VirileAgitur

Hello SR,

I have a been an addict/alcoholic for a long time.

I'll jump right in to this. My girlfriend just got prescribed pain medication. Opiates were my drug of choice when I was using. She says she has headaches and migraines sometimes and her doctor decided to give her pain medicine. I get really upset hearing about this. I hate seeing her high. I hate that I have tried so hard to get away from this stuff.

What do I do? How do I not get upset? How do I stop thinking that she can handle it a better way than with drugs?

Please.

Thank you.

GracieLou

She is not you and you are not her. While you may be a couple you are not the same person.

Some people can drink and take prescribed medications with no issues. I can take medications with no issues but I can’t drink like a normal person, I am an alcoholic.

We do not need to project our issues on to someone else just like we can’t expect people that don’t have issues with alcohol or drugs to understand us.

In the end, it is really none of your business. Keep doing what you are doing for you and let your GF stay on her side of the street when it comes to her own personal decisions.

MrLofg0029

Fact: Unless you have a medical background, you really don't know what you're talking about. That realization should help you to stop thinking that she can handle it without drugs. You could also try to feel compassion for what she's experiencing.

Opiates and other analgesic pain killers are miracles of medical science. Unlike you, and I, most people can take these medications as prescribed, without issue.

If you're worried about pilfering her medication, ask that she keep it on her person, or keep it somewhere where you will not find it. You could also ask that, if possible, she not take it in front of you.

I don't think it's reasonable for you to dictate her medical care for your own benefit.

DrunkenDonuts

The pills are like alcohol. They're all around us and you just gotta face facts you can't have them.

I doubt very much that she's taking the pills to get high. Just to relieve her pain.

So treat them like alcohol and stay away.

doggonecarl

Are they a temptation? Does your gf need to keep them locked up?

VirileAgitur

Most of you completely missed what I said entirely. Its not a temptation for me. Its more of my problem and I understand that. I'm trying to figure out how I can stop feeling the way I feel.

Nevermind...

tomsteve

Are you a recovering addict/ alcoholic?
Does she have a problem with addiction / alcoholism?
How to stop thinking she can handle it better than with drugs?
Maybe accept you don't know that for fact? Maybe the meds will help her?

How do you not get upset?
Look at the real reason it bothers you.
So, why does it honestly bother you?
How do you know shes high?

Anna

If your girlfriend gets migraines and her dr prescribed something for the pain, I doubt she is trying to get high.

It seems like you don't want her to have the medication?

FeelingGreat

Try detaching VA. What was poison to you is prescribed medication to her.

MrLofg0029

I left my mind reading helmet at home. Sorry.

Here's a simple solution

"Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept my life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

From page 417, Alcoholics Anonymous

VirileAgitur

My main problem is just the way I feel about it. I'm just scared that she might one day try to take one just for fun or something. I also hate seeing her high. Thats the worst part. It kills me inside. I feel like everything I say or do is just worthless because only some will be remembered.

Thanks for that passage MrLofg0029.

Ruby2

I think I know what you are getting at. While you may not be tempted, it's still close to home in a way there were it a stranger, wouldn't affect you.

I'm strictly an alcoholic. Sober over a year. Husband is also an alcoholic/addict. Currently relapsed. He doesn't drink at home but I can smell it on him. It upsets me. It's a dangerous upset because I'm thinking it's unfair that he's drinking and I can't. And won't. I've had to ignore him and focus on me. Only on me. To focus on him and what he's doing is too dangerous.

Ruby2

You can't know what she will do. Projecting her potential or possible future actions will just make you crazy. It sounds like it's your fear that she will do what You've done. And you can't do it. All you can do is voice your concerns, once, and let go. Hard, but sounds like you need to for your own well being.

ScottFromWI

Your fear is understandable, i feel the same way when I see people getting drunk or doing other things around me that I know were a problem for me.

But what you need to do is look at this situation at face value. A doctor has prescribed a medication to help her with a medical need. And all drugs have side effects, the trade off is whether or not the help she gets from the drugs is more valuable than said effects.

The potential for her to abuse the drug exists just as it does for anyone, but that's something that is not under your control. Most likely she is not an addict, we are the minority by a long shot actually.

So how do you stop feeling this way? Perhaps offer some support and compassion that she is getting relief from a painful situation. Accept and trust the fact that she is making a decision to better her physical self based on a doctor's recommendation.

Dee74

I'm glad to see you again VA

Like GracieLou said, you are not her and she is not you. It's important to remember that.

In my case, *millions* of people drink alcohol with no problem.

I went through an early phase where I projected my own fears onto the people I cared about the most.
Nothing bad happened to them, apart from my over protectiveness

I've also taken opiates for my own pain needs. I resisted for years because drugs = bad in my mind...
but I was such a bear with the pain my wife was getting ready to leave.

so I took the damn pills. I didn't get addicted. I've found a long term solution that involves exercise and other stuff.

If your gf has a short term script to handle this problem, I feel pretty confident she'll be ok, VA.

D