rockstonic

I moved a few months ago from a roach infested apartment to a house. So far the house has been roach free, but today I found a live roach. I'm hoping it's an isolated incident, but roaches are roaches and where there's one there tends to be many. It's thrown me into quite a funk. Everyone has told me I'm being dramatic, cause hey, bugs are hard to get rid of, but I feel like these demons are haunting me.

The thing is, it's kind of more about what the roaches represent than like the actual bugs. I've been having nightmares about them coming back. I'm four months sober and have been sober the whole time in this new place. I was kind of hoping that I'd moved away from all of my demons, bugs and drinking all rolled into one. The bugs just make me feel like no matter how hard I try I can't shake the punishment for all my messy drinking. I know that the infestation got bad while I was too busy being drunk and leaving food out and not taking out the trash to attend to it.

The roaches just remind me of drinking and of all the bad things. The fact that they're still here feels like it's all my fault for not being better, cleaner, more organized, less of a drunken mess. I know this is a bad line of thinking. Beating myself up is a dangerous road. I guess it's a good metaphor for things in sobriety. Just when you think you've kicked the alcohol and all the demons they come creeping back into your life ready to surprise you.

I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill. I just want to move on and not be followed around by stupid drinking bugs .

TroyW

Are they adults or babies? If they're adults, find some fresh, green bay leaves, boil them in a pot of water, and leave that water out.

If they're babies, you're pretty much screwed. Gotta call an exterminator and go on vacation for a few days.

EDIT: Where are the garbage bins / trash collection outside your house? If it's close to your place, maybe see what you can do to move it down the street a little bit. Doesn't take much distance for them to not come around.

rockstonic

Adult. I've never heard of the bay leaf trick. Leave it out where?

Trash is near the front door which is actually right near where I spotted it. We forgot to put the trash out last week so it was sitting out there longer than usual. Good point on moving that further out. Thanks!

Dee74

Cockroaches can live anywhere Rocks.

One roach could just be a rogue one that flew in from somewhere.

In my old place they were really bad - I used those roach motels - pretty cheap and effective.

D

least

I lived with roaches in NYC so I can sympathize with you. Call an exterminator before there are more. Hopefully keep from getting any more.

rockstonic

Thanks Dee and least. I put down traps everywhere. It's really not about the bugs. Like on some level I KNOW that it's not my fault. But it's a visceral reminder of bad drinking things. And I guess it's been awhile since I've been reminded of that.

awuh1

Dust everywhere they can hide with boric acid. Its a non toxic insecticide . Has always worked for me.

Bottom line is that the roaches are not a reflection on you.

Twofish

Dear Rockstonic,
I have no advise on cockroaches, but reading what the others have
suggested, that's a good start.
Prayers that this "bug" doesn't trigger too many bad thoughts. Fight you're
AV within. Sounds like to me, IMO, this is sober drama issue...that alone is
good news. You are not being punished, please try to have hope in this.
TF

TomTom75

Your mind is playing tricks with you. You are doing great. Good luck getting rid of the beasties

TroyW

Doesn't matter. Just make sure the bay leaves are large, green, and fresh. Doesn't matter where you leave it, as you just want the smell to permeate your house / residence, hence the leaves need to be fresh.