MarathonMan

Thomas - I was pretty competetive a few years ago 1.14 for a half and 2.34 for the marathon. Sadly not that person anymore but only 29 so hopefully a few good times left in me yet. Although with a baby now not sure the 100+ mile weeks would fit.

Heartcore - yes I also remember jdooners problems and that is what prompted me to look into it, the really good policies have really stringent terms and conditions. I hope he is still doing well as he was the first person to talk to me on thism site, he took me under his wing a bit and I always felt I let him down a bit when I relapsed around 4 months. Same way I always feel bad talking to you after my many relapses.

PurpleKnight

You can do this MarathonMan!!

Hawkeye13

If you can run marathons, you can get through this pain.

Though I feel for you. Withdrawals really suck.

But so does running 26 miles in a row

Keep going forward MM--you have a chance here so take it--

heartcore

Hey MM ... You aren't "letting anyone down" amongst us if you relapse... I've been in & out of sobriety my whole adult life!

It would feel like more of a let down if you just disappeared into your alcoholism! I, for one, feel really connected to hoping that you make it. I love this community. It changed my complicated relationship with alcohol from being a personal problem to being a shared group experience - we are all getting sober here together! In a group! From all over the world!

Sometimes it blows my mind. I have an international community of friends that I can turn to at every stage & with any issue in my recovery. How fabulous is that!

So, MM, keep throwing yourself forward. You are part of my close community of cyber recovery & I care a lot what happens to you.

Gonnachange

Glad that your wife is back and that not only can she see what you're going through, but be there for support.

FYI, I'm a marathoner also and am presently wearing my shirt from the 2009 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania marathon. Running 26.2 miles is a tough way to earn a shirt, but if I have them I'm going to wear them. :-)

MarathonMan

Gonnachange! - lol....youre right its one hell of a hard way to earn a shirt.

EndGameNYC

Yes. And being an alcoholic is one helluva way to "earn" sobriety.

Arbor

Good to read your posts again MM. Sorry your not in a better place at the moment. You say you had two years sobriety under your belt. I know why you would try picking up again (we all do right?) How did you let it get so out of hand again? I'm six months in and sometimes think I could have a few on rare occasions and leave it. Like that I could stop the cycle from happening again at any moment. I'm stronger, wiser now BS...

MarathonMan

Arbor - I had 2.5 years and was mega fit and mega focused. I went on a business trip in May 2012 and the chap I was travelling with told me it was ok just never do it in the UK. I was weak and went along with it. In all honest it probably took a year and a half to get back to my worst...i thought I could handle it and just needed a reset. have been drinking around 30 bottles of beer per night....put in 30lbs in the last 6 months, not run for 3 months. If you're like me you'll never be saved unless you stay sober.

When I went on that business trip I was a hundred percent sure I had moved on and was a differrent person....im now fighting for my marriage and scared the detox might do me in.

6 months is awesome, stay the course, it can be boring but you'll never regret not drinking. I would gibve anything to be where you are, you should be really proud mof your acheivement.

Pouncer

Thanks for the inspiration, Marathon Man. I hope you feel better very soon.

This thread inspired me to grab my trail shoes and gaiters and trail run. Really out of shape. I have to start with interval training, first.

MarathonMan

Pouncer - love to run out in the trails and the forest. We have an area called the jurrasic coast in the uk. Its beautiful along the coast all rugged cliffs and beaches. I had a running holiday there for a week and it was fantastic.

In other new started dry heaving now, think they're dry as ive not dared eat all day.

Stay strong and get those trainers on

Soberwolf

Congrats on day 2 & congrats for day 3 bud

thomas11

MM you under 3 hrs for a marathon? that's way impressive. Good for you. Hope you are feeling a bit better.

Hevyn

This can be the last time you put yourself through this misery MM. 2 days is great progress.

Arbor

Thanks MM. You seem like a really smart guy. If I could offer anything to you it would be to join a class here on SR. When I first joined SR it took me a year to commit to a class. Once I did it changed everything. Longest stretch of sobriety I've had to date. How else would I have gotten over a thousand posts? I'm not that profound.

MarathonMan

Im halfway through day 3. just managed to get an hours sleep which has helped a but, I still feel pretty dreadful. Keep getting pretty bad stomach cramps which is a new one for me.....also i feel really itchy which is wierd almost like a spiders or something is crawling on me.

Arbor - ive joined the april thread so agree on that. Im going to go back to AA when im ready to leave the house but not sure its a good fit, the steps are very religious and im not, I know people say you dont need religion but without it some of the steps dont make sense. Dont know if I can work the steps because of that andv unfortunately no other groups in my area.

Mark1014

Been following you a while 'behind the scenes' and want to take a moment to encourage you . I'm almost 20 years older than you and am just now getting my act together. So much time given over to alcohol....

Youth is on your side and you've so many happy memories to make. Never give up!

MarathonMan

I drank, she left....i hope this binge kills me, I dont deserve to live.

Gonnachange

Yes, you DO deserve to live. Is there anyone you can call for support? A friend, relative, or if you are suicidal the suicide hotline?

MarathonMan

Finally ready to give in, told my wife she's right to leave and im going to fulfill my very depressing destiny.