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Advice for urges

Old 04-07-2015, 01:15 PM
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Advice for urges

I don't have any urges now, but I know they will come with a vengeance this weekend. Any advice on how to cope with the urges. I have no alcohol in the house but always get weak and go buy some. I want to stop so bad!!!! My problem also is I drink alone and no one knows I have this problem, I feel so shameful and it makes me depressed! Any help is much appreciated! 😄
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Old 04-07-2015, 01:19 PM
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They are just that...urges. They can't make you walk to the store to by something to drink, can't lift it to your mouth, can't make you swallow. You might think they do, but that's putting the blame where it doesn't belong. You make the decision to drink.

You can also make the decision not to drink.

When those urges come, distract yourself. They pass. But the sure fire way to make them unbearable is to surrender to them. Then your AV (addictive voice) knows how to get you to weaken your resolve.
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Old 04-07-2015, 01:25 PM
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Our Sticky has lots of good ideas. Check out the Cravings and Urge Surfing sections:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
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Old 04-07-2015, 01:30 PM
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Well, I drank alone too. I'm betting people suspect that there might be something up. What type of support network, sobriety related or not, do you have?

I found it best in the beginning to make plans not involving alcohol and staying busy. Small things. Clean out a closet. Meet a friend for coffee or lunch. Make sure you eat and are well rested.

When I started on SR I discovered a weekend support thread. People with long and short term sobriety chronicling what they were doing, how they were feeling. I jumped on and stay active on it and got to know people on SR in a very supportive way. I suddenly felt accountable. I also saw people can have full, fun lives without alcohol. The thread starts Thursday mornings if you are interested. It gets silly, you can laugh a little.

How are you on AA meetings? You can always attend an AA meeting or two or three if you need face to face support.

Above all, don't go buy alcohol. If you know it's your pattern you can break it. If you get an urge ask yourself if you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired (H.A.L.T.) and address that first. If you do and you still have urges, ride it out. It can be unpleasant at first but gets easier with practice. It beats the alternative of another wasted weekend. Hang in there. Those are things that worked for me but someone else will be along who may have different suggestions.
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Old 04-07-2015, 01:30 PM
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Hi Emily i think Anna's link will really help

Hang in there were all here for you
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Old 04-07-2015, 01:32 PM
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Thanks everyone! I hope and pray I can stay strong. Ruby2, how do I find that thread?
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Old 04-07-2015, 01:45 PM
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H.A.L.T. was big for me. It accounted for a majority of my strong urges in the early weeks of sobriety. If you are able to review each of those 4 issues each time you get an urge, you will be able to deal with many of the urges more easily.

Also, recognize that the urges will come. No matter what you do. You just gotta bear down and ride them out. One by one. With each urge you survive, you will grow a little bit stronger.

The good news is that all urges pass eventually. And, over time, the urges will occur less and less frequently.

Good luck. I hope you will post often and let us know how you are doing.
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Old 04-07-2015, 01:53 PM
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At the height of my alcoholism, I did the vast majority of my drinking at home alone. No one to answer to. given the opportunity to lock myself away from the world and drink all weekend made it an easy choice.

Make some plans with someone else. Get out if the house. Don't give yourself the opportunity to sit and drink alone.
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Old 04-07-2015, 03:12 PM
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Thanks for the support!!
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Old 04-07-2015, 04:04 PM
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The weekender thread is posted in newcomers to recovery every thursday by our good friend Weasel

Glad your here Emily
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Old 04-07-2015, 04:08 PM
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chocolate helped....ALOT of chocolate
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Old 04-07-2015, 04:26 PM
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Emily, I do (did) a lot of my drinking alone too. Today is day 2 for me and my husband is out. I don't have an urge today, but I will soon, I'm sure. Thanks for starting this thread. It has good advice that I'm going to take.

You can do it!
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Old 04-07-2015, 04:34 PM
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I'm on my fourth day sober, and i'm starting to get the urges, and the thoughts are popping up like 'hey, maybe i can have just a drink or two.'. The last few days i was so solid in the fact that i never want to drink again.
I'm kind of disappointed in myself, but i've been told it's normal.
I just don't have to drink today
And i'm determined to go to bed sober!
What helps is playing the tape forward. One drink and a guaranteed blackout!!
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Old 04-07-2015, 05:08 PM
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This works quite well for me:http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
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