Addicted to Drama: Why Does This Always Happen to Me?
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Addicted to Drama: Why Does This Always Happen to Me?
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Nice article.
I would add at least one psychological component: Being "addicted" to drama and other self-defeating behaviors gives us a counterfeit sense that we are in control of the behavior or of the situation in which the behavior is acted out. It's a kind of repetition compulsion, an attempt at mastery over that which we experience little or no control.
By engaging in or creating drama in situations in which we believe we have been wronged, we in fact nurture the hurt or perceived injustice, leaving us frustrated and only more amped up or primed for the next insult, something that often we provoke in order again engage in this type of addictive behavior.
This process also allows us to remain as constant victims who deserve and demand reparations and who attract attention which, in turn and again, nurtures the hurt or the perceived injustice. Yet the attention has its limits and often fades, and the victim position is often quickly recognized for what it is. On some level, engaging in or creating drama suggests a sense of entitlement that the person will fiercely deny, claiming instead that the situation is "a matter of principal" or a demand for "justice." The source of this attachment can often be traced back to a time in the individual's personal history. For example, we often discover that such people have suffered either traumatic or ongoing neglect, abuse or loss. Or simply never felt that they were heard during critical times in their lives.
Though brain processes often have dramatic effects on our behavior, in the end, we are more often than not responsible for taking the victim position. We can generally avoid situations in which we feel victimized, walk away from them or otherwise not indulge them. Far from being an easy or quick fix, disengaging from "drama" requires a sense of self-preservation, self-awareness and a decision to live life, rather than succumb to the seductive pull of fighting windmills out of anger, neglect or a sense of loss.
I would add at least one psychological component: Being "addicted" to drama and other self-defeating behaviors gives us a counterfeit sense that we are in control of the behavior or of the situation in which the behavior is acted out. It's a kind of repetition compulsion, an attempt at mastery over that which we experience little or no control.
By engaging in or creating drama in situations in which we believe we have been wronged, we in fact nurture the hurt or perceived injustice, leaving us frustrated and only more amped up or primed for the next insult, something that often we provoke in order again engage in this type of addictive behavior.
This process also allows us to remain as constant victims who deserve and demand reparations and who attract attention which, in turn and again, nurtures the hurt or the perceived injustice. Yet the attention has its limits and often fades, and the victim position is often quickly recognized for what it is. On some level, engaging in or creating drama suggests a sense of entitlement that the person will fiercely deny, claiming instead that the situation is "a matter of principal" or a demand for "justice." The source of this attachment can often be traced back to a time in the individual's personal history. For example, we often discover that such people have suffered either traumatic or ongoing neglect, abuse or loss. Or simply never felt that they were heard during critical times in their lives.
Though brain processes often have dramatic effects on our behavior, in the end, we are more often than not responsible for taking the victim position. We can generally avoid situations in which we feel victimized, walk away from them or otherwise not indulge them. Far from being an easy or quick fix, disengaging from "drama" requires a sense of self-preservation, self-awareness and a decision to live life, rather than succumb to the seductive pull of fighting windmills out of anger, neglect or a sense of loss.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
As a drunk I was like the pit bull witnessing two other dogs fighting......could not wait to join in = the rush.
In sobriety, I fully agree we look for ways to supplant this dopamine rush. It is interesting to note how this rush becomes habit based on the behavior and ingrained in the synapses.
Maybe as addicts/alcoholics it is a zero sum game. We trade off one bad behavior for another which hopefully won't kill us ( as rapidly).
However, where there is awareness there is hope. I am encouraged that change is indeed possible - really doubted it was for a very long time.
I am an ego manic with an inferiority complex......
This is interesting and helpful as well -
http://www.soberrecovery.com/recover...ing-with-fear/
In sobriety, I fully agree we look for ways to supplant this dopamine rush. It is interesting to note how this rush becomes habit based on the behavior and ingrained in the synapses.
Maybe as addicts/alcoholics it is a zero sum game. We trade off one bad behavior for another which hopefully won't kill us ( as rapidly).
However, where there is awareness there is hope. I am encouraged that change is indeed possible - really doubted it was for a very long time.
I am an ego manic with an inferiority complex......
This is interesting and helpful as well -
http://www.soberrecovery.com/recover...ing-with-fear/
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