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-   -   3 months and still confused. :) (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/363590-3-months-still-confused.html)

aistar 03-31-2015 03:26 PM

3 months and still confused. :)
 
Today I have 90 days without alcohol. I'm not sure if I am sober or doing it right..I went to a meeting the other day.still have mood swings and I'm kinda confused.sometimes I feel so lonely and sometimes I am hopeful.the thing that I am sure about is my sobriety is really important for me.I won't give up until the good thing start to happen. Thank you SR team for your support and sharing your stories and experience.You are all my family.
:ring

Dee74 03-31-2015 03:30 PM

Thats all pretty normal as far as I experienced it aistar - you should see a little more clarity and emotional consistency from here on in tho, I think? :)

D

Justincredible 03-31-2015 03:54 PM

Congrats aistar! I agree with Dee, you should start to see some improvements and levelling of moods. I am a few days short of 4 months and was expecting more at this point but at the same time I would not trade it for drinking.

Nowsthetime 03-31-2015 03:58 PM

Three months is great!!! Sobriety being important to us is very much key to our success. Thanks for keeping us posted and keep trucking, thinngs are still leveling out.

Anna 03-31-2015 04:22 PM

Congratulations on 3 months sober. It sounds like you're doing pretty well.

Inchworm 03-31-2015 04:26 PM

As long as you're sober, you're doing it right, ai. There are a lot of feelings, though, aren't there?

Suzieq17 03-31-2015 04:30 PM

Congrats on 3 months!!!

Around that time, I broke down to my hubby and had an emotional meltdown. We had a good chat, and I have felt better and stronger since then.

I think it will level out soon for you. :-)

EndGameNYC 03-31-2015 05:08 PM

It's both ironic and somewhat cruel that that it takes time to get to a noticeably better place in sobriety, and that time is also the one thing we absolutely cannot get back after we put down the drink.

No matter how difficult things got for me in early sobriety, I was determined not to return to what had become a wasted life with nothing to look forward to but death.

At ninety days, I hadn't yet started to take my sobriety seriously. I don't recall exactly when things changed for the better, though I think that it may have been up to a full year.

One of the most heartbreaking experiences for me on SR is when people either give up too quickly and/or do very little to improve their lives or strengthen their sobriety, and then return to their drinking after several months or longer because very little has changed for them.

This is about life and death, and anyone can do it. Though it sometimes may seem as though it's amazing that anyone achieves sobriety, given all the crap we put between ourselves and living a better life.

Confusion is often a sign of growth or an indication that things are changing for us. If I were confronted with such a choice, I'd much prefer to make decisions while being confused than while drinking. Today I can make decisions when I need to, despite or as a result of my emotional state -- which is generally even, and not at all the same as "neutral" -- and without torturing myself over the possible outcomes. For me, clarity came only after I put down the drink, only after I began working on my sobriety, on my life. And it never follows my timetable.

The Universe was never intended to fulfill my every need or every desire. It's not capable on its own of providing me with safety, security or happiness. And it is relentlessly indifferent to love. The only guarantee that existence grants me is that there will always be consequences for whatever it is that I do or don't do. And that there will be suffering. It is through this stark indifference, this manifest sense of existential insecurity in an indifferent Universe, and in my suffering and the suffering of other people that I discover meaning.

Every time I type this out, or some version of it, I am again convinced that I'm exactly where I need to be.

Stay together. Alone and together.

Upward2Enlightenment 03-31-2015 06:20 PM

Congrats on 90 days aistar.

If you are worried about your mood swings and stuff you may want to go to a doctor just to get a check up. In all honesty I'm coming up on 1 year and still get mood swings from time to time. Just don't give up.

Della1968 03-31-2015 06:29 PM

Hi I will have 90 days Sunday and have come to realize I am just moody. I was before I drank was worse when I drank and will probably continue to be sober. When I am happy I am REALLY happy and when I am sad I am REALLY sad. Just the way I am. I just roll with it much better sober.

cusper 03-31-2015 10:03 PM

Congratulations on 90 days!! I remember the first 3 months being pretty difficult. If you ever want to read some of my threads I was still having issues until even over a year. Although there was a bit of a turning point around 3 months. The mood swings still carried on for a few more months after that. In fact now I think the moodiness I experience is just me now but it was nothing like the first several months of sobriety. Keep going. It may seem challenging right now but you will just gradually feel better. I'm sure other people have already told you but what you eat is really important. Sugar can really play a big role in moodiness. Or excess caffeine. Both of which I indulged in after quitting. But small changes every day will add up. You body and your brain are going through massive adjustments, it will take time. But I think at 90 days you are over the acute phase and it will get better!

cusper 03-31-2015 10:04 PM

sorry posted twice

aistar 04-01-2015 12:47 AM

Thank you for your support.I am agree with all of you and I understand how important it is not to give up.
screwdUpinDe-I am already on medication for depression and anxiety.I take 50 mg amitriptyline every night.
:ring

Foolsgold186 04-01-2015 02:18 AM

Well done on 90 days.

I was very up and down for months getting sober. Somedays I still am, things begin to even out as time goes on.

Soberwolf 04-01-2015 04:07 AM

Congrats on 90 days


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