Another new one, advice pls
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: NY,NY
Posts: 1
Another new one, advice pls
Hey everyone,
I'm going to try to stay sober for a few months at least. I used to work out a lot, had a nice body, girls used to oogle over me in college, but now that I graduated a few years ago, I'm living on my own working a full time job. I've lost a lot of weight due to drinking- I'm talking like a good 30lbs.. I feel like I'm skin and bones- 135lbs now. When I drink, my heart really acts up the next day, like it beats very hard and fast especially if I eat anything. My bpm gets to 140+ sometimes just sitting on my couch. I drink usually 3 times a week.. one day during the week i'll have 5 or so beers just relaxing after work, and usually on Friday and Saturday i'll polish a case off by myself (24 beers give or take). I'm constantly tired, have terrible anxiety and I'm extremely self conscious now that I've lost a lot of weight- and all of this is because of alcohol. I'm like 90% sure someone slipped something in my drink a few months ago which made me very sick the next day, and because of that, I didn't drink for about 3 weeks- which I felt amazing in that time. Problem is, I live alone and don't have many friends, and the ones I do have, I don't hang out with... They're more of a "lets grab some drinks" or "lets drink n watch the game" buddies. So a lot of the time, I'm bored.
What do you all do to pass the time after work? I play video games, and I still make it to the gym maybe once or twice a week (doesn't do anything, I need to go more) but even when I get home from the gym I'm like damn a cold beer would be good. I never drank soda really before, but to make myself not drink beer on the weekdays as much, I've been drinking a lot of ginger ale. Idk if its a thing where I need to be drinking something or what but I guess it's working.
What about weekends? my sister, her husband and my niece and nephew live around here, so even when i go see them I'm bored out of my mind. I just want to feel better and I don't know where to start. I even made a video on my phone of myself, drunk, telling myself not to drink anymore because my heart races and it makes me feel like ****. I'm a 26 year old man and it almost made me cry this morning watching it... but hey I need a reminder.
What do you do instead of drinking when you're alone and bored??? Should I get a weekend job? I already work about 60hrs during the week (office job but still)
I'm going to try to stay sober for a few months at least. I used to work out a lot, had a nice body, girls used to oogle over me in college, but now that I graduated a few years ago, I'm living on my own working a full time job. I've lost a lot of weight due to drinking- I'm talking like a good 30lbs.. I feel like I'm skin and bones- 135lbs now. When I drink, my heart really acts up the next day, like it beats very hard and fast especially if I eat anything. My bpm gets to 140+ sometimes just sitting on my couch. I drink usually 3 times a week.. one day during the week i'll have 5 or so beers just relaxing after work, and usually on Friday and Saturday i'll polish a case off by myself (24 beers give or take). I'm constantly tired, have terrible anxiety and I'm extremely self conscious now that I've lost a lot of weight- and all of this is because of alcohol. I'm like 90% sure someone slipped something in my drink a few months ago which made me very sick the next day, and because of that, I didn't drink for about 3 weeks- which I felt amazing in that time. Problem is, I live alone and don't have many friends, and the ones I do have, I don't hang out with... They're more of a "lets grab some drinks" or "lets drink n watch the game" buddies. So a lot of the time, I'm bored.
What do you all do to pass the time after work? I play video games, and I still make it to the gym maybe once or twice a week (doesn't do anything, I need to go more) but even when I get home from the gym I'm like damn a cold beer would be good. I never drank soda really before, but to make myself not drink beer on the weekdays as much, I've been drinking a lot of ginger ale. Idk if its a thing where I need to be drinking something or what but I guess it's working.
What about weekends? my sister, her husband and my niece and nephew live around here, so even when i go see them I'm bored out of my mind. I just want to feel better and I don't know where to start. I even made a video on my phone of myself, drunk, telling myself not to drink anymore because my heart races and it makes me feel like ****. I'm a 26 year old man and it almost made me cry this morning watching it... but hey I need a reminder.
What do you do instead of drinking when you're alone and bored??? Should I get a weekend job? I already work about 60hrs during the week (office job but still)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
You could start working out again. It sounds like you've lost a lot of muscle.
There are lots of things you could do. You could learn new skills, pick up new hobbies, etc. You can even watch games without alcohol. I actually enjoy watching games more without the alcohol.
There are lots of things you could do. You could learn new skills, pick up new hobbies, etc. You can even watch games without alcohol. I actually enjoy watching games more without the alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Hi and Welcome,
Alcohol will take everything from you, not just a few pounds of muscle. It nearly killed me, and it took me 20 long and painful years to realize I will never be able to drink in moderation.
As for being bored, there are a billion sober hobbies you can take on. Just use your imagination. Problem is most likely like mine when younger, the only way to come out of my shell was with some beers in me.
Good luck!
Alcohol will take everything from you, not just a few pounds of muscle. It nearly killed me, and it took me 20 long and painful years to realize I will never be able to drink in moderation.
As for being bored, there are a billion sober hobbies you can take on. Just use your imagination. Problem is most likely like mine when younger, the only way to come out of my shell was with some beers in me.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
welcome JB,
The only advice I will offer is that if and when you do finally get a few months of sobriety under your belt, keep it.
Going back after a period of abstinence for someone as you describe will be much worse.
It has been scientifically proven.
As for boredom, I spent the last years bored out of my skull. I just didn't realize it. If sitting around getting drunk and not doing much else is not boring...
The only advice I will offer is that if and when you do finally get a few months of sobriety under your belt, keep it.
Going back after a period of abstinence for someone as you describe will be much worse.
It has been scientifically proven.
As for boredom, I spent the last years bored out of my skull. I just didn't realize it. If sitting around getting drunk and not doing much else is not boring...
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
What do you like to do? When I first quit drinking I made new evening rituals that I continue to this day. I really got into all kinds of teas (herbal at night), which help me relax and give me something to drink that isn't alcohol. I have many interests but I also felt bored at first. Some things I like to do that are really a lot of fun when sober:
reading (all kinds of books, but in the beginning books on recovery are so helpful)
walking my dogs
watching funny movies/shows
camping
hiking
yoga
cooking
dining out
meditating
Getting sober is so much more than just quitting drinking. You have to go inside yourself and learn to be comfortable with just being. There were nights I went to bed at 7:00 just so I wouldn't drink, and that is okay. Have you thought about therapy or any kind of recovery program? I am not a 12-step person, but AA meetings are a good way to make sober friends and create a support system.
Good luck to you. xoxox
reading (all kinds of books, but in the beginning books on recovery are so helpful)
walking my dogs
watching funny movies/shows
camping
hiking
yoga
cooking
dining out
meditating
Getting sober is so much more than just quitting drinking. You have to go inside yourself and learn to be comfortable with just being. There were nights I went to bed at 7:00 just so I wouldn't drink, and that is okay. Have you thought about therapy or any kind of recovery program? I am not a 12-step person, but AA meetings are a good way to make sober friends and create a support system.
Good luck to you. xoxox
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Indiana
Posts: 503
VOLUNTEER! Do you know how many organizations would love to have a 26 yr old volunteer? Food pantries, animal shelters, soup kitchens, boys and girls clubs, mentoring, etc. you could really make a difference somewhere.
Also, the gym can be a very lonely place if you just go in and lift weights. I suggest taking group classes if possible. The camaraderie is great, and many of the people in there don't drink for the simple reason of the empty calories and negative nutrition value.
Also, the gym can be a very lonely place if you just go in and lift weights. I suggest taking group classes if possible. The camaraderie is great, and many of the people in there don't drink for the simple reason of the empty calories and negative nutrition value.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
JB10,
I'm a 29 year old guy and love alone, so I can relate to the boredom factor and having friends that are all the "let's grab some drinks" type.
I'm now 32 days sober and don't have a ton to add si ce I'm grappling with a lot of the same issues, but I have found that I can go watch the games and just stick to club soda. Because while my friends will be going through one or two beers an hour and then leaving at a responsible hour while just buzzed, I'd be like 10-15 drinks deep and completely obliterated.
Right now, I'm avoiding bars and drinking specific events as much as possible, but I realize I cannot go through life avoiding events where alcohol is available. It is nice to know that if stick to club soda, most people don't even notice. And it's a huge relief being sober and not worrying about people noticing how much more I'm drinking and then waking up the next morning with a hangover and full of regret and embarassment.
I'm a 29 year old guy and love alone, so I can relate to the boredom factor and having friends that are all the "let's grab some drinks" type.
I'm now 32 days sober and don't have a ton to add si ce I'm grappling with a lot of the same issues, but I have found that I can go watch the games and just stick to club soda. Because while my friends will be going through one or two beers an hour and then leaving at a responsible hour while just buzzed, I'd be like 10-15 drinks deep and completely obliterated.
Right now, I'm avoiding bars and drinking specific events as much as possible, but I realize I cannot go through life avoiding events where alcohol is available. It is nice to know that if stick to club soda, most people don't even notice. And it's a huge relief being sober and not worrying about people noticing how much more I'm drinking and then waking up the next morning with a hangover and full of regret and embarassment.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
I’m reminded that I felt bored the first couple of weeks in AA and it was suggested that I might be isolating too much which is a hazard in sobriety. At that point I became very active in AA and started to get out of my self centered mental state. Working the program as it’s laid out certainly helps my recovery in so many ways.
BE WELL
I’m reminded that I felt bored the first couple of weeks in AA and it was suggested that I might be isolating too much which is a hazard in sobriety. At that point I became very active in AA and started to get out of my self centered mental state. Working the program as it’s laid out certainly helps my recovery in so many ways.
BE WELL
Court jester
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: South Florida
Posts: 508
Damn, I put on 40 pounds from drinking! 1500 calories a night from booze plus the "drunk munchies". The boredom issue is a tough one. I too am experiencing that. The good news is that the world is my option. I can choose anything I want to do sans drinking. As for right now, I am going to meetings at least every other day because I need to re-learn how to make friends and be social. Beyond that, I am on this site a good 4 hours a day!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum JB!! 
For me sitting after work drinking on my own was hardly an exciting whirlwind of a life, we can very easily think alcohol was exciting, because time maybe passed quicker as we escaped on our evenings after work, in the cold light of day time seems harder to pass, but that's no less exciting compared to what we were already doing!!
We need to get away from the myth that alcohol equals exciting, figure out new hobbies and interests rather than what I would call my previous "boring life" sitting in on my own drinking!!
For me sitting after work drinking on my own was hardly an exciting whirlwind of a life, we can very easily think alcohol was exciting, because time maybe passed quicker as we escaped on our evenings after work, in the cold light of day time seems harder to pass, but that's no less exciting compared to what we were already doing!!
We need to get away from the myth that alcohol equals exciting, figure out new hobbies and interests rather than what I would call my previous "boring life" sitting in on my own drinking!!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
When I am bored I walk my dogs if possible. Volunteering somewhere is a great idea. 
Lend your talents to some group that needs help. You'll do something good for your community and make some friends too.
Lend your talents to some group that needs help. You'll do something good for your community and make some friends too. 
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