morning of day twenty three for me. In nine days it will be a month. Sort of daunting and scary if I have to put it into a time frame. So let's leave that well alone and just concentrate on today. Business first.
Physically I am great. Slept like a baby last night. Sleep comes easy even with the emotional demons riding my back. Sleep is uninterrupted and deep. I woke with the alarm clock again which is a bonus. I am not sure if I am dreaming or not as I cannot recall anything in the morning. I do not suffer as much from fatigue anymore, and I seem to have a lot of physical energy, even late into the afternoons and evenings. Dexterity has also improved dramatically. Eye and hand coordination is good too. Hand shakes are gone, so I am not going to mention this again. Cheek numbness is still there, but ever so faint. Appetite is good too.
Mentally, I am sharp and focussed. Not much else to add to this other than playing online chess and reading voraciously.
Emotionally I am stable this morning. I think by just riding it through, that it gets sort of stable on its own eventually. I still stand by my conviction of living the future through the lessons of the past as my atonement. If there is anyone out there that I have offended, hurt, pissed off, what ever, in my past - I am sorry. Really I am, but I am not going to carry on moping about it. Whether you forgive me or not, doesn't bother me and is really your problem now. I have made a few stuff ups in my past, but hey, so have lots of sober people. I am really not going to carry that cross around anymore. After all, I do not walk on water, I **** and I bleed when cut. Only human. If this doesn't fit it with any recognized recovery step/program, so be it. I am analytical and will not just accept beating myself up over some **** I caused. Besides, half the chicks I pissed off in my past would love to put a bullet or ten in me.
So no, I am not going to make a list and go find people and beg for forgiveness. After all the past is behind us. We only have now, this moment as it were, and the future. I am not knocking any program or guide that advocates this at all. I am fixing me now, the only way I know how, through logic and analytical thought. This does not mean that I have not made peace with the **** I have caused. Slowly but surely as I heal I am making peace, but on my terms and conditions. It is the only way to make sure that it is really resolved. Writing some list of crap and burning it is symbolic. This means absolutely nothing to me as it does not mean I have really done anything or got rid of anything.
Well the builders are here. Time to re-route some plugs and lights. Then the final plastering. Can't wait for the fireplace people. Still have to ask my geneticist buddy about the biological and physiological aspects of withdrawal. Especially with regards to the headaches. If you have questions in this regards, fire away and I will pass them on.
Be safe and be strong,
Cheers,
ZAB
Well well well. So It is the morning of day twenty three for me. In nine days it will be a month. Sort of daunting and scary if I have to put it into a time frame. So let's leave that well alone and just concentrate on today. Business first.
Physically I am great. Slept like a baby last night. Sleep comes easy even with the emotional demons riding my back. Sleep is uninterrupted and deep. I woke with the alarm clock again which is a bonus. I am not sure if I am dreaming or not as I cannot recall anything in the morning. I do not suffer as much from fatigue anymore, and I seem to have a lot of physical energy, even late into the afternoons and evenings. Dexterity has also improved dramatically. Eye and hand coordination is good too. Hand shakes are gone, so I am not going to mention this again. Cheek numbness is still there, but ever so faint. Appetite is good too.
Mentally, I am sharp and focussed. Not much else to add to this other than playing online chess and reading voraciously.
Emotionally I am stable this morning. I think by just riding it through, that it gets sort of stable on its own eventually. I still stand by my conviction of living the future through the lessons of the past as my atonement. If there is anyone out there that I have offended, hurt, pissed off, what ever, in my past - I am sorry. Really I am, but I am not going to carry on moping about it. Whether you forgive me or not, doesn't bother me and is really your problem now. I have made a few stuff ups in my past, but hey, so have lots of sober people. I am really not going to carry that cross around anymore. After all, I do not walk on water, I **** and I bleed when cut. Only human. If this doesn't fit it with any recognized recovery step/program, so be it. I am analytical and will not just accept beating myself up over some **** I caused. Besides, half the chicks I pissed off in my past would love to put a bullet or ten in me.
So no, I am not going to make a list and go find people and beg for forgiveness. After all the past is behind us. We only have now, this moment as it were, and the future. I am not knocking any program or guide that advocates this at all. I am fixing me now, the only way I know how, through logic and analytical thought. This does not mean that I have not made peace with the **** I have caused. Slowly but surely as I heal I am making peace, but on my terms and conditions. It is the only way to make sure that it is really resolved. Writing some list of crap and burning it is symbolic. This means absolutely nothing to me as it does not mean I have really done anything or got rid of anything. Well the builders are here. Time to re-route some plugs and lights. Then the final plastering. Can't wait for the fireplace people. Still have to ask my geneticist buddy about the biological and physiological aspects of withdrawal. Especially with regards to the headaches. If you have questions in this regards, fire away and I will pass them on.
Be safe and be strong,
Cheers,
ZAB
Chances
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Gosford, NSW
Posts: 110
You're actually doing great. Your positive attitude is awesome.
I went through that fatigue as well (most people do). It lasts between 3 to 4 weeks and there isn't a magic cure. I actually had it so bad that I thought I had developed a serious health problem.
What worked for me was sugar drinks - coke. I never really drunk it prior but had 2 cans on average during the day and 2 at night helped. Other people eat sugar foods like chocolate and cake. Ultimately your body is going through a repair stage and not drinking means you have deleted a massive sugar hit (alcohol) from your diet.
Your positivity is inspiring. Thanks
I went through that fatigue as well (most people do). It lasts between 3 to 4 weeks and there isn't a magic cure. I actually had it so bad that I thought I had developed a serious health problem.
What worked for me was sugar drinks - coke. I never really drunk it prior but had 2 cans on average during the day and 2 at night helped. Other people eat sugar foods like chocolate and cake. Ultimately your body is going through a repair stage and not drinking means you have deleted a massive sugar hit (alcohol) from your diet.
Your positivity is inspiring. Thanks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by ChancesAh
You're actually doing great. Your positive attitude is awesome. I went through that fatigue as well (most people do). It lasts between 3 to 4 weeks and there isn't a magic cure. I actually had it so bad that I thought I had developed a serious health problem. What worked for me was sugar drinks - coke. I never really drunk it prior but had 2 cans on average during the day and 2 at night helped. Other people eat sugar foods like chocolate and cake. Ultimately your body is going through a repair stage and not drinking means you have deleted a massive sugar hit (alcohol) from your diet. Your positivity is inspiring. Thanks
The fatigue was ok, the insomnia was the worst for me. That and the headaches. I stopped soda type drinks when I stopped the booze, so that wasn't really something I thought of. I was never really a big sweet person until I stopped. You might onto something there with the sugar hit. I used to have blood sugar all over the place when I was drinking, but then again, I hardly ate.
My pleasure man. If it helps anyone as much as it has helped me, then it has served a purpose.
Cheers,
ZAB
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Originally Posted by ZaBoozer
So the idea of a detox has to be buried and the grief of never drinking again mourned. With the mourning of never drinking again, the celebration of sobriety, life, clear thinking and self determination.
PS: your are a brilliant writer, have you ever thought of writing a book?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Cauliflower
Zab, I am catching up on your thread today and I am really proud of you! You said this on your day 8 and it rings so true to me today, on my own day 8. Your quote is now in my journal! PS: your are a brilliant writer, have you ever thought of writing a book?
I am not sure about the writing thing. Someone I know for a very long time said something similar to me recently. I am afraid that there might be too many skelingtons (Terry Pratchett?) in that closet. I think that the book would really boring - lots of bed hopping, bad hangovers, big **** ups, controversy and drama. Mind you, that would make for good sitcom TV I reckon. I would probably have to wait until all the women in the stories were either dead or senile otherwise the law suits could get out of hand.
Ta again
ZAB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Cauliflower
It already sounds like a page turner! Just start with a disclaimer -any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental! Haha!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 900
Originally Posted by ZaBoozer
I would probably have to wait until all the women in the stories were either dead or senile.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by FrankLapidas
I'm guessing they were already senile when you "befriended" them. What other explanation could there be?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,228
Originally Posted by ChancesAh
You're actually doing great. Your positive attitude is awesome...Your positivity is inspiring. Thanks
You really deserve to relish your success as a one-month reward. Look how far you have come. You are unrecognizable from the person who wrote the first post of this thread. Thanks again for regularly sharing your experience. It is inspirational and a wonderful way to start/end the day.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
It took me all morning to read your thread, and I loved every word. You are an inspiration.
"So what is the next goal? How many more days? When can I have a little test to see if I can control it? I don't know the answers to these questions. I do know that I cannot control it now. So for now I cannot have that first drink. Will I ever be able to control it? I don't know. As long as I don't know, I cannot have that first drink. " - Zab, day 21
This struck home to me too! I will always remember that as long as I don't know I cannot have that first drink.
I have been monitoring my w/d symptoms this time around, and it's pretty amazing how quickly the body recovers. The last time I quit (in February I think) I never even noticed of the symptoms. Either because I never had w/d symptoms before and just felt them this time around due to the ridiculous amounts of alcohol I was drinking, or the fact that I didn't take my quitting seriously back then. Who knows? I feel way better today after sleeping like a baby all night for the first time in forever!
"So what is the next goal? How many more days? When can I have a little test to see if I can control it? I don't know the answers to these questions. I do know that I cannot control it now. So for now I cannot have that first drink. Will I ever be able to control it? I don't know. As long as I don't know, I cannot have that first drink. " - Zab, day 21
This struck home to me too! I will always remember that as long as I don't know I cannot have that first drink.
I have been monitoring my w/d symptoms this time around, and it's pretty amazing how quickly the body recovers. The last time I quit (in February I think) I never even noticed of the symptoms. Either because I never had w/d symptoms before and just felt them this time around due to the ridiculous amounts of alcohol I was drinking, or the fact that I didn't take my quitting seriously back then. Who knows? I feel way better today after sleeping like a baby all night for the first time in forever!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Pouncer
You really deserve to relish your success as a one-month reward. Look how far you have come. You are unrecognizable from the person who wrote the first post of this thread. Thanks again for regularly sharing your experience. It is inspirational and a wonderful way to start/end the day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Cauliflower
It took me all morning to read your thread, and I loved every word. You are an inspiration. "So what is the next goal? How many more days? When can I have a little test to see if I can control it? I don't know the answers to these questions. I do know that I cannot control it now. So for now I cannot have that first drink. Will I ever be able to control it? I don't know. As long as I don't know, I cannot have that first drink. " - Zab, day 21 This struck home to me too! I will always remember that as long as I don't know I cannot have that first drink. I have been monitoring my w/d symptoms this time around, and it's pretty amazing how quickly the body recovers. The last time I quit (in February I think) I never even noticed of the symptoms. Either because I never had w/d symptoms before and just felt them this time around due to the ridiculous amounts of alcohol I was drinking, or the fact that I didn't take my quitting seriously back then. Who knows? I feel way better today after sleeping like a baby all night for the first time in forever!
I will have to come up with some good ones then. I have heard that every time that we relapse, the withdrawal gets worse. I trust my geneticist buddy who told me this. I have never been through this before, because I have never tried to stop drinking before. I am sure of this though - the heavier the drinker, or the longer the binge, the worse it is going to be. Sleep, what a blessing in disguise. Keep checking in, I am giving to get a helluva lot more controversial as I go on.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
