I don't care ...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 349
There is nothing in my prior posts that wants to be mean or nasty to anyone. Maybe me ... but not anyone else. Sorry, you can't hang me up like the cross. I am nice to everyone. Always was. Still am. I don't even think I am a bad person. Just do not get why others are not nice to me? And if that makes me selfish ... or whatever ... than so be it.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
I think you have to realize that some people are just the way they are.
Just because you do things for people, doesn't mean they'll be nice, much less return the favor. You have to do what works for you. If you don't feel like being nice or going out of your way to do something, don't. If you decide to do something nice, don't expect anything like what Dee alluded to. Just because you do what you want to do doesn't make you selfish. However to expect for people to be nice to you because you're doing something is not the case. Look after yourself first.
Just because you do things for people, doesn't mean they'll be nice, much less return the favor. You have to do what works for you. If you don't feel like being nice or going out of your way to do something, don't. If you decide to do something nice, don't expect anything like what Dee alluded to. Just because you do what you want to do doesn't make you selfish. However to expect for people to be nice to you because you're doing something is not the case. Look after yourself first.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Cecilia44 
Come on Dee. I didn't insult you. I didn't swear at you.
You're clearly in a great deal of pain. It might help to think about what you can do to change that, rather than shouting at the Universe for being unfair.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 111
Originally Posted by Dee74
I wouldnt let anyone who abused me like that be close to me.
That was one of the things I changed in recovery.
Another of the things I changed was expectations...I used to do things because I wanted people to like me and because I had the expectation that I'd get things done in return.
All that did was set me up for decades of resentment.
Now I do things because I want to. The act is the thing and its not dependent on the response.
I dunno, that just works better for me?
D
That was one of the things I changed in recovery.
Another of the things I changed was expectations...I used to do things because I wanted people to like me and because I had the expectation that I'd get things done in return.
All that did was set me up for decades of resentment.
Now I do things because I want to. The act is the thing and its not dependent on the response.
I dunno, that just works better for me?
D
For myself, I know I don't tolerate intolerable behavior from anyone in my life, no matter who they are. I only try to have people in my life that like me, to the extent I can control that. One of the greatest powers is simply the power to walk away instead of trying to win every argument. People will say or do crazy things sometimes but I've gotten good at just letting it roll off me instead of bottling it up. All of that is easier said than done, but it is worth the effort.
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