I could never cross 30 days, that was the milestone I couldn't achieve
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
I could never cross 30 days, that was the milestone I couldn't achieve
I thought that for so long, no matter what I did I couldn't do 30 days. It was impossible. I mean I said I wanted to stop, and I think deep down I wanted to stop, but I didn't really stop. Then I really fooled myself, I can moderate, and I did moderate. I moderated all 12 to 15 beers a day, because after all I was drinking over 20 before so 12 was good. This habit is very cunning and its funny what an alcoholic mind can rationalize.
You know, I always thought that if I could make 30 days, I would have some sort of epiphany. Suddenly the weight would be lifted off me and i'd be free. That too was mirage my mind tricked me into thinking. Now that I am at 30+ days, I still want to drink at times. Its way easier to say no now though, but I've come to the realization to stay sober it requires effort and living in the moment everyday.
Oh and support, this go around I found support lots of support. Local, on the internet, youtube videos, any place there was support I sought after it.....
So I don't know, I can only say I want to be sober. Its funny I thought 30 days was a magic number. Truth is there is no magic number, the magic number is stay sober this moment I suppose. Just thoughts for the night, but any how I made 30 days and just wanted to say I am glad I did never thought I would be here! Good night thanks for reading.
You know, I always thought that if I could make 30 days, I would have some sort of epiphany. Suddenly the weight would be lifted off me and i'd be free. That too was mirage my mind tricked me into thinking. Now that I am at 30+ days, I still want to drink at times. Its way easier to say no now though, but I've come to the realization to stay sober it requires effort and living in the moment everyday.
Oh and support, this go around I found support lots of support. Local, on the internet, youtube videos, any place there was support I sought after it.....
So I don't know, I can only say I want to be sober. Its funny I thought 30 days was a magic number. Truth is there is no magic number, the magic number is stay sober this moment I suppose. Just thoughts for the night, but any how I made 30 days and just wanted to say I am glad I did never thought I would be here! Good night thanks for reading.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Congrats, bud! 30 days is great! No, there's no "magic number" but it's kind of like going to the gym. There's nothing magical about benching 175 but it feels great. And it makes you want to bench 180. Then 185...
The longer I'm at SR the more I realize there are lots of different kind of drinkers. I started out as a binge drinker in my youth, and as I got older my binges became daily binges. Eventually I started to get headaches if I didn't drink within an hour of my usual start time. But as dependent as I was at least psychologically on booze once I found AVRT and made my Big Plan I had very little temptation to drink again. It's weird. In my mind I know it would be a blast to drink a few bottles of wine but I instantly "play the tape to the end" and stop that fantasy in its tracks.
The point I'm trying to make is that I wish there was a point where cravings magically went away. There was for me but it seems to be different for everyone.
Maybe the old AA adage has some truth to it- one day at a time.
The longer I'm at SR the more I realize there are lots of different kind of drinkers. I started out as a binge drinker in my youth, and as I got older my binges became daily binges. Eventually I started to get headaches if I didn't drink within an hour of my usual start time. But as dependent as I was at least psychologically on booze once I found AVRT and made my Big Plan I had very little temptation to drink again. It's weird. In my mind I know it would be a blast to drink a few bottles of wine but I instantly "play the tape to the end" and stop that fantasy in its tracks.
The point I'm trying to make is that I wish there was a point where cravings magically went away. There was for me but it seems to be different for everyone.
Maybe the old AA adage has some truth to it- one day at a time.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
haha thank you guys, I am a newbie to sobriety. I have nothing to offer other than an opinion and the way I feel, but right now I feel good, and I am doing whatever I can to stay sober. From London to Australia I love the support Dee and Sober and Myth not sure where you are from, but I am glad you are here. Thank you guys, girls it means the world to me that after all my BS people are still here.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Nice work on 30 and recognizing that a given number or achievement is generally not going to cause an epiphany.
Its common for folks to look for outside influences or events in pursuit of happiness, contentedness, or inner peace. (i.e.. I'll be happy just as soon as I get a new job, buy a new car, find a new relationship, achieve a given number of sober days).
I wish you the courage to continue to find success in the pursuit of your goals (the journey) just as much as in the achievement.
Its common for folks to look for outside influences or events in pursuit of happiness, contentedness, or inner peace. (i.e.. I'll be happy just as soon as I get a new job, buy a new car, find a new relationship, achieve a given number of sober days).
I wish you the courage to continue to find success in the pursuit of your goals (the journey) just as much as in the achievement.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Really nice to see that things are getting better for you Jeremy. Your most recent posts are very different than the ones you used to post. Sounds like your making a sincere effort to make positive changes in your life. A better future is out there waiting for you. Go for it!!!!!!!!!!!! John
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
I am feeling a lot better, things are gradually getting better. Day to day is rough at times. Things I never thought could be tempting are tempting at times, IE I tried to cook with vanilla extract and just a little whiff of the alcohol sent me into a craving nitemare.
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