Prescriptions/Medication/Medical Marijuana/Depression
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6
Prescriptions/Medication/Medical Marijuana/Depression
I am an alcoholic (32), new to the steps/recovery.
I have struggled with managing my alcoholism on my own for about the past 12 years.
I started drinking when I turned 20. I did not drink when I was in Highschool like my friends.
I have always suffered from manic depression, bipolar mood swings etc. They told me I did from a very early age...before I started drinking etc. Apparently it runs in the family.
I did try to commit suicide when I was 14.
From 14 to about 23 I was put on sooo many pill meds (prozac, zoloft, depacote, etc etc). They only helped temporarily, then it was always worse...
I went to counseling from 14 - about 23 and learned better methods for copping.
When I was about 24 I swore off all the pills (I was weened off of them) and was fairly healthy on my own for the most part (minus the alcohol use), which at the time I did not see as bad, since everyone did it...
To deal with the tiny bouts of depression, as it never truly goes away, I was lead to try medical marijuana for the depression, since I swore to never take Pills again, And it helped immensely.
SPEED UP TO CURRENT NOW....
In apprx the past 2-3 years I have not really needed the MM. The only bouts of depression I have struggled with have been a result of my alcoholism. And so when I would feel really depressed I would take accountability for it, it was my fault because I would binge drink, feel super depressed, do a detox, feel better, get drunk again etc etc..
Since I now realized I am an alcoholic and recently decided to do the sober thing, join AA, got a sponsor, etc. I also decided to not use the medical marijuana. I feel like it is important for me to be COMPLETELY sober especially in these beginning stages.
So...I am 19 days Sober =) By the grace of God!
The first week I had the DTs, went through them on my own and I have been feeling pretty great since!
NOW COMES THE QUESTION(S)...
Yesterday (now being just a little over 2 weeks). I had my first bout of kinda heavy depression...I was driving and I started having random extreme suicidal thoughts. I prayed fervently, giving God all authority over my mind, asking God to take away the thoughts, and feelings, as its an overall thing for me.
I have asked my drs office for mental health info and will work on getting to a counselor if it is within my (non) insured options.
I was invited to a womens CR retreat this weekend and I have been super excited about it..So this is all coming as hard to "deal" with for me.
I wonder if this is not the "devil" or what ever you may call it, evil forces way to sneakily try to keep me from my gradual path of getting closer to God and living fully in sobriety...making me think I need MM to cope with my manic depression OR making me doubt that my choice to NOT use MM is a bad one, being that it may leave me open to following thru with suicidal thoughts where if I used the medication would not do so...
Either way, MY Current choice is to do this sober thing for ME, completely sober. With NO use of ANY Medications at all. Plant based or not. Just me and God. Well and an awesome community like yall =)
I am curious on any thoughts you guys have regarding prescribed medications, plant based Or not, and/or the use of MM for a recovering alcoholic? And mostly thank you all for your time. God Bless <3 -Tiff
I have struggled with managing my alcoholism on my own for about the past 12 years.
I started drinking when I turned 20. I did not drink when I was in Highschool like my friends.
I have always suffered from manic depression, bipolar mood swings etc. They told me I did from a very early age...before I started drinking etc. Apparently it runs in the family.
I did try to commit suicide when I was 14.
From 14 to about 23 I was put on sooo many pill meds (prozac, zoloft, depacote, etc etc). They only helped temporarily, then it was always worse...
I went to counseling from 14 - about 23 and learned better methods for copping.
When I was about 24 I swore off all the pills (I was weened off of them) and was fairly healthy on my own for the most part (minus the alcohol use), which at the time I did not see as bad, since everyone did it...
To deal with the tiny bouts of depression, as it never truly goes away, I was lead to try medical marijuana for the depression, since I swore to never take Pills again, And it helped immensely.
SPEED UP TO CURRENT NOW....
In apprx the past 2-3 years I have not really needed the MM. The only bouts of depression I have struggled with have been a result of my alcoholism. And so when I would feel really depressed I would take accountability for it, it was my fault because I would binge drink, feel super depressed, do a detox, feel better, get drunk again etc etc..
Since I now realized I am an alcoholic and recently decided to do the sober thing, join AA, got a sponsor, etc. I also decided to not use the medical marijuana. I feel like it is important for me to be COMPLETELY sober especially in these beginning stages.
So...I am 19 days Sober =) By the grace of God!
The first week I had the DTs, went through them on my own and I have been feeling pretty great since!
NOW COMES THE QUESTION(S)...
Yesterday (now being just a little over 2 weeks). I had my first bout of kinda heavy depression...I was driving and I started having random extreme suicidal thoughts. I prayed fervently, giving God all authority over my mind, asking God to take away the thoughts, and feelings, as its an overall thing for me.
I have asked my drs office for mental health info and will work on getting to a counselor if it is within my (non) insured options.
I was invited to a womens CR retreat this weekend and I have been super excited about it..So this is all coming as hard to "deal" with for me.
I wonder if this is not the "devil" or what ever you may call it, evil forces way to sneakily try to keep me from my gradual path of getting closer to God and living fully in sobriety...making me think I need MM to cope with my manic depression OR making me doubt that my choice to NOT use MM is a bad one, being that it may leave me open to following thru with suicidal thoughts where if I used the medication would not do so...
Either way, MY Current choice is to do this sober thing for ME, completely sober. With NO use of ANY Medications at all. Plant based or not. Just me and God. Well and an awesome community like yall =)
I am curious on any thoughts you guys have regarding prescribed medications, plant based Or not, and/or the use of MM for a recovering alcoholic? And mostly thank you all for your time. God Bless <3 -Tiff
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Hello. I am so sorry you are feeling down.
I have a friend who is Bipolar, Rapid Cycle BP1. She has been told the #1 thing she can do for her issue is to abstain from alcohol. She has to keep a regular sleep schedule. Light therapy. You can absolutely take charge of BP by staying aware and doing all the things you should for your health. She exercises every day for the endorphins.
If you are BP, don't you benefit from a mood stabilizer? I would think you would have to have one to stay level and keep from cycling to mania to depression.
I hope you see a good psychiatrist who knows about helping bipolar issues. Many times the incorrect meds are prescribed which goes against recovery for you.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend and get some R&R!!
I have a friend who is Bipolar, Rapid Cycle BP1. She has been told the #1 thing she can do for her issue is to abstain from alcohol. She has to keep a regular sleep schedule. Light therapy. You can absolutely take charge of BP by staying aware and doing all the things you should for your health. She exercises every day for the endorphins.
If you are BP, don't you benefit from a mood stabilizer? I would think you would have to have one to stay level and keep from cycling to mania to depression.
I hope you see a good psychiatrist who knows about helping bipolar issues. Many times the incorrect meds are prescribed which goes against recovery for you.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend and get some R&R!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 78
Either way, MY Current choice is to do this sober thing for ME, completely sober. With NO use of ANY Medications at all. Plant based or not. Just me and God.
I am curious on any thoughts you guys have regarding prescribed medications, plant based Or not, and/or the use of MM for a recovering alcoholic? And mostly thank you all for your time. God Bless <3 -Tiff
I don't have any medical advice for you Tiff, but it sounds like you've made up your own mind to try and get sober off all manner of drugs, and I commend your for that
I am curious on any thoughts you guys have regarding prescribed medications, plant based Or not, and/or the use of MM for a recovering alcoholic? And mostly thank you all for your time. God Bless <3 -Tiff
I don't have any medical advice for you Tiff, but it sounds like you've made up your own mind to try and get sober off all manner of drugs, and I commend your for that
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
I'm sorry you're struggling.
I have had depression (chemical imbalance) all my life and I use antidepressants to level the playing field for me.
I've never used marijuana, so have no experience there.
I have had depression (chemical imbalance) all my life and I use antidepressants to level the playing field for me.
I've never used marijuana, so have no experience there.
Court jester
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: South Florida
Posts: 508
Don't be a martyr. If you honestly need medication to stabalize your BP, then by all means find a qualified psychiatrist and at least talk to him/her about it. The brain is an organ and if it is not functioning correctly due to some sort of chemical imbalance, then get the help you need with that. Just my $.02
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