How long until you felt comfortable in yourself again/ in sobriety?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 226
How long until you felt comfortable in yourself again/ in sobriety?
Being sober is taking a lot more getting used to than what I expected, I hope things improve with time. Im 3 months 24 days sober today.
Im just finding life a bit boreing and flat, everything seemed so much more fun with a few beers likd watching a movie etc.
Im a bit sort of like "who is this guy"?
Ive also beem feeling pretty vulnerable to the world.
How long until you felt comfortable in your sobriety?
Im just finding life a bit boreing and flat, everything seemed so much more fun with a few beers likd watching a movie etc.
Im a bit sort of like "who is this guy"?
Ive also beem feeling pretty vulnerable to the world.
How long until you felt comfortable in your sobriety?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi Justin - it took me about 3 months...but thats not to say there's anything wrong with you...we're all different.
One thing I did work on was building a new sober life. I think thats very important.
IMO there's really no excuse for boredom in this day and age - there's always scads of stuff to do...sometimes you need to think out of the box to get started tho
Here are some ideas:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
If my experience is any guide, the more you 'put yourself out there' the less vulnerable you should feel
D
One thing I did work on was building a new sober life. I think thats very important.
IMO there's really no excuse for boredom in this day and age - there's always scads of stuff to do...sometimes you need to think out of the box to get started tho
Here are some ideas:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
If my experience is any guide, the more you 'put yourself out there' the less vulnerable you should feel
D
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Dee would know about this......
Feeling good is all about acting good.
It doesn't happen by osmosis in my experience.
Volunteer to do good stuff.
Go mow the lawn for an elderly person, soup kitchen work...... It's a long list so I'll leave it to your imagination.
Self esteem comes from esteemable acts.
Feeling good is all about acting good.
It doesn't happen by osmosis in my experience.
Volunteer to do good stuff.
Go mow the lawn for an elderly person, soup kitchen work...... It's a long list so I'll leave it to your imagination.
Self esteem comes from esteemable acts.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Take a motorcycle course if you don't know
how to ride. There's folks in recovery that
ride and take trips going out to eat or just
riding to see the beauty of our country.
Gardening is also fun. Plant vegetables,
flowers, have a water fountain....nothing
sissy about getting your hands in Mother
Earth and communing with Nature.
Place bird feeders out to feed our many
species of our feather friends and watch
them come to visit you.
My little garden of paradise is right here
in my back yard. It is inclosed with a high
white fence for privacy and can retreat
there for peace and Serenity.
Gotta luv ALL the many gifts of Nature
while living a recovery life. It's amazing.
how to ride. There's folks in recovery that
ride and take trips going out to eat or just
riding to see the beauty of our country.
Gardening is also fun. Plant vegetables,
flowers, have a water fountain....nothing
sissy about getting your hands in Mother
Earth and communing with Nature.
Place bird feeders out to feed our many
species of our feather friends and watch
them come to visit you.
My little garden of paradise is right here
in my back yard. It is inclosed with a high
white fence for privacy and can retreat
there for peace and Serenity.
Gotta luv ALL the many gifts of Nature
while living a recovery life. It's amazing.
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
I think many if not most suffer from the delusion that sobriety will make things better. It does not. If one is drunk one day and sober the next there is not much different, well except for maybe the weather. What sobriety gives me is the opportunity to fully participate in life and MAKE things better. It gives me the opportunity to fully take advantage of this opportunity to experience the world as a "being".
I began feeling comfortable as I started facing some fears, taking a few risks and doing and accomplishing some things that I wanted to do. Exercise and participation in extra-curricular activities has been crucial.
The reason that drinking is so hard to quit is that the results are immediate. Pour and get a result. They are not real and typically the result we were seeking never comes about. Just a temporary buzz. Living sober and getting results takes a bit of time. The results however have a building effect and are lasting. The results of drinking while immediate and maybe pleasant just keep us sliding further down a deep dark pit.
I began feeling comfortable as I started facing some fears, taking a few risks and doing and accomplishing some things that I wanted to do. Exercise and participation in extra-curricular activities has been crucial.
The reason that drinking is so hard to quit is that the results are immediate. Pour and get a result. They are not real and typically the result we were seeking never comes about. Just a temporary buzz. Living sober and getting results takes a bit of time. The results however have a building effect and are lasting. The results of drinking while immediate and maybe pleasant just keep us sliding further down a deep dark pit.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by totfit 
I think many if not most suffer from the delusion that sobriety will make things better. It does not. If one is drunk one day and sober the next there is not much different, well except for maybe the weather. What sobriety gives me is the opportunity to fully participate in life and MAKE things better. It gives me the opportunity to fully take advantage of this opportunity to experience the world as a "being".
I began feeling comfortable as I started facing some fears, taking a few risks and doing and accomplishing some things that I wanted to do. Exercise and participation in extra-curricular activities has been crucial.
The reason that drinking is so hard to quit is that the results are immediate. Pour and get a result. They are not real and typically the result we were seeking never comes about. Just a temporary buzz. Living sober and getting results takes a bit of time. The results however have a building effect and are lasting. The results of drinking while immediate and maybe pleasant just keep us sliding further down a deep dark pit.
I began feeling comfortable as I started facing some fears, taking a few risks and doing and accomplishing some things that I wanted to do. Exercise and participation in extra-curricular activities has been crucial.
The reason that drinking is so hard to quit is that the results are immediate. Pour and get a result. They are not real and typically the result we were seeking never comes about. Just a temporary buzz. Living sober and getting results takes a bit of time. The results however have a building effect and are lasting. The results of drinking while immediate and maybe pleasant just keep us sliding further down a deep dark pit.
Excellent points about it’s about!
BE WELL
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Recovery is a never ending journey. When I find things in my life that I don't like it is up to me to change them. In reality I had to change most everything. New friends, hobbies, and life
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
It's hard to say exactly how long it took, because it was such a gradual process.
Have you read up about PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome)? I think what you're feeling is a normal part of adjusting to being sober and it will get better if you stay sober. How long it takes varies from person to person. I found during the first few months that there were times that I just felt bad- no matter how much I tried to be active and do things to make it better. Cut yourself some slack and try to remember that your brain is healing and this is just part of getting through that.
I found that there were things I did that helped the process. Focusing on eating healthy food and not letting myself get too hungry, getting a little exercise & a lot of sleep really helped me. Also, just setting small goals for each day and writing down my plan for the day in my planner and just focusing on getting that day's stuff done really helped me.
But I can totally relate to how you're feeling. At times, it felt like I couldn't enjoy anything. I felt uninterested in anything, kind of depressed and grey feeling. As I recall, those feelings started going away maybe at 4-6 months.
I'm almost two years in and I can assure you that is all long gone and my life is more interesting now that it ever was when I was drinking. I do so much more now and am active in my life.
Keep at it and try new things and you'll find life opening up for you in a way you've forgotten was possible.
Have you read up about PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome)? I think what you're feeling is a normal part of adjusting to being sober and it will get better if you stay sober. How long it takes varies from person to person. I found during the first few months that there were times that I just felt bad- no matter how much I tried to be active and do things to make it better. Cut yourself some slack and try to remember that your brain is healing and this is just part of getting through that.
I found that there were things I did that helped the process. Focusing on eating healthy food and not letting myself get too hungry, getting a little exercise & a lot of sleep really helped me. Also, just setting small goals for each day and writing down my plan for the day in my planner and just focusing on getting that day's stuff done really helped me.
But I can totally relate to how you're feeling. At times, it felt like I couldn't enjoy anything. I felt uninterested in anything, kind of depressed and grey feeling. As I recall, those feelings started going away maybe at 4-6 months.
I'm almost two years in and I can assure you that is all long gone and my life is more interesting now that it ever was when I was drinking. I do so much more now and am active in my life.
Keep at it and try new things and you'll find life opening up for you in a way you've forgotten was possible.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
My experience is with Hawks on this. It took, and still takes positive, constructive actions for me to feel good about myself. Much more this, and it still and always works, rather than time.
I don't tend to have lots of self-esteem issues as an adult (I did in my childhood), much more often intense guilt when I do things that are misaligned with my values. I actually like this because it always reminds me of standing back a little, thinking about where I am, and trying to do things differently.
I think that the initial lousy feelings early in sobriety are also often linked to high anxiety, depression, etc, which won't necessarily be corrected with doing the right things since they are caused by chemical imbalances. It's a good idea to address these if they don't dissipate in a few weeks I think.
I don't tend to have lots of self-esteem issues as an adult (I did in my childhood), much more often intense guilt when I do things that are misaligned with my values. I actually like this because it always reminds me of standing back a little, thinking about where I am, and trying to do things differently.
I think that the initial lousy feelings early in sobriety are also often linked to high anxiety, depression, etc, which won't necessarily be corrected with doing the right things since they are caused by chemical imbalances. It's a good idea to address these if they don't dissipate in a few weeks I think.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 285
At this point in my sobriety, I still have trouble feeling comfortable with my emotions and this can be extremely hard. I want to pick up a drink so badly and it is almost torture that starts brewing in my mind. Instead of giving in, I'll do something productive until it calms down in my head.
Some days are definitely easier than others and I know sobriety will make it easier to deal with over time.
Some days are definitely easier than others and I know sobriety will make it easier to deal with over time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
Originally Posted by mrjustin
Thanks, some rwally good advice there. Thats exactly what I needed to hear. I need to get out there to explore and enjoy the new me its not going to come to me lying in bed or sitting on the couch.
I do not have money problems and can afford the lifestyle i am currently living. my love life does not exist, another story within itself.
I have started making a list, a "today list", i do not have a honey do list, he is a narcissist AH and would produce a much bigger, nicely printed, organized list which would put my list to shame. hahaha
this weekend i plan to start cleaning the garage and thinn
ing out my closet and join daughters gym and start diet, seriously, or maybe not...yes , go do something...cuz change happens within
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
I have days still where I fake it. I know, it seems strange but I find that if I act happy, it gets me closer to being happy. Not perfect but ok.
I still get uncomfortable with my emotions but today I'm ok with that. I voice those feelings. I can put names to my feelings! I tell people about them. People who care about me don't mind hearing that I'm feeling uncomfortable, sad, anxious, etc. My boyfriend often changes stuff up when I voice my feelings. We can always come back to a serious subject, or get out of wherever we are. I don't do well in crowds and never have. If I start feeling anxious, my boyfriend doesn't mind leaving.
You'll get there. One day at a time.
I still get uncomfortable with my emotions but today I'm ok with that. I voice those feelings. I can put names to my feelings! I tell people about them. People who care about me don't mind hearing that I'm feeling uncomfortable, sad, anxious, etc. My boyfriend often changes stuff up when I voice my feelings. We can always come back to a serious subject, or get out of wherever we are. I don't do well in crowds and never have. If I start feeling anxious, my boyfriend doesn't mind leaving.
You'll get there. One day at a time.
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