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two months, one sip...failure

Old 03-29-2015, 04:18 PM
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two months, one sip...failure

I was so close to having 2 months. Just two more days, but if im honest. Completely honest. I failed. I drank this afternoon while out with friends. I had no idea alcohol would be present, no way to prepare and so I caved when offered. I didn't get drunk, in fact i only had a sip! Which probably sounds pathetic still, but usually I would have had the whole damn bottle and then some and I wanted to -god I wanted to, but I left. I went back home and picked up some Ben and Jerry's. But its still there. That craving. I can't get it out of my head. I came home and immediately started planning on how I could get my hands on some. Guess being underage has its up sides, but feeling in the pits on all levels right now. :/
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Old 03-29-2015, 04:23 PM
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Try to stay focused DD have you got a sober plan to me its vital to recovery
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Old 03-29-2015, 04:26 PM
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Hi dinos. I think failure is a loaded word.
Look at this as an opportunity to beef up your recovery plan.

You need a plan for the unexpected, because the unexpected always happens

what have you been doing for your recovery so far?

D
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Old 03-29-2015, 04:56 PM
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Two months sober is great, so be pleased that you have accomplished that. You learned that, to some extent, you need to be prepared when you are out that alcohol could be there. Next time you can be ready.
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Old 03-29-2015, 05:09 PM
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Failure???

I would say that's a huge success! If you failed, you'd most likely either still be sitting at the bar / party right now, or sitting at home with a bottle. You didn't though. You had one sip, realized what was happening, and you left.

I don't know about you, but I would call that a resounding success, and you deserve to give yourself a pat on the back for it.
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Old 03-29-2015, 05:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Hi dinos. I think failure is a loaded word.
Look at this as an opportunity to beef up your recovery plan.

You need a plan for the unexpected, because the unexpected always happens

what have you been doing for your recovery so far?

D
Don't really have a recovery plan. I've been to a few aa meetings but felt really out of place. I've been so sick most of the time I've been sober that I haven't been able to really do anything but lay around. I've only just started feeling better this week really.

I know it sounds bad but I'm really tempted to just say eff it and start drinking again. I can't stop thinking about it.
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Old 03-29-2015, 05:26 PM
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I don't know how to say no. To alcohol or anything else in my life. Especially alcohol. How do I say no when everything inside of me is screaming for a drink?
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Old 03-29-2015, 05:33 PM
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Originally Posted by drinkingdinos View Post
I don't know how to say no. To alcohol or anything else in my life. Especially alcohol. How do I say no when everything inside of me is screaming for a drink?
You just say 'no'. Not easy but simple. You don't let the addict part of you have control. You say NO. And mean it.

You won't feel this way forever. The cravings will diminish with time and after a while you won't think of drinking at all.
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Old 03-29-2015, 05:34 PM
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Originally Posted by drinkingdinos View Post
I don't know how to say no. To alcohol or anything else in my life. Especially alcohol. How do I say no when everything inside of me is screaming for a drink?
Start with alcohol, then tackle the other things in your life. Don't think you are unique to having everything inside you scream for a drink. We have ALL been there! You can do this. I promise that those screams for a drink will gradually fade away.
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Old 03-29-2015, 06:29 PM
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Originally Posted by drinkingdinos View Post
Don't really have a recovery plan. I've been to a few aa meetings but felt really out of place. I've been so sick most of the time I've been sober that I haven't been able to really do anything but lay around. I've only just started feeling better this week really.

I know it sounds bad but I'm really tempted to just say eff it and start drinking again. I can't stop thinking about it.
Originally Posted by drinkingdinos View Post
I don't know how to say no. To alcohol or anything else in my life. Especially alcohol. How do I say no when everything inside of me is screaming for a drink?
A plans not necessarily about AA or not, although I do think you could use more support.

You need to be ready for those moments when drink will be around. You have to have a raft of tools ready to use.

here are some examples of tools:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

here's some more:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t=101+recovery

You need to make changes in your life and start building a sober life you love so that you have some positive experience of sobriety to counter those moments when you want to say eff it.

You need to examine why you have trouble saying no, and why you're screaming for a drink. 'Because I'm an alcoholic' is not a helpful answer.

Dig deeper...what are you looking for in that drink - to fit in? to escape feelings? to deal with fear?

Basically you'll get out of your recovery what you put in. If you put in very little then chances are you'll drink again...and noone wants that.

Read around - see what other people are doing...find a way that makes sense to you and do it.

Yeah, it's a lot of work and effort - but you're worth it - right?

D
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Old 03-29-2015, 07:46 PM
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How are you a failure? You stopped after a sip. If anything, it shows that you are committed to sobriety. Don't stop counting as if you are day one. Move along your new path and don't beat yourself up.

I would nip whatever told you to sip in the bud, however. Also, you should work on a plan. Mine is like a contingency plan for triggers and stressful situations or emergency cravings. I also have a few proactive steps like exercise, not procrastinating, etc.
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Old 03-29-2015, 08:48 PM
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Doesn't sound like a failure to me, more like a lesson as long as you take it on board. What happened was the offer of a drink came from left field and you had no advance plan to handle it. So many fatal first drinks occur that way.

In my experience it is impossible for an alcoholic of my type to anticipate every situation and have a defence in place every time. It is one of the basics that AA is about, finding a 24/7 defence against the first drink. It goes beyond our human ability to be on guard all the time. At certain times we have no effective defence against the first drink. That defense must come from a higher power.

A friend of mine was at a family function. He was about three months sober. Everything was going well, not a care in the world. Someone offered him a drink. Without a thought he said yeah thanks and almost drank it before his sister noticed and knocked out of his hand. Saved, but not by himself. He was shocked at how close he had come, and how easily it could have happened.

Strange as it may seem, my recovery really kicked off when I gave up trying to not drink, and caught onto the idea that this higher power stuff is the important part of the program, and began trying to develop the relationship that would give me the 24/7 defense. That was 1980, I was 22, and I havnt needed to take a drink since.
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Old 03-29-2015, 10:18 PM
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I am 21 days off today (but must admit I did not hit rock bottom). Last week at Whole Foods tasting had a sip of bubbles and a sip of red. Nothing. Went on to have some cheese samples and moved on with the day. No cravings, nothing. Had a rough weekend and had a thought or two but this was it.
I don't think a sip is a failure. As long as it does not move to times the sip.
I have events coming up soon almost each weekend and will have to determine how to handle it.
Stay strong and be positive
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Old 03-30-2015, 05:13 AM
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Well, I have a massive amount to learn so might be worth taking my contribution with a pinch of salt but...

..I would call this a qualified success! I think your urge to try a drink was pretty close to the surface anyway, otherwise you would have said 'no'. In fact you have managed this slip pretty well so far. Your current high urge is the kind of thinking that happens in early abstinence whether or not you have had a sip so you (and I) need to find ways to deal with it. I wouldn't' invest too much energy in your slip.

Keep investing in your sober life and creating reasons to live sober.

Best wishes to you and, for what it is worth, I admire your honesty!

CC
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Old 03-30-2015, 06:14 AM
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A sip is not nothing for folks like us because it is symptomatic of your thinking and decision making overall and in the moment. You still have some work to do to get where you never take that sip again. Its an opportunity to assess and adjust your plan and a reminder of how easy it is to slip.
BUT, you stopped there! You exercised your sober muscles and turned back from the brink. That is a victory!!! Of course it would be better never to go to that point again, but since it happened, take the positive from it, learn from it and move forward.
Compare your last 2 months including the sip to the 2 months prior to that. Moving in the right direction, yes?
Stay with it
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Old 03-30-2015, 06:35 AM
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Dd i think you should not be so hard on yourself mate. See it like this: I have quit smoking 7 years and 9 months ago a few years back when I wad drunk at new years eve I took a puff of a sigaret to show myself I hate it and even drunk I indeed did. I don't see one puff as failing. I was curious. I know ur saying you have cravings now so i understabd it's different but hey it was only one sip mate you didn't have the whole drink so I think you should get cudos for not drinking the drink!
Hugs and don't beat urself up mate! Life's too short for that focus on the goid things! You only had obe sip didn't drink the rest and dint get drunk
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Old 03-30-2015, 06:42 AM
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Well done on not polishing it all off. I know I would have struggled to walk away.
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Old 03-30-2015, 06:43 AM
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Originally Posted by drinkingdinos View Post

Don't really have a recovery plan. I've been to a few aa meetings but felt really out of place. I've been so sick most of the time I've been sober that I haven't been able to really do anything but lay around. I've only just started feeling better this week really.

I know it sounds bad but I'm really tempted to just say eff it and start drinking again. I can't stop thinking about it.
Do you have a free drug and alcohol service clinic like we have here in Australia? Ours is paid by the government and I'm seeing their psychologist twice a week and their doc on a regular basis. Talking with my psychologist really helps me and we are doing CBD as well. We set up a emergency plan for the wedding shoot I had last week, first exposure to beer since detox.
It really helped me to have that guidance.
In a few weeks when she's back from holidays we are going to work on a long term recovery plan and preparing me for the real world.
Having that plan will make me feel more confident around situatiobs where alcohol will be involved.
Would ir maybe be a great thing for you to do something similar?
I hope you're staying strong mate. 2 months is heaps long! Worth fighting for
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Old 03-30-2015, 06:49 AM
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any thoughts this morning dinos?
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Old 03-30-2015, 08:28 AM
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Thank you all. You are all so kind and helpful. A good nights sleep did wonders for me. I'm still disappointed that it was so easy to pick up without even thinking really. But it is what it is and now I just need to focus on moving forward. I haven't had too many serious cravings in these first two months, but after that sip it's all I can seem to think about. Just trying to keep busy right now. Gonna take a look at the links Dee posted an maybe try to figure out a plan.
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