Seeking Advice!
 

Hello, forum! I'm going to try and keep this as short and to-the-point as possible. Thanks in advance for even reading this :).

I've been a moderate to heavy drinker for a little over four years now, since the day I turned 21, and I typically only drink on the weekends. On said weekends, it's usually 18 or so craft beers that I indulge in, and it's not very common for me to surpass this limit. Although this may not sound like much (and even I'm unclear about whether I have a problem or not), I'm on a spiritual path of sorts to try and manage my social anxiety. Within the past 6 months, I've quit gluten (besides beer, that is), corn, HFCS, nicotine, caffeine, and I've gotten a little bit more serious about exercising and meditation - so it's making less and less sense for me to drink. I don't want to be a drinker forever, and it's not who I am.

One of my biggest fears right now is the upcoming weekend - I don't want to rashly decide one of these nights that just because I don't have an apparent problem (or maybe I really do after all), I can knock back the usual six pack and turn my brain off. Part of my brain might decide to entertain the idea, and I want to be able to firmly tell it, "No!".

How do you guys distract yourself from toying with the idea, especially in the beginning? This is day number five for me, currently, and I really want-to-want-to do it this time.

I think it's also worth mentioning that lately, I never really feel quite 'right' for days after drinking. I tend to have a 3 day period (that's more than half of a 5-day week, yikes!) of mild tremors, moderate shakes, more anxiety than usual and a feeling of unease. I guess it really is impacting my life after all, considering I feel so much better without it.

Hi and welcome wxfdswxc2 :)

I don't think volume matters as much as how you feel - if you feel it's a problem, then it's a problem :)

as to how can you stop yourself...sites like this help. There's always support here. 'Playing the tape through' can help too - force yourself to remember all the negative aspects of your drinking...play the drinking tape right to the end, and remind yourself that you want change or you wouldn't have signed up here :)

the best way to make change is to make changes :)

do you usually drink at home alone or out on the town with others?

D

Welcome! :) For me, I had to focus on sobriety as my first priority. I had to want to stay sober more than I wanted to drink.

I also kept myself busy in early recovery. I walked my dogs a lot, most every time I got a serious urge to drink, I walked my dogs instead. :) They got a lot of walks and I stayed sober! :)

Support is essential too. Do you have the support of family or friends in real life? SR works for many, but others need more support in their efforts. For some, a program like AA or AVRT works well. I needed counseling at first.

Find what you need and use it to keep yourself sober. And come here a lot. Post your feelings instead of drinking over them. If you get the urge to drink, post instead.

The most important is the most simple: don't drink. Just don't do it, no matter what. Start a gratitude list every day. Go out of your way to be kind. Enjoy each moment of your life. But don't drink, no matter what.

I hope we can help you stay sober. :hug:

The three day period you mention when you don't feel 'right'. That's probably withdrawals. They can be dangerous so if you are in withdrawal and it gets bad, seek medical help.

Thanks for the responses! That was quick!

Thanks for the advice! I think you're right about that. I'm fairly certain that they're not on the level of being dangerous (not that I really know, though, to be honest), but they still interfere with how I feel, and that should be enough motivation for me to quit.

Thanks for the response & advice! 9 times out of 10, I drink at home with others (others who are typically not drinking with me). There are some off chances when I end up alone, but I usually get too bored to stay awake on nights like that.

OK...maybe changing that at home routine is good idea...if noone else is drinking, for example, why not make it a no alcohol evening? :)

D

hi sweetie. in (my) opinion anyone correct me if I'm wrong, but the fact you searched and found this site indicates there (may) be a issue. normal drinkers would not even think about if there is a problem. All you can do is stop drink and see if things improve........

From what you write you appear a rather intelligent person who doesn't know if there is a problem or not. The common advice is: if you have to ask, you propably have a kind of problem with alcohol.

Can I ask by the way how much has that leaving out all gluteine helped with your state of being and mentality? Never tried that. Been off caffeine for about 6 months and it's been a strange ride in my experience. I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. The truth still remains, alcohol is risky, no matter who uses it.

No-one here is going to turn you off if you want to party. Everyone has the right and freedom to choose for themselves. It is just is the choice wise and according to your wishes.

Ok, so I'm going to share my opinion. 18 beers in a weekend is a lot by most health standards. They say on these boards don't compare the amount one problem drinker has to another, but if you look at AMA or other such organizations you are exceeding healthy consumption amounts. Just saying. Join us on a trip to complete abstinence.

i could never drink 18 beers omg.

Good going with the caffeine! I'm only about 23 days into quitting caffeine, myself. I would have to say that quitting gluten (besides my weekly beer intake) has been a real eye opener. It's surreal at first (after the withdrawal symptoms fade) to experience how clearheaded you feel, even after just the one week mark.

The problem being mostly gluten-free and then getting a HEAVY weekly shot of gluten (via beer) is getting to see the immediate side effects. My eczema flares up terribly on a weekly basis; the same goes for my IBS symptoms (which are practically nonexistent otherwise), and I become way more anxious. To put it plainly, I think there's way more harm in beer besides just the alcoholic value, even though both can be detrimental to one's wellbeing.

I hear this a lot from my fiancée, so I think you're right. The sober counterpart to someone's drunk evening can't possibly be having any real fun... and there's clearly more fun to be had without alcohol than there is indulging in it.

That's true, I could definitely see that. I guess if multiple people think you have an issue, or at least alcoholic tendencies (which are both applicable in my case), that could even be another warning sign.

I've always known this is unhealthy, but part of me isn't sure to what degree (I'm sure it's bad, though, and I just fool myself into thinking I'll never get health problems). After all, you're absolutely right, for me, four or so drinks is the only healthy amount.... and I'm really exceeding that.

I also want to thank everyone as a whole for their replies. Everything is getting clearer, and I'm starting to think I really did come to the right place. Intuition is an interesting thing.

I was told once, and I believe this, that intuition or that gut feeling, is a message. That god is speaking to me for a reason.

I have been asked many times when I am brooding over something, "What does your gut tell you?". You can find the answer there.

Hi there

well, it sounds like you have done an immense amount of work to improve your health and really think about what you are putting into your system. I really take my hat off to you. As you point out of course, dropping a load of gluten, polysaccharides, alcohol etc onto that nice clean system will probably result in more of an impact.

In addition, I imagine that you may have previously masked some of the after affects by compensating with caffeine, sugars etc. Since you are now not doing that you get to feel all of those after effects in 'glorious' detail - the dehydration, the effects of the metabolites of alcohol in your system, possible disturbed sleep etc. Quite literally a bit of a shock to the system!

In my experience, drinking alcohol causes a great deal of anxiety, especially in a binge way - at least it does for me. And end to binging reduces this massively - for me at least - but it takes a few weeks.

All the best - sounds like you are doing some great work already!

CC

Think about how someone would act if they wanted to be sober more than they wanted to drink, then try to act that way whether you feel it or not. Plan your weekends out, fill up all the time with something to ensure that it completely turns the routine upside down. You can do this!

Hello and welcome:

Great advice. I just wanted to add that that "voice" you speak of if called AV, addictive voice. Start reading a lot here and educate yourself. Figuring out what the AV is what made it clic for me and stay stopped.

I am so glad you found us. This place can change your life, it really helped me change mine.

Hi.
You seem to be concerned about healthy food intake. Perhaps you can remind yourself that any alcohol, even beer, is not considered a health food, it’s toxic. I think your negative results after drinking show you this.

BE WELL

I think you're right about this. Lately, I can even notice the effects of a simple peanut butter cup! It almost feels like the healthier you get, the weaker you feel, even though that's clearly not the case... it's more of your internal compass pointing in a cleaner direction and telling you exactly what it doesn't want.

I've definitely been feeling alcohol on that level, and it is awful, all of the symptoms that you mentioned. Just thinking about it makes it repulsive, which is exactly how I need to feel if I'm going to get over this. Thanks so much for the response.

Welcome Wx its nice to meet you

Do you want to stop drinking?
Do you think you need to stop drinking?

I think when we get to the point where we start to evaluate our drinking it has already become a problem. Or as the common response I have seen goes, "If you think you have an alcohol problem, then you don't have to ask."

Try abstaining for a few months. If you have a difficult time doing that - or can't - then it's what you should be doing.