nymets86

Jeff, I'm having a bit of trouble from ur posts figuring out if you did go to the liquor store and buy more or if you did finish the booze at your house or if you did just call it a night and sleep off what you'd already had.

Anyway, please check in with us. You can do this.

Carlotta

Good morning Jeff. I hope that you are ok this morning and ready to embark on a lifelong sober journey.

Persys

I remember what that desperation feels like and even though you may be sick of people telling you this I'm going to say it anyways: You NEVER have to feel like this again. Find a way to stop. Go to an AA meeting and ask for help. You can stop even if you don't think you can and you can feel good again. Keep posting and keep trying.

thomas11

didn't go to the store, went to bed. Smartest thing I did all day.

sva777

Well hello, Jeff what is your plan for today?

Pouncer

Good morning, Jeff

Howzit hangin? Check in with us when you are feeling better.

thomas11

Hi everyone, I am fine. Little hungover but not dead or dealing with withdrawal. Thank god. no drinking today. Those are the rules around here. I'm trying not to beat myself up too bad. I have a weekend drinking problem, that's just a fact. Like many others, I am fine all week long, don't crave, don't think about booze and I enjoy that. But son of a gun, come Friday, I'm looking to unwind.

I appreciate everyone checking in. Hope you are all having a nice Sunday.

FreeOwl

'Unwind'? Or fall apart.....

Sounds a bit like you're minimizing the issue here friend.

thomas11

There is probably some truth to that.

doggonecarl

Unwinding may have been the intent, but your drinking went beyond that. I hope you can arrest the course that your binging is taking. As many binge drinkers here can attest, those weekend-only parameters get stretched.

thomas11

You're right Carl, I can dwell on what happened yesterday but that does no good. I need to look forward. I need a plan, but not sure how to create it. This site helps alot, it is a constant reminder that alcohol can and will take me down if I let it.

Pouncer

Maybe I am lucky that I was an every day drinker because I have stayed vigilant every day. Don't get complacent on the weekends. You should be on high alert.

You were miserable yesterday. I really don't want to come down hard on you because I know what it feels like, but I have to agree that you weren't undwinding. You were blitzed -- and depressed.

I hope you do this for you, I really do. Every time we (non-moderators) drink we give life to the beast and the beast isn't kind.

doggonecarl

You strike me as a pretty bright guy. Don't let alcohol make you dumb about your recovery. I think you can get started on a plan based on your own drinking and what not to do.

ArtFriend had a good post about goals your first year of recovery. Take a look. I think if your plan addresses meeting those goals, you have a workable plan.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

Then write it down! Commit it to paper, then commit to the plan.

A goal without a plan is just a dream. No one here dreamed themselves sober. They worked at it.

Pouncer

Thanks for posting that Carl. I used that very same post to work on my plan yesterday.

thomas11

"commit it to paper". that strikes a chord with me. It is something I have never done. I think I will dedicate this week to making that happen.

thomas11

Gosh, I must have typed some pretty terrible stuff. I don't recall? Just saying that is really sad isn't it?

Pouncer

You posted about being annoyed with a minor argument with your wife, then came back to say it was nothing...minimized it. Then you came back to apologize, which you needn't have. Then after that you posted that you were drinking and needed to stop.

I am not a psychologist, but what I know is that I have done all those things. I get angry, then stifle my feeling, then apologize because I am embarrassed, then drink. I think every addict here on SR has or had the same reaction to emotional triggers. That is the root of it all, Thomas. That should be your plan of attack.

My plan is divided in two between proactive and reactive measures. Maybe start with that? Hope you feel better today.

doggonecarl

Reduce your plan to writing...The moment you complete this, you will have definitely given concrete form to the intangible desire.
--Napoleon Hill

He wasn't writing about sobriety. But he could have been. Work on your plan. But have it done by Thursday so you can implement it by Friday.

Carlotta

Since Week Ends are an issue, you might get some additional support on Weasel1966 thread. He used to be a week end warrior like you but has now good sobriety.
He performs that very useful service everyweek end. If you look around on Friday's or Pm him you can find it.
Here is this week end's
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-until-22.html

thomas11

The reality of the situation is this: I need to stop acting like a child. get drunk, act like I'm 18 again, which I'm not. I'm an adult, and need to start acting like one.