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Rejected for not coming from a wealthy family...

Old 04-04-2015, 04:58 PM
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Post Rejected for not coming from a wealthy family...

My dream ever since I can remember was to become a doctor... I've suffered, and worked extremely hard to achieve this dream. I put my entire life on hold for it. Although years ago I fell in love with lets call him A and now I want to start a family of my own, but knew I couldn't go to med school while having a young family (some people can, but it's past my emotional capability to juggle the two.. not to mention cost), and I chose family. I'm using my prerequisites to become a nurse instead. Problem is that my boyfriend won't marry me until I have an income, and I feel uncomfortable to make a career change to start a family with someone I am not married to. But I folded and decided I would live with the consequences of choosing nursing vs my dream job.

Well today my boyfriends father (lets call him K) who is grossly wealthy wanted to speak with me alone, and he told me he is happy that I made a career change because without doing it the relationship I had with his son was doomed. What I was told is that this whole time the family has been telling A* not to be with me, because my schooling was too expensive to take the risk. I was told that if I came from a wealthy family (due to the fact I was born in poverty) that his son would want to marry me, but because I don't I don't get the luxury of A* desire of marriage. K* also let me know that he has a chunk of money that he has been wanting to give A, but with me around he wasn't going to give it to him in-case it went towards my education, but is now willing to give it to him....

Then ultimately the real messed up part is that K* told me the real reason he wanted to talk to me is because A* asked him to test me with a few questions... but out of the kindness of K* the test will not occur. How kind...

I feel betrayed, embarrassed, hurt, and just ultimately crushed that there has been so much doubt about me when I have been nothing but dedicated, and loving for him and his family. Now I am stuck in A* parents mansion without A* for days and I am hours away from home and have no mode of transportation. I can't talk to A* because he is out hunting and I only want to get away from his family who doesn't accept me but I'm stuck.

The mansion here has a lot of quality alcoholic beverages, and it feels like it's my only escape... HELP!!! I don't know what to do with myself..





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Old 04-04-2015, 05:06 PM
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I can't imagine that you would want to wake up with a hangover because of the socially shallow opinions of the upper class. I am sorry for your feelings and understand that this must hurt, but nothing is so bad that drinking solves or helps it.
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:08 PM
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I'm not sure what to say about all that, so I'll stick to the basics - you getting drunk won't solve any of that, and won't endear you to your boyfriends family, Frixion.

Is there really no way you can leave, at least til your bf comes back?

This is a pretty convoluted situation - where is what you want in all of this though?
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:09 PM
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Hi Frixion dont panic were here to help you always have us

Im really sorry about the family doubt dont let it affect the love you have for your man dont overthink it either yes its unkind yes its mean but at least you know what they really think and you dont have to waste your time explaining yourself be polite and the better person and have a conversation with your man about how you feel

If your struggling with cravings try this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:11 PM
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I'm confused about why you are stuck in their home. Can you not call a taxi and go back to your own home? In any case, drinking is the last thing you should be thinking about. It won't help anything and will only give the family more reasons to consider you unfit to be a part of their family.

Personally, from what you've posted, I think you can do better than that group of hoity toity snobs. He wanted his dad to "test" you? Really? Pffftt...
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:15 PM
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Sounds to me like the father ambushed you while the son is away...I wouldn't believe the son asked him to do it until the son confirms this. Either way I would take a bus or a cab and get the hell out of Dodge...and don't let a snob jeopardize your sobriety. That would prolly make them happy and give them more ammunition.
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Bmac View Post
...because of the socially shallow opinions of the upper class.
To use the word class in reference to this individual is asinine. Regardless of his financial status, neither of these men have a shred of class.

As hard as this is, it is a valuable lesson. Never let someone else define your self worth.
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:17 PM
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Yeah, Della may be right. The dad may have made up that part about testing you. But, even so, I wouldn't want to go through life with in-laws like that.
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:18 PM
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@Suki The place I'm at is by the water, middle of no where, no taxi, or bus, driving would take hours and I don't own a car
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:22 PM
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Well were here 24/7 365 and we can be here for you

Take your mind off things watch a movie write a gratitude list interact on SR

Do anything but think about this situation for now

(((Frixion)))
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:25 PM
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Thanks everyone, just getting it out and reading your comments are really helping
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Frixion View Post
Then ultimately the real messed up part is that K* told me the real reason he wanted to talk to me is because A* asked him to test me with a few questions...
Maybe it was a basic math test? Perhaps your BF has a phobia for paying with exact change and needs someone quick in basic addition and subtraction skills?

(Not making light of the situation, just hoping a quick giggle helps)
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:35 PM
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Frixion, I think your feelings about the father are spot on. I would wait for A to come back home and discuss the entire convo with him. You might be surprised at how much of this actually came from the father and NOT A.

Good luck.

If youre wanting company, there's usually someone lurking in the chat room to talk to.
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Frixion View Post
Thanks everyone, just getting it out and reading your comments are really helping
I am so impressed with the wealth of wisdom which has come your way on this website and have little more to add other than the very best wishes at this holiday season. Drinking will make it worse, perhaps impossible. Do nothing rash. If you wish, express your love for him but maintain your values, your dignity, by letting them know that, whatever happens, you intend to become a doctor one day and marry a man you love, whether it will be A or some other man. You will care for the sick, rich or poor, whatever their "social position."

W.
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:44 PM
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sorry to hear about all that Frixion. But as we all know, drinking will not fix it or make you feel any better.

I hope everything works out.
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:49 PM
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double post
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:50 PM
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K*'s story doesn't seem believable to me Frixion. I really doubt your boyfriend asked his dad to test you. The guy sounds weird. It actually sounds like a bizarre deleted scene from Meet the Parents. Talking it out like you are is way better then drinking.
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Old 04-04-2015, 06:02 PM
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My mother is a doctor. She had 3 kids after med school. Go to med school and don't worry about getting married/kids until after
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Old 04-04-2015, 06:06 PM
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Are you sure this isn't Gilmore Girls?

I'm with Soberwolf, stay busy and don't engage with K.
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Old 04-04-2015, 06:14 PM
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Originally Posted by silentrun View Post
K*'s story doesn't seem believable to me Frixion. I really doubt your boyfriend asked his dad to test you. The guy sounds weird. It actually sounds like a bizarre deleted scene from Meet the Parents. Talking it out like you are is way better then drinking.
bahahaha this is like a scene of meet the parents!!! That actually made me laugh out loud... and A* mom gave me a wired look which made me laugh harder! Don't really care about being embarrassed further, guess that's a plus lol
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