Spacegoat

Right there with you and the thought of drinking has been crossing my mind.

But I don't think it will make me any better and I imagine you are the same. Peace

Anna

Pat, look at the outpouring of love and caring on this thread for you.

I hope that means something to you.

Calitano

Thinking of you. And remembering your support when I was first here… It helped.

Thepatman

I understand the tough love. But it feeds the hulk. I am mad right now. Like a child, when this feeling comes Out I break things. And you know what? When It comes out I loose it and it feels like home. My anger is relentless.

ArtFriend

What are you angry about?

FreeOwl

It wasn't tough love, it was just straight talk.

Also; anger is understandable. Anger is human. Anger is normal. Anger happens.

Beneath anger is often fear, pain, shame....

It's OK to swell with anger.... what you do with that anger is what's important.

What healthy ways can you think of that you might be able to channel that anger into?

Anger isn't 'home' - it's just an emotional response to thoughts and feelings that have arisen in us.

You can work with that anger positively or you can let it own you.

Which do you really want?

Venecia

Pat,

You are and have been a good friend to countless people here. I take a lot of strength and wisdom from you. People see a good man in you -- and that is a genuine. It cannot be faked.

Whatever is hurting you -- and something is clearly hurting badly -- can be conquered. You've got a whole army here on your side.

Stay.

SoberLeigh

^^^^^ This.

Soberwolf

Hi Patman we've been good friends a while now and i know your at your happiest sober

you know that too regroup get back on the wagon and add a few things to your sober plan and possibly anger management i really suggest you read the chimp paradox by steve peters i think its a exellent book that will help with stuff

here for you always brother you know you can do this kick the av to the kerb

ArtFriend

Helps to talk about your anger and diffuse it. Tell hulk to take a hike.

INgal

Patman, I have no idea who you are and what you've been through. But I can tell without a doubt that you are good to the core. I have quoted you to my son, who struggles. If he did half as well as you have over these last months, I would be the proudest mom in the world. We all want the best for you. Allow yourself to experience it.

EndGameNYC

As is true of many of us, when we drink, we want to go away, disappear. But when we're sober, we take better care of ourselves, we learn to value our lives.

Don't underestimate your resourcefulness, your ability to accept and use help and support, and the difference you make when you reach out to other people who are struggling.

This episode doesn't need to be wasted, to be the end of everything that's good, and can instead be the beginning of something wonderful.

Bmac

Patman, you know I don't have to tell you that all emotion begins with a thought. You know this. You've lived it and you know you have control over your thoughts. CHANGE THEM! You are not lost and NEVER alone.

GroundhogDay

Please don't leave, don't give up.

Kris47

Heh Patrick,

I came in SR on Jan 2014 and you were one of the first to say hello and tell me how I could get sober. I have watched you and listened to your great shares. I am no spring chicken and relapsed over and over again......... but that January I had hope given to me from you and the others here. It worked this time! I had a hard time just like you after several months time and again. You do this til you get it right. You will by the Grace of God or by whatever means you need to work it. I never used AA before either but I added it to my arsenal and it worked. SR works, too. No one thing works but together it can make a world of difference to many like us. It can work for you, too. Check it out. Please. Never, never ever give up. Get to a meeting and give yourself another chance. Get a sponsor, too. We're here for you as well. Sr has been my lifeline when I can't get to a meeting. like everyday, too. Come on friend, WE DO THIS TOGETHER. Whatever it takes!

Kris

Ultramarathoner

I'm not a comic book guy so I can't comment on the Hulk analogy.

And, I've struggled with the words and tone I'd like to strike for a while- unsuccessfully.

So just know I and many others are pulling for you.

Kris47

Okay Friend?!

2muchpain

Patman, I always look forward to your posts. I learn a lot from them. You have been so supportive of everyone here. Remember, that support goes both ways. Your a valued member of SR. This place wouldn't be the same if you left. I really hope you change your mind and keep posting. John

Dee74

I had an immense ball of fear, pain and anger I carried around for many decades.

The only tool I carried with me for that was alcohol - and all alcohol ever did at most was push the pain to one side for an hour or two...and then the pain would return.

Like an abscess the pain never went, but actually grew in the despair of drunkeness.

Then one day the alcohol stopped working at all....

I had to find other tools - I joined SR, I accepted that drinking grew my pain, and I had a little counselling. I did service work.

I wanted better for myself and those who loved me.

I faced my pain fear and anger, terrified...and I realised I'd been experiencing it all for years anyway....

yes, it hurt - but the pain of facing my ball of fear and angel was no more than the pain fear and anger drinking had bought me too.

I survived...and thrived

You're a good guy Pat but you're letting your addiction convince you it's the Hulk when it's nothing of the kind.

If you stop feeding it, you'll soon see how puny weak and insignificant your nemesis really is.

Find another tool Pat. Alcohol doesn't do the job.

D

PurpleKnight

Pat, I'm not going to stop believing in you!!

Go at things again, make those changes to your plan and make Sobriety happen.

I know without a doubt you're happiest when Sober, so don't give alcohol the license again to cause you more misery, draw a line in the sand.

SR is in your corner Pat!!