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Why are these boards so anonymous?

Old 08-19-2004, 01:26 PM
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FOOLISH MAN
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Why are these boards so anonymous?

Hi All,

Just wondering, why does it appear that no one wants to put their face to their names, I have made a realisation of the mess I made, I am not ashamed to admit it, I may want to disguise it! but take a look it is me! The Foolish Man.


Solace.
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Old 08-19-2004, 01:39 PM
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Welcome Solace,

Here I am, as close as I can get. I'm not ashamed to show my face. My past is my past. Today I'm working towards my future.

Talia
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Old 08-19-2004, 01:45 PM
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An Addict name Jerome.......
 
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Welcome Solace, people say I look a lot like Mel Gebson. I don't know, what do you think. Glad you're here and keep posting......Peace
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Old 08-19-2004, 01:48 PM
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Hey Solace, way to go on the 17 days of sobriety!

One of the things that I've learned in my time in the rooms of AA is that while we need to speak ***all*** of our truth to God and another human being (or beings), there are different times and places to bear witness to different parts of our truth. Sometimes it helps to have a totally anonymous forum - while these are real relationships which we form here, this space can be safer for some of us (or for some of our issues) than face-to-face meetings or sponsors.

For example, I've run into real trouble with my ex-sponsor. This is the only place where I've been able to tell the story coherently, because my f2f meetings bring me into contact with people who may know my ex-sponsor. Telling that story in f2f meetings could put both of our recoveries at risk; not telling it at all will put my recovery at risk.

That's my reason for hiding behind a pair of affectionate penguins.
James

Last edited by shyQcodep; 08-19-2004 at 01:53 PM. Reason: exercising that perfectionism character defect
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Old 08-19-2004, 02:07 PM
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Chy
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I was a closet drinker and now I'm a closet AAer. My past is nobody's business, and this is a medium for many to feel safe discussing their various situations without really facing anyone.

Some are okay with it, some are not. For those that are not, we to the best of ability help them maintain their anonymity, it's a matter of choice.

You said in an earlier post you had a child, would you want him to read what you've already shared, seeing your picture attached? Sorta, like that.
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Old 08-19-2004, 02:24 PM
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I'm with Chy on that one. This is something I do not want people to know about me, unless I choose to tell them (and that is almost never). I've heard comments that people make about alcoholics, especially female alcoholics, and we're only slightly above child-predators in the eyes of many 'normal' folks.

I hope that one day, people will be educated, and become understanding of addiction, but until then I'll remain anonymous.

Love, Anna
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Old 08-19-2004, 02:31 PM
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Hey. I look like my avatar. Really.

Actually, the only reason I don't put my face up there is because I don't have any good pics.
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Old 08-19-2004, 02:54 PM
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FOOLISH MAN
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To be fair I am a million miles (in a sense, distance anyway from you all) away from the homes of most of you, if I walked past you in the street you would not put 2+2 together! would You?

A disguise can be simple yet effective, but it would be nice to know people are real, my problem is real! it may be my past but then again it may STILL be my future!

Most people don't live in the real world, is anonimity still part of denial?

When on cocaine I was not in the real world, yet the real world was all around me! I am at the moment clean and I intend to stay that way, I am alone on this planet as of now anyway, tomorrow is another day, yet it may be just like today!
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Old 08-19-2004, 04:37 PM
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To be fair I am a million miles (in a sense, distance anyway from you all) away from the homes of most of you, if I walked past you in the street you would not put 2+2 together! would You?
No, because I don't now what you look like. You haven't shown your face. Anonimity is a choice offered to all. You choose what you choose.

is anonimity still part of denial?
Not denial, but of prejudices and judgements from others.
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Old 08-19-2004, 04:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Solace
Most people don't live in the real world, is anonimity still part of denial?
I live in the real world sober today. For me my anonymity is no way connected to denial!
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Old 08-19-2004, 04:55 PM
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So solace where is your picture? I made one of myself as close as I could get and many others have too....
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Old 08-19-2004, 05:20 PM
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FOOLISH MAN
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My picture is in my profile, just blanked out my eyes, because to be honest at the moment I am lost and I cannot see!
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Old 08-19-2004, 05:58 PM
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anonymous is so people don't feel threatened.
One wall we don't need to deal with when we first start to seek answers.
As to putting up the real me... you see the back of my real bike in my picture.
If you ever are in Boston area and see that bike, you will see me or someone who took the bike without asking *LOL*
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Old 08-19-2004, 06:05 PM
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Solace, your posts are filled with alot of pain. We are no strangers to pain. We've all been where you're at, hurting and confused. How can we help?

Talia
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Old 08-19-2004, 06:19 PM
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Solace, I don't think anonimity is denial. I do know that I hate the part of my life that is alcohol (not for the past 11 days however) and when I'm on this site, I work through it. When I'm done and I'm at the grocery store or at the beach - I DON'T talk about it. I go on living and trying not to make my alcoholism the thing that defines me. That is why I so like being anonymous. I understand your questioning it, however, and am glad you brought it up because I never looked at it that way before. Your opinion is certainly valid. Love, Kit
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Old 08-19-2004, 06:58 PM
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FOOLISH MAN
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I am not here to upset anyone I am only looking for answers to my situation. Drugs confuse people!

I am confused behond belief.

My pain is only 17 days old.

My apologies if I offend!
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Old 08-19-2004, 07:45 PM
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I'm glad you found this site, it's good to share with others. We all have a history and most of it isn't very pretty. We recogonize your pain and want to offer support and compassion. No offense taken. I hope things smooth out for you, keep coming back. It is very confusing when one first gets off their drug of choice. Add a broken heart to the mix...well no need to say more. I will keep you in my thoughts. It's strange...we're worlds apart, yet share a common bond. The bond of feeling another addicts pain. It's an undertanding normies don't have. By the way I'm Talia, an alcoholic. I hope we can help answer some of your questions. Peace be with you...

Talia
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Old 08-19-2004, 07:46 PM
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Solace, The world I live in is a real illusion. What does it matter? Any way it is all just a mirage. Just sub-atomic particles and electrical energy ect.... Real is just ones perception of that information. Real is mostly empty space.

Last edited by kckman; 08-19-2004 at 07:47 PM. Reason: mispell
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Old 08-19-2004, 08:18 PM
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Hi Solace,

Thanks for sharing. I noticed with my own recovery that the more I focus on myself and my choices the more I learn about myself. The more I learn about myself the more I grow and have oppprtunity to love myself. I am less interested in what others do now since I can only control myself. Why not capitalize on your sobriety and accept people for what they can give. When I questions others for their choices and behaviours I am putting the same expectation on myself. Almost as though I am not letting myself be me and letting others be who they are. I have been so much happier since I have let go of trying to figure out everyone else. I love the feeling of freedom I feel. You are as free as a bird if you want to be. You just need to decide to fly.
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Old 08-19-2004, 10:53 PM
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**{LOL}}}} Hi there, Solace...I wish I could come up with a complicated answer for you to contemplate on. But the truth of it is...which it sounds like you're looking for some truth here...is that

#1 I became bored with creating an avatar that doesn't look like me
#2 I'm too lazy to create an avatar that looks like me
#3 I don't care if anyone knows what I look like

HOWEVER...any chance we can see you in the real?
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