She's back... >.<
 

Hey everyone!

I joined SR back in October when I was bout 3 months into my sobriety journey... My life was changing for the better, I was genuinely happy, and [unfortunately] I had developed a sense of invincibility in terms of relapsing.

Well, I was wrong...

Around the holidays, I went out to dinner to catch up with a few friends [which I hadn't done for a while so as to avoid "tempting" situations.] At that dinner, I had a mixed drink and was able to keep it at just that one. Although I drank, I didn't consider it a "relapse" because I was able to keep it in check.

Fast-forward to now, I've fallen completely off the wagon and the past few months have been a combination of drunken nights [complete with too many blackouts to count] and a total emotional rollercoaster.

Last night was my last drink and it was a night of sheer craziness. I drank by myself and ended my night by cussing out my ex who I had recently reconnected with [although that was the LAST thing I needed to do] and just putting myself back in yet another regretful situation as a result of my inability to control or handle alcohol.

So... Today was my first full day sober. Tomorrow I'm getting back into the gym and back to eating healthily and focusing on my mental and spiritual wellbeing. Also re-quitting cigarettes.

This is not going to be easy... Quitting smoking in itself has proven to be next to impossible, and doing so while not drinking and implementing all the other positive changes I need to make is going to make for a tough - but necessary - journey.

My last time around I quit smoking, drinking, and weed within about a week of each other [cold turkey] so I know I can do it but I know that alcoholism is a progressive disease and I don't doubt for one second that going at it this time is going to be much more difficult for me than the last time. Not to mention last time I was in a different place mentally where I actually WANTED to quit, whereas this time around it's moreso a matter of me biting the bullet and accepting that I NEED to quit.

I've been M.I.A around here but I could never forget the immense support I got here on SR before I fell off the wagon so I'm looking forward to being back and reconnecting with all of you so that I can get through this and be of help to anyone who needs it.

So... Here's to day one. In 5 hours I will have officially made that milestone.

:)
Bri

welcome back XIIIXXIXXVI :)

what's your plan this time? :)

D

Glad you made it back. I've had my own ups and downs. I can relate to the wanting and needing to quit. But the end result is the same, never take that first drink or the monster comes out.

Rooting for you

Glad you are back!

Welcome bk B have you written up a sober plan yet ?

My plan this time around is to stay mindful of my sobriety.
When I started to feel like I had it under control, I stopped focusing on it and fell off the wagon.
I'm also going to get back into a strict fitness / nutrition regimen.
& most importantly, stay out of places where I'll be tempted to drink.

Bri

Very good to see you Bri. Welcome back to Day 1 - you are doing it this time. :)

not much time has passed with your latest relapse, this may just be like last time, you haven't progressed too much, yet!

Hi Bri! Glad to see you decided to get sober again -

Hi there, I'm so glad you are back! Do you attend 12 step meetings? In addition to SR, I attend 12 step meetings and have met some amazing people who I can call and talk to face to face. I think exercise and staying away from places where people drink are both great ideas. (For ME too!)

welcome back, Bri.
so many threads on these boards start in such a similar vein to yours: i was doing okay, had one or two but kept it in check and didn't consider it a big deal or anything of much importance and now wow here i am after a few horrific weeks...

it seems most of us really can't learn from others' experiences...
took me years and years to learn from my own experience enough to stop denying it.
sigh.
knowing this: my inability to control or handle alcohol. is the number one stepping stone.
good to see you here.

Hi Serenidad :) No, I don't attend 12 Step meetings...
I did as part of the requirements of reinstating my drivers license but I wasn't much of a fan of it and haven't gone back since.
Hence, why I'm so grateful I discovered SR. It's not in-person but it proved to be a great support system for me during my last go-round.

Bri

Welcome back!! :)

That's a good start - you can colour in some more detail in as you go.

The problem with a fitness regime as a recovery plan is it only works so long as you're fit, so I recommend thinking of some other things too. Posting regularly here is a good idea...maybe join the Class of April support thread?

Staying out of wet places is great too - but I reckon you should also prepare for those 'ambush' moments when you're suddenly in the middle of a party or unwittingly near alcohol...

and have a plan to combat cravings. There are a some good ideas here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

Welcome back - can you think of anything you could do this time to make it different?

Welcome back, Bri!

So what can you do today to make the outcome different? Have faith that you can do this.

I need to sit and come up with a clear plan because yesterday proved that this is not going to be easy at all. I literally felt depressed at one point and wrote out my options - drinking or not drinking - and the potential consequences of each but I still decided to drink. It seems so much harder this time than last time because I've gotten in the habit of drinking when I'm bored, stressed, etc. Not to mention, a new prescription I've started taking makes me feel like I've done an eightball of blow and drinking seems to take that edge off somewhat. I'm just dealing with and trying to make changes to a lot and it feels very overwhelming knowing that I won't be able to lean on my usual crutch, alcohol. >.<

Bri

Perhaps you could start with your doctor? Maybe the prescription you were given is not correct and could be tweaked. He/She may also have some valuable insight into getting sober, you'd be surprised how often people go to their doctors about alcoholism...it's nothing to be ashamed of and they have seen it all.

Maybe another thing you could try would be some face to face support like a meeting or a drug/alcohol counselor. Physically being around those who have the same problem or understand the problem can be very helpful.