Leaving SR for a while...
 

Hello all,

Yesterday I posted something about "not being happy" and near the end of the day I got a response that made me take a long hard look at my recovery plan.

One thing I realized is that I need to focus on reading my 12-step material, doing my steps, going to meetings, counseling, church, exercise, face to face support etc. rather than posting here. It seems that some people are possibly annoyed by some of my posts or my "repeated patterns of posting" etc etc. and suggested that something needs to change. (Not in those exact words, just the way I took it)

As much as I like to help others on SR and try to offer advice, support and hope, it's time to put the "oxygen mask" on myself for a while.

I'm not angry, I just really thought about it and realized that I DO need to change something. I will step away from SR for a while and focus on continuing to go to AT LEAST 1 AA meeting per day and work my 12 steps with my sponsor. After all, that's what worked from 2008-2013 so why change it? The answers for me lie in the 12 steps. There is truly something magical about them that I can't explain. It was when I stopped working them that I relapsed in 2013. :-(

Thanks for all your support, love and wonderful advice these past several months and I will check in once I have a few months of sobriety.

"Nothing changes if nothing changes."

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results"

Love you all! Never give up!!! I pray for all of you daily.

Good luck, Serenidad. Please check back with us and let us know how it's going. When you are feeling more secure in your recovery, I look forward to seeing your contributions to the forum.

I find that the Lord works in mysterious ways and also speaks through others. I have times I hear someone tell me something I should do. Then hear it again...and again...then BAM!!!
OK, God, I get it.
Follow that plan and ALL of the promises in the BB will happen.

I pray you find what you are looking for. Looking forward to hearing updates on how you are doing. I wish you the best in all you do. You will be missed.

You need to do what is best for you and your recovery. I wish you all the best.

I'm not going to stand in your way but I think you need more support, not less, Serenidad.

Even the posts that really tick you off may be opportunities to move forward...or at the very least opportunities to practice tuning out the white noise in your head that we all have at times, or the second guessing, or the resentments, and focus :)

Think about it anyway - as you know, the door here swings both ways :)

D

Thanks guys. The Big Book promises will come true for me again! It happened once, it will happen again. :-)

The AA Promises

1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

8. Self-seeking will slip away.

9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84
Reprinted from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

For me I had to ask God to shut my brain down......Way too much noise and thinking. It was awful.

Today I don't drink, don't not drink alone (talk with other alcoholics) - and go to a meeting. That gives me the opportunity to wake up smiling and do it again. I hope you find peace......

Best wishes SD. Whatever works for YOU is the way to go. Peace.

:( Good luck in your journey Serenidad!! You will be missed! :hug:

Everyone has to find their own path. However...

Announcements that "I am leaving this forum" always smack of hidden agenda to me. If you need to spend more time working the steps, then by all means, post less and spend more time working the steps. Why announce that you can't participate here at all?

My sniffer isn't right 100% of the time, but I smell more to this story.

Thanks Dee. I prayed about it and feel that the support I need right now is AA support. (Not that SR support isn't wonderful!) BUT..... I find myself focusing too much on trying to help others on here than I do "myself". It's easier to look at other people's crap than my own, ya know?

I have over 30 phone numbers of wonderful women in AA in my phone right now that I can call at any moment. We have hundreds of AA meetings per week in my city. For me (right now) I think I need face 2 face support for a while. Instead of picking up my iphone or turning on my computer to read SR posts, I need to be reading my Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book because that's where the answers for me are. There is a solution! :-)

Love you Dee!

I am glad you seem to be ready to sink into recovery work, that is great! Take Care!

Hey there...

I can understand this feeling and this motive.

What arises for me is this; honor your intuition and shift your focus to the things you've identified. Our inner wisdom is the voice of Spirit and is to be given our respect....

But also; don't be too rigid with yourself.....

Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, you'll find that a little dose of SR is what is being called for.

We who struggle with addiction tend to be obsessive and go to extremes. Consider being gentle with yourself and know that it might not be 'all or nothing'.

I commend you for recognizing that maybe you've gotten a bit imbalanced and for taking actions to shift that. Yet I encourage you not to replace imbalance with a different kind of imbalance.

Remember we're here when you need us.

Best to you, Serenidad! It's your path, only you can forge it.

Don't forget to check in and say hello. Let us know how it's going and share your progress, it may inspire others.

Wishing you peace and sending you support, Serenidad. ((Hugs)).

What you are "sniffing" is my comparison and co-dependency issues. I come on to SR and read people's posts and think "hmmmm.....I'm not THAT bad!" OR I focus an hour of my time offering experience, strength and hope to people that I don't really have right now. I tend to want to look at others peoples crap instead of my own. I will also be going back to Alanon sometimes later this year.

If I'm honest, I also think I come on here to WHINE sometimes instead of taking action and finding a solution. It's easy for me to hide behind a computer and whine about things, but it's not working for me. Sitting in my own crap is getting uncomfortable. ACTION ACTION ACTION! I need to suit up and show up face to face at meetings. It's harder for me to whine and BS people when I'm staring them in the face, ya know?

Recovery is: honesty, openness, willingness and action. I know this, now I need to DO IT!

Soooo....there really isn't MORE to this story. (No...I didn't drink yesterday or the day before or the day before....) Someone made a comment about me "disappearing and coming back and disappearing and coming back" in their comment yesterday so I thought I'd just let "whoever cares" know. I realize I'm not that important and most people don't even give a crap that I'm taking a break from SR but for me it's "accountability" to the people that DO care. And also a chance to thank people for their time and all of their help recently.

P.S. I never said I am "leaving this forum". (If you re-read my post) I am NOT leaving this forum. I am taking a "break" from this forum to focus on AA and create a solid sober foundation so I can return and help people here who want it.

God Bless you!

Good luck Serenidad. I hope working the steps more pays off for you, but I agree with Dee that you need more support and not less. I hope to see you back here soon. :hug:

Be well.