GroundhogDay

You sound good, MM. Welcome back! Stick to your plan.

Foolsgold186

You can do this. Congratulations on day 10.

Here's to your new sober life!

heartcore

Welcome home, MM.

I am so happy that you allowed yourself to be supported by going through medical detox.
(and I'm glad that it wasn't a black-and-white movie scene from the 1940s, with heavy leather straps around your wrists and a lady in the next room who won't stop screaming...). I think maybe you and I watch too many movies!

All is well and all will be well and now that you are well, things just feel right all around...

RobbyRobot

Good to hear of this Marathon. I'm sure your wife can readily see you're different following the medical assisted detox and so on. It's amazing what even a week and more can do without alcohol. Glad you saw your son and wife.

Keep at it, the staying quit, yeah? You'll likely have some personal challenges. No matter. great opportunities to advance and establish some awesome personal bests!!

Nice achievement with the detox and rehab stay, Marathon.

MarathonMan

Re hab cost 4k... wife r ang and said she is serving me with divorce papers and expects the 4k to come out of my share of the money....not what I expected. Why would a man stay sober when he's losing everything.....not been drinking but feel in a tough spot for optimism right now.

Dee74

I'm sorry MM - I know this must be hard.
Stay sober for yourself - you're down but not out...drinking again really would be losing everything...right?

D

heartcore

"Why would a man stay sober when he's losing everything.....?"

Because you haven't lost everything. You're being threatened with divorce. Many of us have experienced and survived divorce. But you do have legal rights to relationship with your son, even if you are divorced by your wife.

By staying sober, you will have the opportunity to co-parent. You will have a lifelong relationship with your son. It will be far far more important than any relationship you can have with a woman/wife.

And 4K in the grand scheme of things is peanuts and a day at the zoo... If that allows you the healthy start you need to a lifelong sobriety, which in turn allows you to develop a lifelong relationship with your son, then it is simply the cost of doing business...

MarathonMan

Dee- I thnk iim down and out, everything I wanted is being taken from me and everything im saying just bounces off her, she wont even give me a chance to talk.

MarathonMan

Heartcore - thank you, I know youre lodgic is good....im so, so sad.....maybe a better day tomorrow.

Sasha4

Give her some time.

Show her you are trying to work hard at getting better.

Its not easy walking away when children are involved. I'm sure some of the things she is saying is in anger.
If she was truly done and dusted with you, I doubt she would have showed up unannounced, like she did. She would have stayed away.

I know I have done that myself -threatened things in anger, but never carried them through. In time we all calm down eventually.

For goodness sake, don't drink over it.
That will just cause more ill feeling for both of you and that will be a true waste of the money rehab cost.

Life is not a Disney film.
She was probably never going to skip into your arms the minute you got out of rehab and smile and say everything is okay and she is relieved you are home.

Just take it minute by minute.
Keep close to your support here.
Try keep busy if you can and don't be alone at home too often.

I wish you the best xx

Soberwolf

MM i feel for you i really do this reminds me when i lost it all inc my gf of 15 years i was beat there was nothing else to take but my life & i had already narrowly escaped death it was a desprate time

I had nothing left & knew i had to change

I want you to know you can pm anytime you want and i swear to you by staying sober slowly life will improve as for ppl trusting you (your wife) that takes time but is ultimately possible with sustained sober time

Were all here for you rootin for you

Congrats on 10 days MM & hopefully spk soon

breath

Recognize you have a choice, and if so many of us have crawled back from the edge you can as well...you aren't that different.

Hevyn

MM - You can rise above all the troubles and have a good life - being sober is so important right now. You're not alone, we're with you.

RobbyRobot

Sorry to hear your wife is playing hard with her anger. You know staying quit is always your best chance of no matter what is or isn't working out otherwise.

Yeah, it is a tough place to see optimism on the menu, still though, its there for the taking. Things like marriage breakups are always in flux. Don't belly up to whatever threats are directed at you. She has a right to be angry. So do you, just for different reasons, yeah? Stay calm.

There really are better days ahead when you keep quit. Staying sober isn't a reward earned if your life is all wonderful. Staying sober is so you have opportunities to get your life straightened out and sorted no matter what is happening or not happening around you.

Drinking, as you know from firsthand experience, doesn't make the hurt go away. We all know that. Don't fall for that crap.

With all that said, sorry things are rough.

Dee74

There's some great advice here MM. As sad as you are, things are not as hopeless as they could be.

Remember that - don't make long term decisions on the way you feel today, ok?

D

MarathonMan

Thanks for the advice all, didn't drink over it and never intended to, just carrying a lot of baggage currently. I think tonight I'm going to go for my first run in about 3 months, although really unfit it should make me feel better.....then I'll hit a meeting.

MarathonMan

Doctors this morning but unfortunately couldnt get the antabuse, have been referred to drug and alcohol department and have got
to have bloods done next thursday to check my liver function....seems its just me and my willpower until they fit me in. Bit scared about the bloods but no use hiding from these things.

ZaBoozer

Hey MM,

I am going through something similar to you at the moment. While not divorced, my wife has separated from me because of the booze. All I can say is that if I didn't stop I would be dead.

The feelings you are going to experience now that you are sober are so much more intense. But being sober will help you to see things clearly and to think rationally about what you do.

I think your wife is very hurt by your past behaviour and that it itself is very difficult to fix. Take it one day at a time. Work on your sobriety. With that comes self control. I do have a thread running, that I have documented day by day how I felt physically, mentally and emotionally. Maybe have a look.

For now though, get and stay sober. If you do happen to get divorced, your son is going to need a sober mature father more than what he would have need for a drunk.

Cheers

ZAB

MarathonMan

Day 12 - feeling pretty positive today, had a pretty constructive coversation with my wife earlier. I asked her to hold off for a month with divorce papers and give me a chance to prove that this could be our beginning and not our ending. She didnt commit to that but she also didnt tell me to sod off. Maybe ive got a chance to allow my actions to speak. I also told her to move back into the house and I'll go and stay elsewhere which I think she appreciates. Shes bringing the baby round later and then im officially of no fixed abode for the time being at least.

Went and did my first run of my new sober career about an hour ago. Managed 8 miles in a 7.35 pace with two brief stops. Used to do my normal runs about 45 seconds a mile faster with no breaks. Instead of that making me feel down it kind of felt good to know I can now get stuck in and start improving again.

Nothing is fixed so far but things are feeling a bit better,mor maybe the initial despair is starting to lift, either way I don't care things are better than they were yesterday.

LBrain

don't give up or give in MM. Make this work for you.

now if I can get to under 12 minutes for a mile...