Serenidad

I haven't had any pleasure or euphoria from drinking in a long time. Every time I drank this last year I felt:
1. Suicidal
2. Intense depression
3. Shame
4. Fear
5. Anxiety
6. Self-hatred
7. Hopelessness
8. I had consequences
9. I vomited
10. I passed out
11. And the list goes on and on.

Are you sure the euphoria you are remembering isn't just "selective memory"? Try to think back to the last time you drank. What happened? Why did you decide to quit?

bluhend

i never got to the point where there was no more euphoria, but I was headed down a bad road, drinking too much every night, getting the beer gut and the only thing i ever looked forward to or really DID, other than work, was drink so .... it looks like a good tradeoff, let go of the euphoria thing and settle for the deeper more real happiness ...

it's so funny that I write "settle" ... obviously I need some kind of electro shock therapy to not look at it that way argh

Serenidad

Well you have 2 choices. You can get off the elevator now or wait until it hits the bottom floor. If I knew then what I know now I would have saved myself ALOT of pain and suffering and quit years and years ago. I actually DID have 5.5 years of sobriety and relapsed at the end of 2013. I "missed" the "euphoria" too...So I thought... :-(

The euphoria I thought I missed ended up feeling like hell. I'm lucky I didn't get caught drunk driving this time. I'm lucky I'm not dead. I'm just lucky I get another chance at life.

BUT.... I'm stubborn. I needed to feel the pain MYSELF. I needed to feel every second of the pain and misery that I felt to get to the point that I wanted to quit again. Nothing anyone "said" really mattered. I HAD to experience the hell to want to change. I hope you believe me when I say it truly does get much much worse and more and more miserable. I wish you the best on your journey! I truly do. :-)

dwtbd

The part that identifies and experiences the deep pleasure/euphoria doesn't have to pay the exceedingly high cost chasing the fleeting feeling, and the longer the abuse goes on the exponentially higher the costs become. It will eventually drain every last bit of mind, body and soul.
To get out you have to say enough is enough and not look back, look forward and never listen to the idea that trying to chase that dragon is worth it. It just isn't.

Hereandnow2

Bluhend I have had similar thoughts. I think those of us who did not go as far down the scale may struggle more with this? For me I struggled with the after effects hangover, guilt, ineffective, disappointing myself and others. I can trade the euphoria for that.

Bmac

I appreciate this thread. I quit this time before any serious consequences. I just knew that if I continued, it would get worse. I have to remind myself what COULD happen rather than reflect on what did happen, which is why I appreciate all of you that shared your experience and raising the bottom for me.

bluhend

exactly, get off now, thank you so much, your post will pop up on my phone once a week starting now

bluhend

thank you, that's kind of where I'm at, stopping now before it gets even worse, thinking about the possible future health consequences motivates me the most

bluhend

I'm sure there is some "rose colored glasses" thing going on here, for sure

esinger

Guess I got some sort of euphoria from drinking for some time. Last several years I had to drink more and more just to feel normal and not sick. It's no way to live and is not worth the short term perceived pleasure it brings.
For me no longer shaking, sweating, lower anxiety, regaining my self respect and my family, well, I guess that equates to sober euphoria.
Good to get out (and stay out) while your ahead of the game.

savarna

great question.

Ruby2

At the end the only euphoria I experienced was a brief half hour or less when I desperately drank to rid myself of the awful feelings of anxiety and dread and the shakes that I'd feel at the end of a day without drinking. I was strictly a maintenance drinker at the end. There was no pleasure involved. Like Della, I HAD to drink or I'd go into withdrawal.

Thank you for the reminder. This is a great topic.

alphaomega

Ah yes. The Eternal Pleasure seeker that I am.

It was in perpetually seeking that moment, that I almost died.

Kinda ironic, no ?

Nonsensical

I think trying to explain why I don't live in a state of constant regret about the lost euphoria of drinking to someone in early sobriety is like trying to explain alcoholism to the non-alcoholic.

You don't really get it until you live it.

Believe that it is real. It is.

jkirk

Running does it for me. Something I didn't do much of when the wine was flowing...

Soberpotamus

Great thread.

Once you've been sober a while, real actual pleasure and contentment come into play. Truly. Stick with sobriety, it's so worth it. Many here can attest that the trade-off is far superior. Trading chemical induced euphoria for authentic happiness and pleasure is, in my experience, something I had to have a bit of faith in order to undertake, and once things shifted, something I'll never give up. I won't go back to drinking. There are times when I'm surprised by a sudden urge of the memory of it, but I know better. I know how short lived that moment would be, and how unsatisfying, because it'll never again feel like it did when I was young and drinking. Alcoholism progresses. That euphoria wears down, and it gets to the point where there's not much of it, just the numbing and drunkenness, followed by the anxiety, the doom, and depression. Not to mention all the shame.

My absolute #1 tool for staying sober is to remember what it was like then. Some call it "playing the tape" through.