misscostalot

I've had a pretty horrible day as I decided to tell a few people about how lonely I've been feeling and how I want to quit drinking for good.
All I got was sarcastic remarks and how I should 'man up' and go with them to the pub.
I am now at home and just feel utterly miserable. It's like admitting how I feel is just a big joke. to people.
Ironically, I'm so tempted to drink. :-(

Mrrryah1

Not so ironic. Our AV will jump on anything to twist as an excuse to drink. I getcha.

How else can we explain drinking to forget what we did when we drank the night before?

Why tell people though? Sc*** what they think anyways. Just show them by your actions.

When I was seriously about quitting I didn't go around boasting it, I just did it. When I wanted to be serious but wasn't, I would tell everyone I was quitting and never go through with it.

doggonecarl

Who are these "people" you told? Drinking buddies?

What was the response you expected? Or would have liked?

misscostalot

It was actually a few close friends I told. I am hardly in a position to boast as I'm only sober 5 days sadly Bad move saying anything I know!
Too right about the AV. Thanks for the reminder. 😊

Soberwolf

Hello Miss i had to drop a lot of ppl out of my life when i got sober ppl that just didnt care about me

I have only told my closet friends & family & gf i am alcoholic oh & my Dr

Im really sorry these ppl spoke the way they did

Dont drink you always have us we can help you through it heres some links stay close to Sr when you feel like this

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

misscostalot

No, two close friends. I told them as we were meeting tonight and I suggested we go to a cafe as opposed to a bar. I was feeling very vulnerable and figured they could help me along the way. I know now its down to me to do it.

misscostalot

Thank you so much!!

Anna

It is up to you to make it happen. I didn't tell anyone when I stopped drinking because I knew I wasn't strong enough at that time to withstand any remarks. Do what you know is the right thing to do.

doggonecarl

I can sympathize with the vulnerable feeling. Five days is early in recovery. The thing about support, especially from our friends and family, we sometimes expect too much. If they are "normies" they just don't understand our problem. If they are drinkers, well...they don't understand our desire to not drink.

If they are good friends, as you say, you will probably will be able to get them to do sober activities with you. Just plan ahead.

Good luck.

misscostalot

Thank you for your support. 'm probably just a bit vulnerable at the moment and shouldn't take everything to heart.

SoberRunner

I'm sorry they responded that way but from personal experience, these people are not your true friends. Associates? Maybe. (Former) drinking buddies? Probably.

One thing I know for sure is when you stop drinking, most of the people you drank with will disappear, unless you usually hung out doing other activities. I've also learned to never call those who only contact me to drink, party, etc. a friend; they're not true friends. (It's similar to co-workers... You may be friendly at work but if you switched jobs, how many would keep in contact with you? One...maybe?)

So, forget what they think and let them enjoy their trips to the pub. Do not evny them--just worry about focusing on your sobriety. Just think: this as a test to stick with being sober, and if you give in--when you try sobriety again--the same test will re-appear in a different form so you might as well "pass the test" now. Just speaking from experience...

Hang in there!

thomas11

Hi miss, 5 days is great, and I think most of us can relate to your situation. Peer pressure is tough to deal with. Be strong in your resolve and keep moving forward. In time your friends will understand that your sobriety is something you are serious about.

You may have to keep those friends at arms length for awhile.

itstiime

I have a lot of friends so you think. You can't do the same thing and expect different results. I found that drinking is the biggest thing we have in common. Go to your family they love you no matter what!

dwtbd

Great decision to quit, 5 days is awesome and early, so hang in there, the first fews days -week can be really wonky emotionally.
You could show that AV a thing or two, maybe hit a movie?(I prefer movies alone, no one interrupting), or even a stroll to the cafe for a bite? Show that thing that going out and about is possible to do without the pub stop. Or maybe some good fiction at home, either way something to help keep your mind off , well you know.
wish you well and keep on truckin

misscostalot

Thank you. I've decided to stay home, cook and watched some 'guilty pleasure' tv. :-)
Unusually I don't have the energy to go to the gym but I guess I'm just a bit stressed at the moment.
Thanks for your advice.

aasharon90

I had to learn that no one will understand
my addiction and my recovery more than
me and those living a recovery program.

I have had folks that give their own opinions
and its definitely belongs to them. Folks that
have no addiction and don't have the knowledge
of this illness.

I own my addiction and I own my own recovery
for me, myself and I. I listened, learned, absorbed,
and applied a program of recovery, the knowledge
of addiction to all areas of my life in order to become
healthy, happy and honest.

In owning my recovery then I became and
have become responsible in my life and recovery.

I don't have to answer to no one else but
myself and the Man upstairs, imo.

It allows me to remain sober each day
for a number of one days at a time.

This is your life. Your addiction.
And will be your recovery for you.

Dee74

I'm glad you're making healthy choices misscostalot

have you seen the Cravings help link?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

D

Dee74

system burp.

D