A Sobering Reminder - Bitter Sweet
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: South
Posts: 226
A Sobering Reminder - Bitter Sweet
This weekend was amazing at home. Despite bad weather Saturday, Sunday was absolutely gorgeous. My kid brother came to visit the wife and family. Friday night, they (bro & wife) had a few drinks while we all sat out on the deck watching a movie. Scotch to be exact. The next morning, on my way to my bike ride, I was sharing the events of the evening with a close friend. He asked: do you ever miss the scotch? I thought about it, and said no emphatically - and this is why. I have come to become dependent on my morning bike ride and/or run. Anything that even remotely jeopardizes that, actually turns me off, which as you might imagine a scotch induced hangover would do. So absolutely NO! I don't miss it.
To those still struggling, sounds like Koolaid, right? Well Sunday night we had some friends over for a BBQ of sorts, and I partook in smoking a Cigar (second one over the weekend). I also happened to sleep around Midnight. This morning I woke up at 5:45am, and felt like a freight train hit me. I mean like absolute arse. Hangover quality, sans the liquor. I was filled with absolute terror, angst, resentment, self hatred. I completely jeopardized my most sacred outlet outside of my wife and kids.
I did manage to eek out a five miler before 8, but it was half therapeutic, half punishment, half self preservation (3 halves?). The bitter part is that I am hurting pretty bad. The sweet - if I was drinking my own koolaid Saturday, I proved it to myself beyond a shadow of a doubt.
In my opinion, the secret to sobriety is to love something more than you love the drunk feeling. Something so ingrained in your fiber, you just aren't willing to risk it. I often read about folks on this site who can't quit, except for when they got pregnant. There is a reason it works during pregnancy - there is a higher power, love, interest involved - a child, your child. But it proves there are things more important, and that you can do it!
To those still struggling, sounds like Koolaid, right? Well Sunday night we had some friends over for a BBQ of sorts, and I partook in smoking a Cigar (second one over the weekend). I also happened to sleep around Midnight. This morning I woke up at 5:45am, and felt like a freight train hit me. I mean like absolute arse. Hangover quality, sans the liquor. I was filled with absolute terror, angst, resentment, self hatred. I completely jeopardized my most sacred outlet outside of my wife and kids.
I did manage to eek out a five miler before 8, but it was half therapeutic, half punishment, half self preservation (3 halves?). The bitter part is that I am hurting pretty bad. The sweet - if I was drinking my own koolaid Saturday, I proved it to myself beyond a shadow of a doubt.
In my opinion, the secret to sobriety is to love something more than you love the drunk feeling. Something so ingrained in your fiber, you just aren't willing to risk it. I often read about folks on this site who can't quit, except for when they got pregnant. There is a reason it works during pregnancy - there is a higher power, love, interest involved - a child, your child. But it proves there are things more important, and that you can do it!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
To maintain my sobriety I needed to ask my Higher Power to not drink on a daily basis. So far it’s worked for a lot of years one day at a time in a row.
I feel if something works for us over time don’t try to fix it!
BE WELL
To maintain my sobriety I needed to ask my Higher Power to not drink on a daily basis. So far it’s worked for a lot of years one day at a time in a row.
I feel if something works for us over time don’t try to fix it!
BE WELL
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 73
Amen, DrunkTx! There is no better feeling in the world for an ex-drinker to wake up every morning feeling great (and still be able to remember what those terrible mornings felt like). It's certainly added fuel for my daily renewal to wake up feeling so great. Good for you!
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