day 22 - checking in...and checking out for a while too.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 105
day 22 - checking in...and checking out for a while too.
Dear all
well, this is my first real attempt at open-ended, permanent sobriety and, I must say I am quite pleased to get to day 22 without a slip.
I have negotiated family and social occasions, stressful work stuff, tiredness, boredom and the ribbing of friends in this short time and I honestly feel further away from caving in today than at any time in those 3 weeks.
But....
I am finding that time on the internet is not doing much for my mood...or my waistline for that matter :-) I have very little free time between work and family commitments as it is and I have given almost all of it to being on SR during these weeks.
Now, please note, it has been exactly what I needed to build knowledge and belief. I am immensely grateful to those who have helped me and there are many of you. Thank you so much.
I feel certain though that I need to invest some time in my physical wellbeing now to move forward.
Also, to be very honest, at this stage in my sobriety reading a lot of the stuff on SR is stirring up some difficult memories. It has been a bit more evocative than I expected.
So, I have joined an abstinence-based therapy group to work through some of the stuff that is emerging for me and to get some psychological support as I do so. Added to this I have devised a modest programme of fitness and exercise and these will be my focus for the next month or so. I may well return to SR in the near future but for now, I think I need to do some stuff with some 'in the flesh' companions for a while.
I hope that perhaps you know what I mean when I say that sometimes you just know what you have to do to move yourself forward.
This is not me going soft on sobriety, far from it. I am intensifying my investment in a sober life.
I hope you understand.
Once again, thanks for your wisdom, humanity and decency. I wish you all every good thing.
I am sure I will check in again sooner or later - hopefully to share news of continued success.
Best wishes to all
Chordcowboy
well, this is my first real attempt at open-ended, permanent sobriety and, I must say I am quite pleased to get to day 22 without a slip.
I have negotiated family and social occasions, stressful work stuff, tiredness, boredom and the ribbing of friends in this short time and I honestly feel further away from caving in today than at any time in those 3 weeks.
But....
I am finding that time on the internet is not doing much for my mood...or my waistline for that matter :-) I have very little free time between work and family commitments as it is and I have given almost all of it to being on SR during these weeks.
Now, please note, it has been exactly what I needed to build knowledge and belief. I am immensely grateful to those who have helped me and there are many of you. Thank you so much.
I feel certain though that I need to invest some time in my physical wellbeing now to move forward.
Also, to be very honest, at this stage in my sobriety reading a lot of the stuff on SR is stirring up some difficult memories. It has been a bit more evocative than I expected.
So, I have joined an abstinence-based therapy group to work through some of the stuff that is emerging for me and to get some psychological support as I do so. Added to this I have devised a modest programme of fitness and exercise and these will be my focus for the next month or so. I may well return to SR in the near future but for now, I think I need to do some stuff with some 'in the flesh' companions for a while.
I hope that perhaps you know what I mean when I say that sometimes you just know what you have to do to move yourself forward.
This is not me going soft on sobriety, far from it. I am intensifying my investment in a sober life.
I hope you understand.
Once again, thanks for your wisdom, humanity and decency. I wish you all every good thing.
I am sure I will check in again sooner or later - hopefully to share news of continued success.
Best wishes to all
Chordcowboy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 105
Thanks all
Soberwolf, I might post but... I do find that whenever I come here I sort of lose a couple of hours and it is a bit of a rollercoaster too. Honestly, I think that reading a lot of stuff here has made me realise how bad I have been at certain (many) times in my life. There is value in that for sure but it can be quite hard too.
I feel sure I will be back. I just feel like I need to establish some new and progressive patterns in my days and, for a little while, I don't think that will include the web.
I appreciate the kind words though and will miss you all :-)
CC
Soberwolf, I might post but... I do find that whenever I come here I sort of lose a couple of hours and it is a bit of a rollercoaster too. Honestly, I think that reading a lot of stuff here has made me realise how bad I have been at certain (many) times in my life. There is value in that for sure but it can be quite hard too.
I feel sure I will be back. I just feel like I need to establish some new and progressive patterns in my days and, for a little while, I don't think that will include the web.
I appreciate the kind words though and will miss you all :-)
CC
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