Weasel1966

I can rattle off a thousand "reasons" I stay sober. They would range from improvements in the most mundane, yet essential, of bodily functions to the brain freezing shocking reactions I no longer experience when thinking of what I have done drunk and high on crack.

An honest list would be long and scary... sad and pathetic.

But the list would effectively be a list of results from my actions and actually not a real list of the drivers and motivations I use daily to remain sober. A simple scare tactic is all it would be.

The gap between the "how to" and the "what happens if" is the essence of sobriety. A simple and mathematically sound theory that, when understood, can turn the tide for even the most feeble and desperate of drunk druggies like me.

A fine line that we dance between in our muddled minds. The term "relapse prevention" is a wide overlay we apply that straddles and claims just a snippet from the how to side and a giant swath from the what happens if side. Relapse prevention is a another scare tactic at best.

Now don't get me wrong, fear is a valid motivator. Without hesitation and doubt I can tell you easily what happens if I drink and that scares the ever living hell out of me.... So what?

Sustainable sobriety sits squarely on the how to side of this equation. For me sobriety is in the desire for abstinence.

Desire... "I desire to not drink." It cannot be that simplistic. There are mountains of evidence against me all stating that I must comply with all sorts of prescriptions if I want to remain sober. Prepare my mind for every conceivable combination of people and events I could ever come across. Know how to act when people ask why I don't drink. Find exit strategies that will allow me to mingle, even if for a short while, with those in control of their lives.

Do all this and maybe... Just maybe... I will remain sober for the foreseeable future and don't ask for absolutes. Sobriety is not a promise made to me... It is a promise made by me and I cannot be trusted.

I stay sober because I desire to remain abstinent. Nothing more. Nothing less.

twal

Thanks for the message, Weasal! So much of it rings true.

Saskia

Thanks, Weasel, (fellow Mainiac).

I try to keep it simple or else my whole life would be taken up by trying to stay sober! My outpatient rehab program gave us a good grounding in relapse prevention that doesn't rely on a whole bunch of detailed stuff. Just a list of 5 or 6 stages and an overview of the kinds of things that can help. If I remember accurately, it's something like the following:

First stage of relapse is thinking about it. Fix is to think it through to the end.
2nd stage is actual strong cravings. Fix is to do something physical - even if only raise one's arms above head.

Third: actively thinking about using. Strategy: get support from others ..

Fourth: slip and use. Strategy: avoid guilt, avoid isolating. Get help from supportive friends/groups/counselor. Stop as quickly as possible.

What I like about this is that one doesn't need to remember all kinds of things. A general knowledge about progression and possible strategies is enough.

Weasel1966

Wow saskia... We joined here a month apart and both in Maine. Awesome. I have been to the local outpatient treatment as well. They do a good job at helping level set a way we can approach living sober. Thanks for that reminder.

Congrats on over 7 months! Feels good to live without drinking. Feels amazing. That's why I love to write how living sober makes me see things and feel things I could not before.

Ken

mecanix

You cannot be trusted ? Hmmm classic case of the AV telling you that K .

Otherwise i'll buy what your saying .

Keep on , m

Saskia

Weasel, I wasn't living here when I joined SR but moved here to a retirement community several months ago. Love it :-)

Ruby2

Thanks Weasel, for that reminder. For me it boils down to keep it simple. I don't need fancy or complicated. I need to remember the things that Saskia posted.

Sobriety isn't a given for me. One day at a time I promise myself that I won't drink today. Thanks to all the support I get here and in real life. It's the little things that lead me in the right direction.

Dee74

I enjoy living over simply existing. That's why I remain sober and love being so

D

Behan

Them be wise words sir.

B

Behan

Them be wise words sir.

B

least

I stay sober so my life isn't a mess like it used to be. I also stay sober so I can take good care of my dogs and cats. They are a huge part of my life and deserve the best of care.

JoeCree

Thanks weasle... That was a good read. Again I am ever-blown away at the intellect and creative writing coming from a self proclaimed druggy alcoholic.
Imagine underneath all the remorse and regret is an incredible, intelligent, articulate person. Regardless of lable.

Mcribb

My life every moment has to have meaning. One of the meanings for me is that "You can have a good life without booze" it is not only possible but you can be a better person with a better mind.

Buggirl

Thanks! Love it!

Soberwolf

This

Alynn

Thanks Weasel!