LBrain

Dee, congrats on 8 years. I understand exactly what you are talking about. It's all still fresh for me but I am learning - or at least trying to.

Marcher13

Dee congrats on your achievement! I totally get what you are saying about this growth being an ongoing thing. In the beginning I thought that stopping drinking was the be all and end all, in fact it was the first step of this incredible journey.

The most surprising thing about recovery is that it never stops, as you say it's "the gift that keeps on giving", it's an unending winding road of surprises.

Soberwolf

Awesome share D Congrats on everything good coming your way

Hope you had a nice day

Spk soon my awesome friend

DrakeCKC

Congrats and thanks for being such an inspiration Dee!

least

Just want to say that I appreciate your wisdom and kindness. I hope this coming year brings you great things.

Leshar

Wow, that is so awesome Dee! Thank you for sharing, and Happy 8th anniversary!

biminiblue

Surprises and growth. Really good stuff. Oh, and music.

I find my emotions aren't as close to the surface nor as intense. That's a good thing.

Never ending thing, learning. Peace to you

courage2

I kinda like the more human, less other-worldly Dee. But then, I'll always like you. Promise.

songthread

Congratulations! Thanks for all the inspiration and wisdom that you bless myself and others with through this forum.

Creekryder

Dee, you have been here on SR since I came onto the scene. For years, I have struggled, fell off the wagon, climbed back on, and fell of again and again. Each time I came back, you were always there greeting me with an unconditional welcome and encouragement. Never condescending, your remarks and advice rival the wisdom of the sages. You continue to be footsteps to be followed. Congratulations on a sterling achievement of 8 years. I remain your loyal disciple.

pumpkinny

Fantastic! Thank you for sharing the journey.

thomas11

Hi Dee, I read all of your responses as well. Your words are always comforting. Very even keel, and logical. A skill set not all of us possess. Congrats on 8 yrs as well. Jeff

firstymer

Dee, if you get back even a fraction of the support and comfort that you give to all of us, then I foresee great things for you in Year 9.

Thank you again for all that you do. We appreciate you very much.

Aellyce

Congrats on 8 years of recovery, Dee, and thanks for the insightful share. I get what you mean by the "integration" of old features with new ones. What's great about such process is that it can continue endlessly and lead to many interesting and often unexpected turns and discoveries.

Thank you very much for being an inspiration for all of us and for making this place a safe and yet dynamic community

EndGameNYC

Congratulations, Dee.

I've read many of your early comments prior to and during your early recovery, and it's been quite the transformation for you, and for those of us who've come to know you.

You highlighted a particular issue in your OP, as I've quoted above.

One of the "stipulations" or contingencies of healthy sobriety that the AA Big Book explicitly states is taking responsibility for how we allow other people to treat us. Meaning, we are responsible for no longer allowing other people to use us as doormats, no matter what we've done and no matter how much guilt and shame we've brought upon ourselves. There is nothing in it for us to continue to allow other people to push us around, neglect us or otherwise exploit us when we're sober besides the accumulation of resentments and the eternal repetition of frustrations with which we are all too familiar.

For me, not only is this dynamic an important element of "good" sobriety, but also a requirement in terms of living a good life. It's a developmental milestone that reveals both a level of maturity and a condition of mental health that so many of us sacrificed for the very same reasons that you've described. And yet protecting ourselves from the manipulations of other people also requires care and skill in its delivery, one that does not annihilate the other while also keeping us intact.

So many stories on SR where people weren't seen or heard at an early age; were abused or neglected; abandoned in so many heartbreaking ways and in the worst of circumstances, including death; and sometimes left to die.

It is not only our right to live a better life, but also our obligation not to tolerate personal, physical and emotional insults of every kind. This is a nontrivial matter, and can make all the difference in living a life with purpose, or hiding in the shadows and hoping for the best.

With sobriety, we have an opportunity to live in a state of grace, no matter the inevitable challenges of everyday life, and the pain and suffering that is part and parcel to genuine existence.

Much to our good fortune, you wear your sobriety well, and never hesitate to reach out to someone in need.

Alynn

WAY TO GO! What an awesome example you are! Your words are so wise and helpful! Truly a blessing to me my friend!

RobbyRobot

Awesomely said, EndGame. Wow.

Hey D!!

So good to hear things are happening for you on so many levels of enjoyment and personal achievement. You've certainly morphed your recovery life into all kinds of personal bests from where you started back in the early quit days. Congratulations, man. You're truly a man of your word. The Right Stuff!!

steffie

I second what creekryder just said! I value what you write immensely and your words are truly inspirational.

Anna

Dee, I am thrilled that you have gotten back to your music. I know how much you love it. And, I think you are proof positive that recovery is full of surprises and a lifelong journey.

CAPTAINZING2000

Grats on 8 years