Drinking ... It's as unsatisfying as I expected
 

Well ... I drank today. I have been going downhill for a long time. I would have couple of days, then think, "See, what were you worried about?" And at the same time, "How much stress can one person deal with? Time for some 'relief'"!

Well, drinking sucks. I have had my fill of drinking today and it is not satisfying. It makes me feel gross. I can't think straight. My wife knew when she smelled me coming home and the disappointment I saw there was like a dagger.

The good time I thought I deserved was just a delusion. Drinking always leads to this hollow terrible place. I've taken this class a thousand times.

I'm hoping I can graudate and move on to a better way of being, long term. Right now I just feel gross and can't wait for the alcohol to be out of my system. UGGGGGHHH

I hope this can be the last time you have to go thru this. :)

You can do this Thanos! We are here for you!

It's actually unbelievable. I went out to get some lunch at lunch time and stopped into a bar. I'll just watch one inning, it is the season opener after all! So I ordered a beer. And then six beers later I was still at the bar. Not even interested in the game of course. Went to the next bar. Ordered more beer. Went to another bar. They know me at this place, got a free drink for showing my face (out of money at this point). Still early so decide to go home ... Who's in line for the bus? Oh, my wife! So she sees me straight away and knows. I couldn't even stand up straight.

Been a few hours and I have that feeling where you have drunk too much, taken a few hours to sober up, are still somewhat drunk but can feel your own bad breath, clouded mind, disgusting cloudiness. Hate this.

My wife is too nice.

Thank you guys! I really don't know how to make tomorrow my last day one.

Don't choose the bar for the place to eat your lunch next time. Gotta remove some of those temptations in the early days of your sobriety or you will trip every time.

You just make a decision and stick to it. Nothing more than a choice that you reaffirm daily. I can't claim yet that I won't ever drink again, but I know I'm not going to drink today.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

Easy peasy. (((Wink))))

I guess I am trying to understand why tomorrow shouldn't be day 1. Besides feeling disgusted and gross with drinking, your wife doesn't seem too happy about what went on today either. Tomorrow seems like a great day for a day 1.

Welcome back Thanos :)

There's the two sides of the battle right there.

You can stop drinking right now - if you're prepared to commit to whatever it takes, Thanos.

AA or some other meeting based group, Dr, Counsellor, inpatient or outpatient rehab, daily SR....

You just have to commit to change and pick your approach.

D

You can do this, go at things again but change up your plan moving forward!! :)