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Old 04-06-2015, 09:02 AM
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I Want To Be...

Happy and sober again!

Hi, I'm new to the forum. I signed up in hopes of getting encouragement while staying sober. Any ideas on how to get through loneliness and boredom while sober? (<-- The triggers that cause me to drink)

Thank you!
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Old 04-06-2015, 09:05 AM
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Wlecome to SR Sober Runner! You will find a ton of encouragement and support here, read lots and ask lots of questions.
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Old 04-06-2015, 09:07 AM
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Welcome! Well, what do you like to do? Run? Sign up for a runner's group. Go on meetup.com and find a hike or a kayaking trip or go bird watching or learn to play guitar or go to AA meetings or the library?

You have to be creative and get out there. It takes time to rebuild a life. One day at a time.
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Old 04-06-2015, 09:13 AM
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Welcome SoberRunner
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Old 04-06-2015, 09:19 AM
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Welcome to the Forum SoberRunner!!
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Old 04-06-2015, 09:20 AM
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Thank you for the warm welcome(s)!

BiminiBlue, I've tried those things but they only last an hour or so... Then I'm back at home, alone. I'm trying to find a hobby I can absolutely fall in love with because I heard the best way to stop drinking is to replace it with a hobby.
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Old 04-06-2015, 09:20 AM
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This is one of our Stickies:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
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Old 04-06-2015, 09:24 AM
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Thank you, Anna! I'll take a look at that right now.
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Old 04-06-2015, 09:53 AM
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SoberR.,

They only last an hour if you stop hanging. That said, I get your gist. Maybe volunteer at your local public school or Boys & Girls club? You can focus on coaching / teaching the art of running, and its therapeutic benefits for body and mind. If you are my kind of runner, the kind who runs to quiet / purge the crazy, then share the secret..... there are plenty who need it!
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Old 04-06-2015, 11:05 AM
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Trail Ultra Marathons come to mind!
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Old 04-06-2015, 11:14 AM
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Welcome. You've come to a great place.
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Old 04-06-2015, 11:15 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Welcome! Well, what do you like to do? Run? Sign up for a runner's group. Go on meetup.com and find a hike or a kayaking trip or go bird watching or learn to play guitar or go to AA meetings or the library?

You have to be creative and get out there. It takes time to rebuild a life. One day at a time.
great suggestions!

especially the running group one. Seek out other runners in your area, sign up for some races, commit yourself to running daily if you don't already.... running is a fantastic recovery drug.

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Old 04-06-2015, 01:40 PM
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Hi Sober Runner and welcome. I'm a runner too, but only recently a sober runner (Day 21) . Find a big goal to prep for, like an upcoming marathon! I've also found that lots of reading has been keeping my mind occupied, when I'm just lying around recovering from my workouts, and can be very rewarding.
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Old 04-07-2015, 09:01 AM
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Thanks everyone!

I'm pretty new to long distance running and honestly, don't really enjoy running more than a mile... I'm more of a sprinter but am trying to embrace running as a hobby because it keeps me in shape and I always feel better (mentally) after running.

One day I will join a running club... I think I might be kind of depressed because I don't feel like doing much of anything, especially meeting new people. I also don't seem to enjoy the things I used to enjoy. I'm not sure if drinking too much caused these feelings or if the feelings caused me to drink too much (in hopes of masking the feelings which we know is only a temporary fix but I attempted to do it anyway).

Anyway, I'm newly sober (less than a week) and attempting to be happy, sober, because the thought of no more wine, ever, makes me feel sad/depressed. I know this isn't true because I was sober for 4 years a while ago and those were the best 4 years of my life. I just need to take it one day at a time, and I'm glad I found SR!
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Old 04-07-2015, 09:04 AM
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You are awesome SoberRunner
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Old 04-07-2015, 09:11 AM
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Why don't you try an AA meeting? Everyone goes through a lot when they get sober. Having others around who understand and who will take time to get to know you is really helpful.

I think drinking to mask discomfort with life and emotions is pretty common. Give it some time, a week is really early on. I didn't really feel like myself for about the first three months. You may find that the depression lifts a lot with time. I know mine did.
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Old 04-07-2015, 09:30 AM
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I've tried AA... It didn't seem like a good fit for me. Granted, I only tried one meeting but eh--I think SR will be a better fit. And, although I'm not really in the mood, I might join a running group tonight and meet up with some sober groups on MeetUp.

A while ago, I found a couple of groups (running and social) that interested me, I've just yet to try them. I think I'm just sick of always having to go places solo (because I'm in a new city and most of my friends are OOS and/or married with children) that I just stopped attempting to meet new people...which led to more drinking. Ooppss! I'm also an adrenaline junkie so my idea of "fun" tends to be different than most.

Anyway, I know I'll feel better soon so I'll just try to keep myself occupied! Thank you for the words of wisdom, Bimini!
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Old 04-07-2015, 10:15 AM
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Originally Posted by SoberRunner View Post
Happy and sober again!

Hi, I'm new to the forum. I signed up in hopes of getting encouragement while staying sober. Any ideas on how to get through loneliness and boredom while sober? (<-- The triggers that cause me to drink)

Thank you!
I try not to give advice by sharing in first person singular.

I take it you're a runner, if so, I was a sub 5 minute miler in middle school, I ran competitively throughout high school as well. I was also a wrestler and used running for my training, as well as daily weight training. I became addicted to running and pumping iron. Once a week on average I ran 1/2 marathons.

You probably know that the pituitary gland produces Beta - Endorphin, a potent pain suppressant 80 times stronger than morphine This explained why at about 9 to 11 miles when I hit and got through what runner's call the "wall" (of pain), I'd get a euphoric high.

What I discovered through psychotherapy is that beginning in childhood I learned to compensate for depression which I thought was LONELINESS and BOREDOM by staying very active. My depression was a chemical change and my activity was a chemical change that medicated my depression that I created with my extreme behavior that athletics afforded me. I was also a competitive swimmer. I sport parachuted in the 60's when non-military technique was first developed in the USA. I did deep dive saturation SCUBA, mostly on shipwrecks. My SCUBA driving partner was a former Navy Seal and member of Alcoholics Anonymous who 12 Stepped me.

In closing my sharing, the awareness of non-substance addiction, which is somewhat overlooked, can be the key to recovery.
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Old 04-07-2015, 10:17 AM
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Welcome to SR SoberRunner. Stay strong!
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Old 04-07-2015, 10:38 AM
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Welcome to SR, SR.

I struggled with the boredom issue, too. But, after a while I realized how much more I was capable of doing when I wasn't drunk or hungover. You will be amazed.

I was able to get and stay sober (so far, at least) by using SR as my main source of support. For some of us, that is enough. The key is to find what help is best for you and then reach out for it.

Good luck. I hope you will post often and let us know how you are doing.
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