Eliasson

i think I mentioned in a previous post that I was afraid of going back to AA because I've failed at sobriety so many times. I went back anyway yesterday. A couple of the women, including my old sponsor, told me that AA wouldn't work for me and I need to go to inpatient rehab. I understand they are trying to help, and with my history, why they would say this. I'm open to it, but in general feel that it's not a viable path for me at this time. Does everyone have to go to rehab to get and stay sober? I want to keep going to AA but am afraid that I won't be accepted unless I "follow their suggestions". I was told if I don't go to rehab it means I don't have willingness and I will fail again.
Honestly, some of this is exactly what made me uneasy with AA in the first place. I know it works for so many, and I really want it to work for me, but I don't want my acceptance back to be conditional on going to inpatient rehab. I don't want this situation to be an excuse for me not to go to meetings either. I'm a people pleaser. I want to do what they say and am embarrassed to show up at meetings without following their direction. What should I do? Find another recovery path? Show up at meetings anyway even if I face their disapproval? I could use some insight please

Inchworm

Hi, Eliasson. I went back and looked at some of your other posts. Maybe what AA folks are telling you is that they acknowledge that they haven't been able to help you as much as you seem to need. There's a lot of things going on in your life including emotional abuse by your husband. Have you thought to see a therapist first? This need not be an inpatient situation. I wish you well, Eliasson.

Eliasson

Yes, thank you, I have an appointment tomorrow with a counselor who specializes in addiction. My plan is to see her regularly, hopefully attend AA meetings, and stick close to SR. I know in general the odds may be against me but I want a different, sober, happy life more than anything. I won't give up.

Bmac

When I first got sober in 1990, I did EVERYTHING I was told not to do. "Stay out of relationships for the first year" I was dating within 6 months. "Stay out of slippery places" I got a job as a bartender.

The ONE thing I did not do was the only thing that mattered, I did not drink under any circumstances. I probably could have saved myself some pain and struggles if I DID listen to their suggestions, but I chose my path and did not drink.

Do what you feel is best for you. Just don't pick up under any circumstances. Everything else will fall into place.

readerbaby71

Talk to your addiction counselor about it. Maybe find a new home group and sponsor. If rehab is not viable for you right now, AA can offer some of the support you need. Have you tried Women for Sobriety? I found it much more empowering and less judgmental.

Latte

Like Bmac, I did a lot of what I was told not to do. However, as long as I don't use drugs or alcohol my life seems to fall in to place. I'm not scared all the darn time. I still have problems. Today, what I don't have, is dependance on mind altering substances. Somehow I know everything will be ok if I just don't pick up-no matter what. I will go down like a lead balloon if I do. It doesn't take but that one time for it to all go to he**

Anna

No one knows, and no one can tell you if you are going to fail or succeed. That's up to you, so I wouldn't pay too much attention to anyone who make pronouncements like that. I assume that they mean well, but you know what will work for you.

When you talk about people-pleasing, that was my problem too and one of the reasons I began drinking. I had lost myself in my attempts to keep everyone else happy. So, in recovery, I instinctively knew that I had to do what I believed would work for me. I think it's great to listen to other people's suggestions and consider them. But, do what you want to do to get and stay sober.

Soberwolf

Congrats on day 2 bud