Returning to Job after Rehab
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 5
Returning to Job after Rehab
Hello, I recently completed a 28-day treatment program and am set to go back to work in a week. I'm extremely nervous about this. I made the decision to attend rehab but didn't tell my coworkers. I worked directly with my HR department using FMLA. I just don't know how to handle the questions from coworkers when I return. I'm anxious about the gossip. I don't want to disclose where I've been. I'm sure there are assumptions of where I've been because I had been calling in sick and coming in hungover a lot, then up and left on medical leave without warning. Any advice on how to return to work without feeling embarrassed and at a loss for words when littered with questions about where I went?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,776
Hi, for family reasons? And if probed, say I really don't want to go into it.
Only a really insensitive person would take it further. Everyone has got family stuff to deal with so must people will immediately think of their own situation and leave it at that.
Only a really insensitive person would take it further. Everyone has got family stuff to deal with so must people will immediately think of their own situation and leave it at that.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
I don't endorse lying, but I would say nothing about my struggles with alcohol to anyone at work.
Coworker: "Oh, Allie! How do you feel? What happened?!"
Allie: "I haven't been feeling well, and I took some time to take care of it."
Coworker: "Well, okay, but...What happened?!"
Allie: "It's not personal, but I don't discuss such matters at work."
Coworker: "Oh, Allie! How do you feel? What happened?!"
Allie: "I haven't been feeling well, and I took some time to take care of it."
Coworker: "Well, okay, but...What happened?!"
Allie: "It's not personal, but I don't discuss such matters at work."
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Hi Allie and welcome to the forum!
How do you feel about your rehab experience? From my perspective you have made an excellent decision for yourself, health and long term well-being. Your life, body, health whatever is your personal business and there is no need to feel embarrassed or compelled to explain to others.
One of my favorite kids' books that I am reading to my daughters right now is about a little girl (figuratively), Molly Lou Melon, who is living life along with the advice of her grandma: "Walk as proudly as you can and the world will look up to you." The entire book is full of sweet advice and reminders to stand tall.
While I have not been to 28-day rehab as an employee, I have been out for surgeries etc. and I will report to you that whatever you choose to say will likely not be of concern. You could say "pinched nerve in the ear" and just let the talkers talk and the others tell you about their Aunt Aida who had that exact same thing.
Stand tall, Allie! Take a deep breath and try not to sweat it. Hang out here on SR and read. The Weekender Thread is full of sober characters with great advice as well.
How do you feel about your rehab experience? From my perspective you have made an excellent decision for yourself, health and long term well-being. Your life, body, health whatever is your personal business and there is no need to feel embarrassed or compelled to explain to others.
One of my favorite kids' books that I am reading to my daughters right now is about a little girl (figuratively), Molly Lou Melon, who is living life along with the advice of her grandma: "Walk as proudly as you can and the world will look up to you." The entire book is full of sweet advice and reminders to stand tall.
While I have not been to 28-day rehab as an employee, I have been out for surgeries etc. and I will report to you that whatever you choose to say will likely not be of concern. You could say "pinched nerve in the ear" and just let the talkers talk and the others tell you about their Aunt Aida who had that exact same thing.
Stand tall, Allie! Take a deep breath and try not to sweat it. Hang out here on SR and read. The Weekender Thread is full of sober characters with great advice as well.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Remember you were out for a health reason so it's no different than if you had surgery. A few hours in nobody will even think about it again. Let us know how it goes. You took a great step in going to rehab.
I think it is wise to keep the reason PRIVATE! Good decision.
I think it is wise to keep the reason PRIVATE! Good decision.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Welcome to SR, Allie; and welcome to your new life 
I agree with the others that there is no need to tell anyone who was/is not officially involved in organizing or endorsing your rehab stay, and that you never know when and how publishing such information could cause difficulties. Of course we always say that being honest is important in recovery, but not providing personal information about our health details in an office setting is not a lie. It's irrelevant in that context. You may have to provide some to your supervisors if necessary, but that sort of information exchange is typically regulated by clear rules that you find out about.
I also agree with Verte that people at work don't usually care really... it's more just curiosity and because, like you said, people enjoy gossip and drama. And often it's not even that, but people just don't think before sharing information and it's not with any real intention, or it's with good intention actually (they want you to feel better in the moment).
If I were you, I would not make up a story or explanation. If asked, I would simply say "thank you for asking, I've had some health issues but it's sorted now". I would be surprised if you got further inquiries about the nature of the problems if you handled it that way, but if you do, I would just say "I prefer to keep it personal". Then change subject. "Personal" must be acceptable in any social environment, and not an arrogant turn down of interest.
This post of yours reminds me a little bit of the many posts here where members ask how to handle offers for a drink, thinking that we need to provide an explanation why we don't drink. We don't.
I experienced it from the other side a bit once, maybe it helps you somewhat if I share.
I supervised a student in the past who had a serious break down once that gradually led to her having to take a medical leave to sort out private life issues, depression, and a budding alcohol problem. She shared all that with me openly, and we also had to provide some info on her official documentation that was submitted to offices for processing, but we never mentioned alcohol. Also, while she was away, a few people asked me about her absence while away, where she was and why etc. I always simply said what we had agreed on before her leave: "taking some time off dealing with personal life issues". I never got a single additional question even that way, behind her back.
If you keep it polite, I doubt anyone would want to push it further.
I agree with the others that there is no need to tell anyone who was/is not officially involved in organizing or endorsing your rehab stay, and that you never know when and how publishing such information could cause difficulties. Of course we always say that being honest is important in recovery, but not providing personal information about our health details in an office setting is not a lie. It's irrelevant in that context. You may have to provide some to your supervisors if necessary, but that sort of information exchange is typically regulated by clear rules that you find out about.
I also agree with Verte that people at work don't usually care really... it's more just curiosity and because, like you said, people enjoy gossip and drama. And often it's not even that, but people just don't think before sharing information and it's not with any real intention, or it's with good intention actually (they want you to feel better in the moment).
If I were you, I would not make up a story or explanation. If asked, I would simply say "thank you for asking, I've had some health issues but it's sorted now". I would be surprised if you got further inquiries about the nature of the problems if you handled it that way, but if you do, I would just say "I prefer to keep it personal". Then change subject. "Personal" must be acceptable in any social environment, and not an arrogant turn down of interest.
This post of yours reminds me a little bit of the many posts here where members ask how to handle offers for a drink, thinking that we need to provide an explanation why we don't drink. We don't.
I experienced it from the other side a bit once, maybe it helps you somewhat if I share.
I supervised a student in the past who had a serious break down once that gradually led to her having to take a medical leave to sort out private life issues, depression, and a budding alcohol problem. She shared all that with me openly, and we also had to provide some info on her official documentation that was submitted to offices for processing, but we never mentioned alcohol. Also, while she was away, a few people asked me about her absence while away, where she was and why etc. I always simply said what we had agreed on before her leave: "taking some time off dealing with personal life issues". I never got a single additional question even that way, behind her back.
If you keep it polite, I doubt anyone would want to push it further.
Stingy athlete recovery method
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 754
Hi Allie - Great news that you completed your treatment, and are taking all the right steps.
Alcohol is great at manufacturing social situations which are awkward and gossip-producing. Thank goodness such situations will soon be forever behind you.
Mel
Alcohol is great at manufacturing social situations which are awkward and gossip-producing. Thank goodness such situations will soon be forever behind you.
Mel
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 174
Hi Allie: I was in the exact situation a couple of years ago. I also did not tell co-workers and worked directly with HR when I went on leave. I was so nervous to come back to work for the same reasons as you, so I decided that if anyone asked, I would just say that I had a health issue I needed to take care of and leave it at that. When I came back nobody actually even asked why I was gone! They just asked "are you feeling better?" to which I would reply, yes, thanks so much for asking. That was it! As MelindaFlowers said, within a few hours everyone will forget about it...that's what happened in my situation Best of luck to you...it will be ok!
Best of luck to you...it will be ok!
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Originally Posted by Allie78 
Hello, I recently completed a 28-day treatment program and am set to go back to work in a week. I'm extremely nervous about this. I made the decision to attend rehab but didn't tell my coworkers. I worked directly with my HR department using FMLA. I just don't know how to handle the questions from coworkers when I return. I'm anxious about the gossip. I don't want to disclose where I've been. I'm sure there are assumptions of where I've been because I had been calling in sick and coming in hungover a lot, then up and left on medical leave without warning. Any advice on how to return to work without feeling embarrassed and at a loss for words when littered with questions about where I went?
I won't whitewash the situation. It will likely be tense at first but, as for my own situation, after a month of being back, things have been slowly getting closer to normal. I don't know if it will ever be the way it was before I dropped the bomb that I'm an alcoholic and was drunk on the job (!), but I think, slowly, I can rebuild enough trust that all those involved can feel it's safe to breathe again.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'd just say something along the lines of, "I had some health problems I needed to address. I'm feeling much better now, and I appreciate everything you guys did in my absence. Can you bring me up to speed on what I missed?" If there are further questions, just say you'd rather not discuss it, and switch the subject back to work topics.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
I did 30 days in rehab and worked directly with my short-term disability carrier. Even HR did not know the reason why I took leave, other than that it was "medical."
I was extremely anxious to go back to work, with all the same fears you have. The only thing my co-workers asked was, "are you feeling better?"
You don't have to explain anything. But you will likely not get all the questions you are expecting/fearing. Most people have the common sense not to ask about personal stuff at work.
Best of luck back out in the real world!
I was extremely anxious to go back to work, with all the same fears you have. The only thing my co-workers asked was, "are you feeling better?"
You don't have to explain anything. But you will likely not get all the questions you are expecting/fearing. Most people have the common sense not to ask about personal stuff at work.
Best of luck back out in the real world!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Good for you for doing what you needed to do.
Do not feel obligated to offer an explanation to co-workers about where you've been. They may or may not gossip about it, but they don't know and they don't need to know.
Do not feel obligated to offer an explanation to co-workers about where you've been. They may or may not gossip about it, but they don't know and they don't need to know.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
