bp09

Determined to make it through night 1. Tired of the same routine of telling myself it's ok to have a couple after work, then feeling like crap and feeling guilty the next morning over and over. This has to end. Maybe Easter time can be my rising up.

biminiblue

One thing I said to myself every morning in early sobriety was, "I'm going to bed sober tonight, no matter what."

That statement helped me a lot.

RDBplus3

hello bp09,
it helped me when I fully understood, for myself, that I had 'crossed the line' into having a physical and mental condition where my body and mind processed alcohol differently from other people that could 'drink safely'.

For me, if I take alcohol into my system, my body 'craves' more. Sometimes I can 'control' the craving, but my body, and mind, want more and I justify it beyond any 'reasonable' rationalization.

Then, when I get sober, my mind, and body, have an obsession to 'drink just 1, because I can handle it if..."

If that is you too, then there is extremely good news...the 12 Steps of AA ALWAYS work, IF you work them.

RDBplus3...Happy, Joyous, and FREE....and I KNOW U can Be TOO.

ScottFromWI

Hey BP. Instead of planning on just "not drinking tonight", maybe make some alternate plans?

Anna

Hi bp,

I'm glad you've decided to stop drinking.

Soberwolf

Have you written a sober plan

BP you can do this

bp09

Thank you everyone! I plan on doing something tonight instead of going right home. Unfortunately my trigger is just when I get home to make a drink even if it is later. This time I just need to make it past that 'hump', go to bed for a sleepless night (my mind won't let me sleep without the drink at least for the first couple nights) I've gone a few days before but always relapse. Really gonna try and be on this site a lot and read books to try and sleep!

Soberwolf

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-features.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

RDBplus3

Keep in touch here BP.

For me, it turned out that 'I' was the Trigger.
Every underlying process led to the same automatic behavior...drink.
If things were going good, a drink would make it even better.
If things were going bad, a drink would help me cope.

Plus, I always BELIEVED I could 'keep it under control'.
That turned out to be the telltale giveaway that I was the Trigger, and then when I took a drink, it was like playing Russian Roulette...would I be able to 'keep it under control' this time? Looking back, it was pure HELL, living like that..fully under the dominance of that Obsession / Craving / Drinking cycle.

I KNOW from my experience you can be completely FREE of it all....Sobriety has given me a New World of REAL choices for me to be able to do, not so when I HAD TO be continually planning how I could drink, no matter what was going on, and I HAD TO continually 'keep it under control'..it was pure living HELL.

RDBplus3...Happy Joyous, and FREE...and I KNOW YOU CAN BE 2

bp09

Amen to that. That sounds exactly like me. I guess "I" am the trigger. Just like you said when things are good, time to have a drink, when things are bad, drink to cope. AND constantly planning how i can drink each night. Man I want to be free of this so bad. I can see how good it is on the other side, just need to commit. Sort of feel stupid having to come back to this site again with my tail between my legs. So it goes...thank you all so much for the input!

PurpleKnight

You can do this BP!! We all started with a Day 1, build from there!!

Nowsthetime

Hello:

Use SR as much as you need. There are people here 24/7 so u can always reach out or just hang and read.

You are not alone and you will not regret this desicion.

Dee74

Some great advice here - welcome back BP

Vary your routine at night - break those associations

what books do you plan to read?

D

bp09

Thank you Dee! Ive been having a few bouts of anxiety through the day about not making a drink tonight. Plan on doing some book shopping after workout. Maybe take the dog out for a sober night walk. I've been on the Stephen King gunslinger series. Finishing up book 3. Pretty good reading

biminiblue

Throw away all the alcohol - pour it out. You aren't going to need it.

bp09

Day 1 complete! Sleep was hard but satisfied that I didnt have a drop. Baby steps...next step Day 2!

biminiblue

Well done! The sleep thing is going to be hit or miss for a couple weeks. Try to have something to eat right before you go to bed, something with a lot of carbs - ice cream, cereal, cookies and milk. It helps.

You've got this! Onward Day Two.

firstymer

bp09, when I got home from work, I routinely walked through the door and immediately mixed myself a big cocktail. Now, I pour a glass of ginger ale or soda water instead. Also, I eat something right away when I get home. The urge to drink for me is diminished if I have food in my stomach.

Grind out these first few days. Know that you are doing the right thing, no matter how hard it is. Get through the day. Just get through the day. You did it yesterday. You can do it today.

Good luck. I am glad you are here with us.

bp09

Good suggestions! Thank you!

RDBplus3

bp09...coming back again (and again....) is a sign that the REAL YOU knows there is a better life than being controlled by a 'substance' or an 'addiction'.

Keep coming back... As it is said in AA, The only requirement to keep coming back is a desire to be FREE from drinking... to continue working at getting sober there is NOT a requirement to be something that you think others might think you 'should' be.

RDBplus3...Happy, Joyous, and FREE ...and I KNOW U can be 2