Struggling on Day 44
Journey of Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 195
Struggling on Day 44
Today is day 45 of my sobriety... And I still have terrible cravings to drink. Almost every part of me wanted succumb to my craving last night. The thoughts started as: "maybe one beer won't hurt - after all its been 44 days", then it started to develop into "I'm going to wait for my boyfriend to go to sleep so I can sneak in a quick sip of vodka without disappointing him", then after he went to bed I started romanticizing about alcohol thinking that I could start drinking again but only at night, and no one will ever have to know - I could be "happy" again..even if it was a little dirty secret.
But I stuck to my sobriety, and I am so fricken proud of myself for it. I was able to be stronger than my addictive voice (AV), and recognize that these thoughts were mere proof that I am in fact an alcoholic, and just because I stopped drinking for over a month (or even when I have more time of sobriety) does not mean I am "cured" of my addiction.
I wanted to thank all of you for helping me because you helped me recognize these terrible thoughts as being my AV. I have seen through these message boards & AA that similar thoughts come up for other alcoholics, and if I wasn't able to recognize it as my AV I might have listened to them.
Thank you
But I stuck to my sobriety, and I am so fricken proud of myself for it. I was able to be stronger than my addictive voice (AV), and recognize that these thoughts were mere proof that I am in fact an alcoholic, and just because I stopped drinking for over a month (or even when I have more time of sobriety) does not mean I am "cured" of my addiction.
I wanted to thank all of you for helping me because you helped me recognize these terrible thoughts as being my AV. I have seen through these message boards & AA that similar thoughts come up for other alcoholics, and if I wasn't able to recognize it as my AV I might have listened to them.
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,228
Thanks for posting, Frixion. I am a month behind you and I used to read posts like yours and think, "that will never be me," all the while being filled with dread and anxiety and not even recognize the dread and anxiety.
It takes constant vigilance. I will probably feel the same way a month or a year down the road. Thanks for being a good influence.
It takes constant vigilance. I will probably feel the same way a month or a year down the road. Thanks for being a good influence.
Journey of Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 195
Originally Posted by Pouncer 
Thanks for posting, Frixion. I am a month behind you and I used to read posts like yours and think, "that will never be me," all the while being filled with dread and anxiety and not even recognize the dread and anxiety.
It takes constant vigilance. I will probably feel the same way a month or a year down the road. Thanks for being a good influence.
It takes constant vigilance. I will probably feel the same way a month or a year down the road. Thanks for being a good influence.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
