I almost drank on Sat
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
I almost drank on Sat
I was still angry at my hubby for complaining that he "can't have a glass of wine" with me. So Sat we went to dinner and my AV just started yelling for an amaretto sour... My rational self knew it's wrong but for some reason the good old "I'll show him" kept winning... My husband said "no, no way, you will blame me later"...
I didn't but now that it is over I can see that I was about to order one. Now I feel so stupid. I was feeling in total control, with a littlebit over a year, and now this? WHat the...
I don't know how to feel now. How can I even consider letting my AV win or even listen to it. So interesting how it just used any tool to try to get me to drink. I feel weak and stupid. I know there is no such thing as "drinking at him". What happened to everything I learned? If he would have said ok I would have probably ordered one...
Not feeling so good right now... Had to put it out there...
I didn't but now that it is over I can see that I was about to order one. Now I feel so stupid. I was feeling in total control, with a littlebit over a year, and now this? WHat the...
I don't know how to feel now. How can I even consider letting my AV win or even listen to it. So interesting how it just used any tool to try to get me to drink. I feel weak and stupid. I know there is no such thing as "drinking at him". What happened to everything I learned? If he would have said ok I would have probably ordered one...
Not feeling so good right now... Had to put it out there...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
You should consider it a victory. You didn't give in and you didn't drink even though you were close. Also you've identified another strategy AV uses on you that you need to keep an eye on, but the key thing is you're still sober!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You won. That's all that matters.
The voice is going to be there - who knows for how long? Just keep shutting it down, you know what to do.
Your husband's problem is your husband's problem. When I start thinking I need to do something to appease or make someone else comfortable and it goes against everything I believe, I know that's my problem. Staying in my own hula hoop is a big part of my recovery.
The voice is going to be there - who knows for how long? Just keep shutting it down, you know what to do.
Your husband's problem is your husband's problem. When I start thinking I need to do something to appease or make someone else comfortable and it goes against everything I believe, I know that's my problem. Staying in my own hula hoop is a big part of my recovery.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
You did really well not drinking. Give yourself credit for getting through that.
Maybe now's the time to have a chat with your husband if you haven't already. He can't have it both ways. Complaining that you can't have a glass of wine with him (and we all know where one leads, right?) and then saying "no way you'll blame me later" when you think about having an amaretto. Push me/pull you support. Either he's behind your efforts or not. I hope you can convey to him that he needs to keep his lamentations to himself of having a romantic glass of wine together. Ain't happening!
Maybe now's the time to have a chat with your husband if you haven't already. He can't have it both ways. Complaining that you can't have a glass of wine with him (and we all know where one leads, right?) and then saying "no way you'll blame me later" when you think about having an amaretto. Push me/pull you support. Either he's behind your efforts or not. I hope you can convey to him that he needs to keep his lamentations to himself of having a romantic glass of wine together. Ain't happening!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Good job.
I have to stay sober for me. Alcohol is poison for me. I look at it like a peanut allergy. Most of the world can eat the yummy things with nuts in them but unfortunately when I eat them I die.
If I jump off a 1000 foot cliff I die so I don't even consider it but somehow alcohol tries to convince me I won't go splat on the ground
I have to stay sober for me. Alcohol is poison for me. I look at it like a peanut allergy. Most of the world can eat the yummy things with nuts in them but unfortunately when I eat them I die.
If I jump off a 1000 foot cliff I die so I don't even consider it but somehow alcohol tries to convince me I won't go splat on the ground
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Thank you everybody for giving me perspective. I was counting it as A defeat since I was having those thoughts I was just disappointed at myself after all this work I have been doing to let myself get to that place but you guys have been given me perspective and Now I will see it as a victory since I didn't let my AV win after all however that was close...
And I will keep having the conversation with my husband...
And I will keep having the conversation with my husband...
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by Nowsthetime 
I don't know how to feel now. How can I even consider letting my AV win or even listen to it. So interesting how it just used any tool to try to get me to drink. I feel weak and stupid. I know there is no such thing as "drinking at him". What happened to everything I learned? If he would have said ok I would have probably ordered one...
Not feeling so good right now... Had to put it out there...
Hi.
How about ALCOHOL= powerful, cunning, baffling and insidious?
It’s proven every day.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 132
I think that's great! I think your concerns definitely show that you might want to revisit strategies you worked with earlier in your sobriety, but it WAS a victory. Three weeks in and I don't know if I am strong enough yet to deal with that kind of pressure (from my AV and a husband, no less), but you WERE! Great job!
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