Para

Day 1 of recovery for me. I'm scared. Not so much of not drinking. I don't want to drink. Alcohol has ruined my life. Just scared of the aftermath of my blackout yesterday. I'm embarrassed and ashamed. My family is disgusted by me. Just reaching out for support.

I hope things get better.

Soberwolf

Hi Para we cant change the past but we can change today

By not drinking none of these things will happen and life will improve as time goes on

Is this a day 1 para ?

sva777

Hi Para we are all here to help each other. Let us know what you need.

Cameronoconnor

Don't cave, stay strong Iv caved and already regret it

wehav2day

Para, welcome. True, you can't change the past. But you can make it never happen again. Drink lots of water, take care of yourself today.

The ohmygosh I don't want to drink phase will pass, so now is a good time to make a plan. There is a lot of good info on the forums here about recovery methods. Probably the most expedient thing to do is find an aa meeting in your area.

You never have to feel like this again.

Para

That ohmygosh I never want to drink phase will pass. And that when we have to be very careful.

On The Road

Glad to hear it scared you because blackouts didn't scare me for years. In fact, I didn't acknowledge they were happening and that took me down a very dark road.

The best advice I received early on was: do anything you have to to go to bed sober tonight. Just keep that in mind.

Dee74

hows day one going Para?

D

thomas11

Hi Para, jump on the bus...Seriously. Jump on the bus. You are not alone.

MaidenNZ

You CAN do this

tomsteve

Remember this?

Humbling myself and going back to AA will save me. But I must do the work, that is where i've failed so many times. I have a lot of work to do. This time I will do different!
What I needed was some suggestions..a plan...someone to tell me what to do...I like what you said (quoted below)..and that's going to be my plan:

"Then the work starts with lots of meetings, getting AND USING a sponsor, stop isolating, getting active at meetingS, make the changes we need to stay in recovery and just don’t drink even if you’re A$$ falls off."

I hope ya don't procrastinate or make excuses to not go to meetings.

The programs been a godsend for me.

1983ritag

I completely understand how you are feeling right now. I find myself in a similar situation. I hope you feel better and remember things will get better.

Goose1

I hear you para. We must reach deep and take something positive out of this. After all we are in the same boat. I'm scared also. Look at it this way, last nights drunk got us back here. We are so fortunate to be able to come back. Some don't make it. You, everyone here and I did. Now lets do something with it...Peace

Serenidad

I journaled every single moment and detail of the pain, embarrassment, shame, anxiety, depression, consequences etc. from my last drunk. When I think of drinking, I read it. After I read it, I don't want to drink anymore. Maybe give it a try. We alcoholic a DO have really good "forgetters".

Para

Day 1. So far so good! I have not had a drink. And nor have I wanted to. I spent most of it with family and it was my nephew's 9th birthday.
I also lost my only set of car keys yesterday in my drunken stupor too. Can't find them anywhere and the restaurant can't find them. So I had to also get my car towed home and pay to make another set of keys. Active addiction is becoming too costly for me. A $10 Mickey cost me a few hundred dollars. But I will not complain. Losing my car keys was a blessing in disguise. I might have drove.
My mom said she would drive me to a meeting tonight!

Para

Thank you so much for the support! I am so grateful.

Para

I survived the first day! Going to bed sober! Thank you God! Good night

ScottFromWI

Great work Para, hope you get some rest and onward to day 2!

Goose1

Happy Birthday to your nephew Para. On that same night, this is what I did. After being cut off at the third bar, I called my wife and told her to cancel my bank card because the bar had it behind the bar. I had a bad experience before with this very thing. My mind snapped. So I go to another bar and gave them my card. After running up a bill, I once again got cut off. Well when the manager ran my card, it did not go through. I knew I had the money but in my drunken stuper I could not figure out why. I again called my wife, who paid with her card. But did not tell me over the phone. By this time I'm angry. I am now in the parking lot arguing with the manager. For some reason I snapped out of it! Then by God's Grace I got home. Yesterday when I woke up, I did not remember I called my wife to cancel my card. My wife then told me, she did not want to tell me over the phone the second time to make me more angry. So I had to look at myself and admit this whole situation was my fault. As serious as this affliction is sometimes we just got look at ourselves and chuckle. Pick ourselves up and move forward. One of the hardest things I go through is a week down the road I forget what I put myself through. No more denial Para, no more!

happyandfree

Good job on day one , para. We've all been there para. Stick with us here and you can do this. You never have to have another embarrassing blackout again! You can move forward and be proud of yourself. Trust us....it is possible.