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hi, I am a loved one of an alcoholic. and i am hurting

Old 03-23-2015, 08:12 AM
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hi, I am a loved one of an alcoholic. and i am hurting

I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic now for 16 months. He is sober again, since, Feb.1st. on my bday, feb 17th. He told me that he has to concentrate on his sobriety and making room for God right now. And that means he cannot be in a relationship. I know he is right. I know he needs this. I know I have to let him go... but I am in the raw beginning of this. Every day right now is a struggle to just get up and not start crying. I feel lost. Thanks for listening.
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Old 03-23-2015, 08:29 AM
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I am so sorry you are hurting. I am sure you are devestated. If the alternative to his decision would have been him relapsing that would have devestated you both. I love my AH with all my heart- enough that if he told me he couldnt be with me because he needed to concentrate on sobriety 100% I would have to step away to let someone I love be healthy, beleive me I have thought about that many times when I was still naive enough to blame myself for his disease. Are you still on friendly terms? Still chatting on the phone now and then, things like that?
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Old 03-23-2015, 08:39 AM
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It is so hard because for the last yr and a half, we have been in contact every single day. All his friends and family had enough. I should have walked too, but I didn't. I loved him, I love him. I stayed, for whatever crazy reason. and he is now sober and is done with me and he is back with all his "real" friends. I feel used, discarded. He seems angry now when we talk, like he hates me almost.
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Old 03-23-2015, 08:40 AM
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yes, we still talk every day, but it is hard, and yes we are on good terms, but both of us have been angry and said mean things to each other.
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Old 03-23-2015, 09:11 AM
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Hi, Daydreamer--glad you found us here at SR. It's good news that your A is seeking recovery, even though it sure doesn't feel like it to you right now. Have you considered your OWN recovery? We who are the spouses, partners, friends and relatives of alcoholics are usually just as messed up in our own way as the A's are.

There is a section of this forum specifically for the family and friends of alcoholics: Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
You might want to take a look around over there.

It's a great first step that you came here. Keep coming back.
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Old 03-23-2015, 09:17 AM
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thank you, yes, i am happy he is getting help, it is his 4th time n rehab. every time I am hopeful. yes, I know I need help. I know that without a doubt.
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Old 03-23-2015, 11:23 AM
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he just called and wants to meet up for supper tonight and talk, but I just do not think I am ready, or strong enough
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Old 03-23-2015, 12:02 PM
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Welcome Daydream its nice to meet you

youl find so much support here
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