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Musician getting off booze, Day 4- Attempt #99

Old 04-06-2015, 06:42 PM
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Went to my fist meeting since the mid 90s. It was less then 3 blocks from my house. Great people there really made me feel welcome. Although I might be more geared for AA the meeting was NA. I did briefly speak and stayed and chatted and help clean up. I will be going back, it was a nice break to talk to addicts trying to stop as opposed to use....
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Old 04-07-2015, 02:49 PM
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Scored the new job! Synthetic urine saved the day forsure as it was a week after the Miami trip! Will have to travel for only the first two weeks in the beginning M-F. I am making a fresh start and will not be drinking at all. I am in fear of that slightly.....Not leaving until Monday........... Since I am off booze right now it seems do able. I am going to keep my story going. Off to celebrate (without Alcohol)... Counting my blessings! It was make or break!
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Old 04-13-2015, 07:11 PM
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Ok, doing good so far! Day 12. I am in another state for work. Really bored though! Made the entire plane trip with layover without having a beer.

I am in paradise and I am going to do my best to not have one drink. I am loving my new job, so far! I have to make it until Friday! Just went for a 1.5 hour run. Going to get dinner alone... There is alcohol everywhere. I am fighting temptation! I am the only one aside from my counselor and this community that is supportive of my not drinking even my wife was expecting me to crack by now. Its hard, doing well so far! Wish me luck!
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Old 04-13-2015, 07:55 PM
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And I'm glad to see you're on day 12 because I just read through this whole thread starting with that trip to Miami.
I'm at two months. The biggest help I got was having my daughter in the house - she watched me like a hawk the first two weeks and made sure I didn't drink.
Looks like you are off to a good start.
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Old 04-13-2015, 08:22 PM
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Thanks guys, turns out the place I walked to eat was fast food with no alcohol, passed two gas stations with nice big beer signs. I can do this shiz!

I guess I think about Robert Downey Jr., Randy Blythe and Duff McKagain as my inspiration to get over alcohol addiction... I just want to kick ass at life AND I am going to!
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Old 04-13-2015, 08:31 PM
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Congrats on day 12

D
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Old 04-14-2015, 03:25 PM
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Nice work DJM. You're doing this.
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Old 04-14-2015, 06:12 PM
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Way to go!! You rock...ha
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Old 04-14-2015, 08:41 PM
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Day 13. After work went for a 1.5 hour run. Then thought I would try jack in the box for the first time with limited food near me and no car. Stacked a chicken patty on a double burger. Not that good... Didn't miss much.Shame on me, but hay! Not drinking! 3 more days until I can go home! Damn a beer sounds good, but yeah bad idea.... As I was jogging I thought to myself it would be great to be like 1 year no alcohol! Then I was like ahh look at those people having a nice beer in the sunset. I ran......
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Old 04-14-2015, 09:33 PM
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Originally Posted by CharlesG View Post
Hey man! May the lord bless you!
I am currently living through the same struggle. I am 23, and have been doing music for about four years now, traveling to flordia, traveling to mexico, all around the world, and the main fuel for me until this year has been drugs and alcohol. I would smuggle pills, smuggle weed anything. I have been sober since Christmas of last year, until a music festival in Austin, TX. I didnt get too drunk but I got back on board with drinking and weed. I have been wanting to quit, but sometimes dont see the reason in it. I smoked last night and see that its def not the route I would like to be going down. I feel so far away from god and my true self and purpose. Although I am still able to function and do certain things. Which is why I eventually go back and crash again. And always want to quit whenever I get back hooked. I am going to stay on this website, and keep my faith, and look into other things. I will work all week and stay busy, making my mind up to never touch those things for excitement and fun again!
I wish you the best of luck, we are all human and all have these same wants and defects! I am here with you!
I have also made so many Day 1 posts here, I am happy to be here again and seeing that I shouldnt ever leave this website no matter how far along i feel i have.
Haha. "Doing music". Made me laugh for some reason.
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Old 02-17-2017, 07:43 PM
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And I am back.....

Been successful at taking long breaks from alcohol. I liked this site so I thought I would come back...... after another disaster. I will get into this more soon.


As I read back it's crazy so much has happened, my father who I cared for died being my last direct family member alive and I have a new 4 Month old baby girl who I adore. My drinking has really calmed down after "The Cruise Incident" and I was basically drama free and able to have a few and keep under control until last weekend where we had another incident. Seems I have some major breakdown or problem at the beginning of the year for a while. I had the gig of a lifetime and I completely blew it beyond belief. I will go into more detail as to what may have triggered me and the dynamic of the whole thing. Ended up being a 5 day hardcore drinking binge. I am finally feeling stable after taking my lorazepam to help withdrawal and it's been a few days. I appreciate your feedback and i wish you all happiness and success with sobriety.

Also is there no app for this? The iPhone one doesn't work? Kinda annoying to use a browser. Thank You
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Old 02-17-2017, 08:13 PM
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I'm sorry for your loss.

For me I had to accept tat my relationship with alcohol is toxic - sooner or later I'll be back at square one in the most disastrous way.

I've been reading Sebastian Bach;s biog recently. He said something that made sense to me - 'I don't get into trouble every time I drink - but every time I get into trouble, drinking is involved'.

Food for thought?

The apps been discontinued by the owners. They recommend the mobile version of the site now.
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Old 02-17-2017, 09:41 PM
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Yeah that about sounds right, the only times I have been in trouble have been because I was drunk. The months I go without drinking are insanely productive. I came to realize I cannot create when I am Drinking . As soon as I get off the booze my creativity goes through the roof. I guess right now I am sad at my recent binge as I blew the opportunity I always wanted and many of the people who look up to me must be ashamed. I partied with thousands of my friends last weekend. I couldn't imagine getting there respect unless I was off booze and off booze for a long time. My wife is very disappointed and all I was trying to do was have us have fun together. I was supposed to go to a two day rave and behave and come home Saturday and get her. I came home, had to still be drunk. She sent me into the studio where I could sleep it off and I had alcohol in there and kept drinking. She never came with me for the 2nd night and we got physically into it, or she did with me. Punching stuff in my studio and punching me. I drove probably still really drunk to the show and I basically don't remember any of it. I work my ass off with two full time jobs and a part time one and I was looking and planning on this being a great getaway from writing and producing. Financially I am
Doing well but mentally I need a break. I feel so sad that I'm the course of 72 hours I could damage my family, trash my music career, call in sick in my professional career ( although I probably haven't called in for many many months), ruined my best friends Valentine's Day as he and his gf let Me come to there house when I wasn't welcome at home. My aunt and her mom came for an intervention with my wife and we were constructive. Wife also posted all over Facebook how much of a pos I am and people stuck up for me because she had her Key West weekend getaway just two weeks prior and I hadn't been out since October. I was with her friends the entire time as we are all like a raver family, I have been doing this with the same people for 20 years. So her friends were backing me up but I just wanted to come home sober or not to try and make things better and get away from the embarrassment of the two previous nights. She wrote me a two page letter on everything I did wrong and from looking at messages and CC transactions there was a lot I missed. I just feel so sad. I blew the end of an era I was a huge part of and this was the last show in this series. I am embarrassed as this is all on Facebook or was before she deleted it. I am so ashamed.....I was able to keep my drinking under contro for a while but once I felt I was free and someone passed me a cold bottle of jack the entire weekend became a blur. I can go long periods of not drinking, but I usually forget the failure and say to myself...... Let's just get one beer. Turns into a 4 Pack, well hell a 6er is only a dollar more. Then my drinking plateaus and is ok for months. My creativity drops and then I have a big blow out. It's like a 12 month cycle lately. Now I am back on the wagon detriment to not drink, I just don't know how I can regain the respect of my peers and my wife and my family.
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Old 02-17-2017, 09:54 PM
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I am thankful I am sleeping inside my house even though it's the couch and I am very thankful I didn't hurt anyone or get arrested. I am thankful my wife doesn't want a divorce (I hope). I have 3 beautiful children that I love so much and I don't want to ruin their life's. I am a loving and kind person who hugs everyone and loves life. I have always associated fun with getting messed up. I am scared to be around anyone or talk to anyone because I am so ashamed.... thanks for listening. I honestly have nobody I can talk to aside from my wife and she is sick of hearing my bs.
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Old 02-17-2017, 09:55 PM
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regaining respect takes time I think.

If, over time, people see your commitment to recovery is a genuine one, they should start to trust you again.

Try not to get too stuck on the past.

I reestablished my career and restarted my creativity eventually - I play better and write better sober.... but the only way I can continue to do both those things to the absolute best of my ability is to stay sober 100%.

I finally learned it's the first drink that sets me off, not the last.

After that first drink I can never guarantee what will happen, or where I might end up.

I'm not prepared to throw the dice on that crap shoot anymore.

D
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Old 02-17-2017, 09:56 PM
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Post away - this is a great place of support and understanding
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Old 02-18-2017, 12:22 AM
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It sure is. This place works if you let it and do your part.
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Old 02-18-2017, 12:24 AM
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Hey dj- welcome back man! I use my iPhone to SR but I scroll down to "view full site". Works good on the phone.
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Old 02-18-2017, 12:46 AM
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Welcome back, DJ!
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Old 02-18-2017, 06:24 AM
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I'm with you. Starting over again myself for more times than I can even count. Let's do this.
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