What's the deal with sponsorship?
 

Hi all,

Hope everyone's doing well today.

I have a few questions that I'm hoping will be able to help me as I begin my journey with recovery and hopefully their answers will be able to help some other newcomers.

I attended my first meeting yesterday and was overwhelmed with relief that I'm no longer alone. I was approached by a lady who offered to be my temporary sponsor, and I was encouraged to "work the contact list."

So, I'm very open to all of these things but here is where I'm a little lost:

-When/How often should I be getting in touch with my sponsor?
-What kinds of things should I be asking her?
-How do I get over the feeling that I'll be bugging someone? I have a lot of questions and I don't really know where to start.

Just...wha?! I guess...I'd just like to hear some advice on where to start. Once again, I'm sober and obviously it's NB not to pick up the first drink. I'm just ready to start working on this properly and dunno where to start.

I'll hopefully be able to attend an online meeting tonight as well, which is not as daunting as the physical meeting but I'm super awkward on the phone so I may just listen for the first one haha.

Any advice would be deeply appreciated.

A lot of your questions can be answered here:

D

These are precisely the type of questions you should ask a sponsor or temporary sponsor. Ultimate a sponsor guides you through the steps and sobriety in general

Every day, even when you feel fine. These people will worry about you so let them know how you are doing on a regular basis.

Everything, especially what you think is dumb questions.

She offered, so she probably figures she has the time and is willing to help.

My sponsor tells me to call him every two days. He will also give me homework to do depending on what steps I am working on...Vocabulary, readings, papers. Your sponsor is there to help you work and understand the steps.

I think "work the contact list" is excellent advice. Call someone and tell them you are practicing using the phone list, and just wanted to say, "Hi." Then if you ever need to use an AA phone list it won't feel as awkward.

if she offered - she wants to work with you. In AA sponsoring people is how a lot of people that have already worked the steps stay sober. It takes them through the process again and again. My suggestion would be tell yourself that by calling her and asking for her help you are actually helping her stay sober as much as she will be helping getting you through the steps. That's just my two cents. I wish you the best!!!0

Good questions and for sure the link Dee provided is a good one!

I had the same type questions when I started. As a newcomer not that long ago my experience was that my sponsor (and other friends I made in AA) helped get me thru the period where I was very restless and irritable - just needed to hang in there.

At that point I could make some sense out of working the steps with my sponsor and gain some traction in the program of AA which is different that then fellowship/meetings.

Sponsors are mentors/guides - they will not nor is it their task to keep others sober. But, their knowledge of what it was like - how they worked that program and what it is like now is invaluable.

Glad you're here, keeping staying sober and keep coming back!

-When/How often should I be getting in touch with my sponsor?

Whenever you have a need of help. I prefer daily.

-What kinds of things should I be asking her?

About anything to do with staying sober and how recovery works.

-How do I get over the feeling that I'll be bugging someone? I have a lot of questions and I don't really know where to start.

Believe me when I say you will be helping her as much as she you.

A sponsor is a person like a guide, there is no binding contract but it often leads to a long close relationship.
Often a sponsor is chosen when we see in that person something we’d like to emulate.

BE WELL

When I first got sober, my first time around, I had numbers but didn't call people, even to just say "hello". I felt like I was bugging them. I relapsed because I didn't then feel connected or supported. That was my own, and in retrospect, poor choice. When I got sober again, I started reaching out. Now I keep in regular contact with a few people and I don't feel alone. You aren't bugging people when they give you their numbers. They need contact with other alcoholics as much as you need them. You get what you give. If they didn't want you to call, they wouldn't give you the number.

sponsorship
 

it is a good idea to go to the fellowship there are brochures.... in this day in age sponsorship has gotten water down and away from what it intentionally was meant to be call me everyday 90 in 90 do a stuff of year don't make any decisions in the first year run from these people find a person in the Fellowship now granted asking another person for help may seem like the most hardest thing you'll ever do better be the best thing you've ever done simply find a person who has taken the 12 steps preferably out of the book Alcoholics Anonymous and ask for help sponsorship a sponsor is a member of a fellowship who has worked the 12 steps and takes other people through the 12 steps that's what we do guide others through the steps that's all that's our only responsibility not to be a banker not to be a nurse not to be a ride simply give directions so someone can recreate their life and help others the support group is good if you want to. bitch wine moan and complain doctor's opinion chapter 7 working with others talks about sponsorship page 262 bottom top of page 263 talks about Doctor being a sponsor it's simply guiding another member through the steps so that you can guide another member through the steps and keep it going face your fear ask a person to help they won't turn you down and if that doesn't work call me I will be your sponsor since March I've listened to 8 fifth steps and have 9 guys writing there fourth step now we are on a life-and-death errand what are we willing to do to get better