Very Strange Problem
 

Okay, not sure what's happening w/me exactly???

I feel great today...happy & nearly feeling like a brand new person! I would say "feeling like my 'ol self" again, but my old self was always doing drugs..uuhgg lol! No, a new person! :)

Anyhoo, I got up bright & early ( which I've come to like, unlike earlier this mo., when I would wake up early & say "wtheck! It's only friggin 7am!" Lol! ) Posted a few captions here @ SR & put in an old 80's hair band dvd in to listen to!

This is when something very strange happened to me! I will give a lil background 1st.

For approximately 15yrs., prior to my drug use & abuse, I drank every wkend! I really can't say that I was an alcoholic, because when my hubby became a Brittle Type 1 Diabetic 11yrs. ago, I just quit. It felt more like a bad habit, than anything! And, after reading so many horror stories here @ SR ( which feel more like my drug addiction stories ) I just don't know? I hope this makes sense?

So, when I was ( & still am ) listening to my old fave hair bands, I felt ( feel ) like going out & partying! Wtheck? A 15yr. old trigger? Huh?

Thing is I really don't want to party. I'm far too old for those shenanigans ( will be 49yrs. old this wk. ) But, I do want to be able to listen to my music w/out feeling this way!

Does anyone have a clue? Because I sure don't!

Hi kzaug.

Not strange at all, rather normal I would say :) Many people could describe similar things here I'm pretty certain, myself included. It's basically related to how our brain/mind/memories work. When you listen to those old tunes that you encountered much earlier in your life, probably in the contexts that you remembered suddenly today (partying etc), it triggers the recall of those old emotional memories. They may have nothing to do with your current lifestyle, wishes, goals, values -- simply just memories and old emotions resurfacing. It's a very important phenomenon in relation to addiction recovery and relapse prevention in early sobriety because these memories can initiate urges out of the blue.

You can read about it online if you search for things like "cue addiction" or "cue reactivity". Here's wiki about it:
Cue reactivity - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Usually it is suggested that it's best to avoid these cues or triggers in early recovery. I heard many people say, and experienced it first hand, that it's hard to listen to old songs or watch films etc that serve as such reminders. The nostalgia might be pleasant on some level, but in people like us with addictions (similar in relation to old traumatic experiences) it comes with this "side effect". If you find it disturbing, perhaps better to avoid listening to those things for a while as the safest approach around it.

Glad to hear you are doing well otherwise, keep it up :)

Oh yes. I associate different music, situations, places with drinking and using. I'm not comfortable in hospitals and will go out of my way to schedule tests, etc. in other labs, etc. so I don't have to go in them. DOC opioids.

If it gets too heavy for you-come back to it. Like I said above-I have taken actions to avoid certain places at this point in my life to protect myself. It's ok. I can still go back one day and maybe one day you can listen to hair bands again.

Thx so much Haennie & Latte! :)

I'm very new still to this straight way of life ( actually been drugging & drinking since the age of 18!!! Yikes! :) )

But, I'm having a great day & feeling very optimistic! I actually got up & started dancing like I was young again lol!

Personally I prefer to subject myself to all possible triggers to learn to deal with them as well as transcend my memories as part of my healing.

I know I won't drink over them, and find it empowering. I doze myself tho, it's not like I'm going to a nude bar anytime soon to listen to some Def Leopard. Yikes!!

Lol, Patman!
Not sure what works for me yet, just know I'm in a great mood today ( listening to Accept Balls to the Wall @ the moment!! Ha ha! )

It's gonna take time to build new habits, listening to music, going to see live music, all without alcohol.

Like anything it's going to take practice, new routines will take time.

It's also not a problem to have these thoughts, thoughts are thoughts, they don't create hangovers in the morning!! :)

Happens to me when I listen to the blues as well, I'm thinking if I just keep listening new thoughts and feeling will become associated with the music

Not a strange problem at all. We all associate certain songs, smells or sights with significant experiences from our past. Every time I hear a certain Clapton song that was played for my first dance at my wedding with my now ex-wife, I am inundated with a flood of memories. Very normal part of being human. When it comes to things I associate with drinking, I try to avoid them this early in recovery. I need more time and distance from my drinking days to establish new associations with sobriety. FWIW.

Not so strange after all! :)

Just something I'm not quite accompanied to yet. Over the past 10yrs of drug induced , thought numbing, seemingly lifeless existance, I think that I had actually forgotten all the joyful moments in my life.

Strange what you awaken to w/a clear mind! But, I'm really liking it!!! :)

Thx a lot for all your input! I really appreciate it! :)

Nope not strange music and certain smells do it to me at times. Glad you are having a good day!

I wonder if cue reactivity applies to people as well. Or is it only inanimate objects?

We all have feelings/associations with music. Music is a strong adhesive to memories and activities associated to them. Chances are your dopamine levels increase with this particular song etc..iit happens a lot..but temporary.


Ever notice sometimes we change a station if a negative memory is tied to a song?

Ty Della! :)

Imo, Art, people as well ( a long lost buddy ya used to party w/? possibly. )

Yes, that would definitely cause a reaction in me if I saw an old drinking buddy or even heard their name.

Makes perfect sense to me, One! Journey brings me back to 2011, when I locked myself in my room for a mo., withdrawing from benzos ( & what I listened to a lot this mo.! ) But, I still manage to love them! :):):)

Definitely people as well. The classic scenario is the drug dealer, or friends we used to drink/use with. But can be anyone and pretty much anything that can be perceived by our senses and so generate memories. Even thoughts. For example, the other day I had a craving for alcohol after not experiencing any at all for months. I could track the trigger down to a series of thoughts in my mind pretty much immediately.

As for people, it works for me even in the form of projections. Means, sometimes someone in my current reality reminds me of someone else that I associated with drinking in the past... and there you go. People can actually be some of the most efficient triggers given that we have strong emotional memories associated with them. This is only one reason why it's advised to avoid old drinking buddies, apart from the obvious possible presence of alcohol.

I've managed to associate techno and house music with working out instead of clubbing and getting loaded. Go figure!

Maybe start listening to an era that was pre or post-party days.

I am in my 6th day and music has always been related to booze with me, perhaps when I discovered the Doors and Jack Daniels at the same time. I am dreading going to a gig it will feel so strange as live music and beer went hand in hand for so long.