strongwoman777

I have been sober for only 5 days now. I never was an everyday drinker and could go days with having wine or beer in the kitchen and not touch it. But when I did, I would drink until I was drunk. I went to dinner with family and friends yesterday and even though my husband and friends ordered beers I ordered an iced tea. It wasn't hard at all since it was just a casual sit down dinner. The occasions that worry me are the times where there will be partying.

I have not been craving a drink but I struggle with the idea of all the events that are coming up that would normally drink and have a great time at. For instance, 2 rock concerts are coming up that I will be going with drinkers and camping trips and birthday party's. I get this anxiety in my stomach like I am missing out on all of the fun. I feel like I was stupid to let my drinking get out of hand and now this is the price I have to pay. I know this is the best thing for me seeing as I gradually would drink more and more through the years where lately I would either pass out or black out and not remember what happened the night before. Very scary stuff that I don't want to happen anymore or lose my marriage or family over either. Will these feeling change overtime or will I just feel like a dried up boring old hag that is the party pooper?=\

~Lia~

I was exactly like you. I can tell you that the blackouts only come quicker and more often, with no warning.

Once I decided to quit, I would only plan for the weekend ahead. Who were we seeing, what were we doing.

At first, I didn't tell anyone I quit drinking. I would say I was on antibiotics, I was on steroids for poison ivy, I was designated driver. Just to get another event under my belt where I didn't drink.

Now, 7 months in, I have no problem telling people I don't drink. Of course I still wish I could, but I change my attitude and "play the tape all the way through."

One drink is never enough. One drink leads to blackout or pass out. Then shame, remorse, regret. Remind yourself of this and take it one weekend at a time. Soon you'll find your flow and be able to get through any situation.

Good luck, it is very, very hard in the beginning. But hang in there and you will see it gets easier

DrunkenDonuts

Hi strongwoman.

Just wondering if you've told your friends/family that you're not drinking anymore?

My first challenge after only about a week sober was to go to a work gathering where everyone else was drinking. Normally I would have stayed home and got black out drunk or drunk there and possibly looked like an idiot. However, I told my colleagues I was allergic to alcohol and I couldn't drink - which isn't really a lie in my opinion.

Anyway, no one have me grief over it and it was a fun night. Because everyone else was drinking they thought I was funny as hell and it wasn't because I was dancing in the table with a cat draped over my shoulders this time.

It also make you into a liar if you do drink. And no one wants that.

Also - nice work on the 5 days!

Fly N Buy

Glad you're here - welcome!

You'll look back at this time down the road and understand what a caring unselfish event your decision to become sober was for yourself and your loved ones. Your lives will be truly amazing for what you have decided to do! This is huge - good for you!

Learning how to have sober "fun" takes times and our definition of that changes. Fun with your spouse and family will take on new meaning

Keep posting, you are not alone!

strongwoman777

Yes, It is true that they come quicker and you don't even see it coming. The only person that knows that Im quitting is my husband but I dont plan on telling anyone else yet, I guess mostly because I don't want to make this big announcement and feel like I need to live up to THEIR expectations when it is really about me. thanks for your kind words, I am glad I found this Forum=)

Dee74

Got to be honest, I found it best not to do any partying until I felt my recovery was secure.

If you know those kind of situations are dangerous for you, give them a miss. You don;t need to be a hermit - there's lots of stuff we can do that doesn't involve alcohol - but work up to those harder situation - build those sober muscles.

are you doing anything else besides SR?

D

strongwoman777

drunken donuts, I actually want to get to the point of going out and hanging out with my friends that drink and not have to. I have done it before so I know I am capable of it, I just need to get over this feeling of missing out and like Im not on the same "fun" level as them. I'm pretty fun and silly when I'm not drinking and I perform as a singer all the time with no alcohol so I know I can do this ......I guess I just need to know that Im not the only one struggling with these feelings.

Soberwolf

Welcome Strongwoman its nice to meet you youl find tons of support here

Have you considered writing up a sober plan ?

DrunkenDonuts

Just my own thoughts on that - it doesn't have to be some grand announcement like you're taking the country to war or something. Just don't drink, and if someone offers you one you can just let them know you're not drinking.
It is totally about you - so don't worry what other people think. If they give you grief then it's their problem
It just seems like you've got an "out" if you decide to drink if no one else knows but your husband..

DrunkenDonuts

In their drunken haze you'll be even more fun when you're sober. Think about it: what do people do before going to games or concerts or whatever? They drink to make it more fun (in theory).
The sober performer is the major winner every time!

strongwoman777

One of the struggles is that husband is an alcoholic as well. At the moment he is trying to not go out or drink as much so this is an extra struggle as he is still drinking and going out.

DrunkenDonuts

Wow. I don't have much experience with not drinking around another alcoholic. But people here do. Hopefully they'll stop by to help.

I wish you the best

least

Believe me, it is possible to have a good time without drinking. I do. And I never feel bad the day after. Drinking has been made to seem necessary for having fun. But that's a lie.

Alynn

Welcome! I had to drink till drunk also. It's so exhausting trying to moderate! I honestly have to just stay away from situations where I know there will be parting going on. For now anyways. Lots of support here for you!

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Strongwoman!!