Roselian

I dont know if i am an alcoholic. I just struggle so much. I function ok. I work now and have some friends. But i still have the urge to have a "blow out!" .

Its like i am keeping a lid at my emotion and i need some kind of acting out.

I dont have boyfriend or children or any close friends. The reason is that even though i really want those things.
well .

I dont know.

I just cant do it. Tonight i just got tired of being "good" and bought a lot of vodka.".

Gonnachange

Sorry, wrong thread.

Soberwolf

Thinking about drinking wanting to 'blow out' ?

you bought a lot of vodka....this answers your question

Hi Roselian i urge you to pour it away it simply isnt going to solve anything

get active on the forum interact it doesnt have to be like this

Dee74

Binge drinkers can be alcoholics too.

In the end tho, the term doesn't matter as much as accepting you have a problem.

If you needed 'a blow out', maybe you need better tools for stress than booze Roselian?

Roselian

I am just in so much pain. My mom is dead and my stepdad is in love with me and wants me to have sex with him. He even wants to pay me.

Otherwise i like my job and struggle through the week. I keep up this stupid front.

I have been sober for several weeks but i just got so hmm tired with everything. I cant be sober and alone for the rest of my life. I want to meet someone and not be alone. So next week i will at least go out to a bar or something. Not sitting home alone and drinking vodka.

Dee74

I'm sorry your mom passed. If you live with your stepdad can you find a way to move out? Thats sounds a really bad situation to be in, for anyone, and you've been in it for a long time.

Did you ever speak to your real dad about it?

D

Thepatman

The situation with your step dad is really not good. Part of your sobriety plan should be to get away from him, getting your own place or something.

As for meeting someone, it's normal. But you might want to work on yourself first or it could create issues, in my 15 cents opinion.

You can hurry love, you just have to wait for things to fall in place. First things first, dump the booze, learn how to be happy sober.

You totally can do this, rooting for ya

Roselian

I know. I am just so loney and he shows me love and cares about me. I at least someone cares about me.

Robinz

Hi Roselian
Do you have any hobbies or creative outlets of any kind?

Dee74

I really hope you can get out of that situation Roselian.

I'm sorry but it doesn't sound like love to me - it sounds like you are being manipulated, exploited and used.

If you got out of that situation you could meet new friends and start new healthy relationships.

D

MIRecovery

When I gave up drinking I got all of the things that you feel are lacking in your life.It didn't happen in a day but it did happen.

There was a sober world out there that I didn't know existed. A world of love and true friendship.

My sponsor says, "Alcohol splits us off from the herd and then it kills us."

alaina742

I know you're probably young, but still. You don't want to meet someone in a bar.

Roselian

I dont have anyone. The sad truth is i dont have any friends or a loved one. I am all alone.

The only one i got is my dad but he is sick and frail and I have to take care of him.

My stepdad wants me and takes care of me exept he makes me sick.

I dont have the confidence to make friends or get a boyfriend. The only people that i feel secure with are other drunks. People who are low lifes like me,

Dee74

It's hard to make changes when you're drinking.

I hope you'll stick around on SR a little more - getting sober might not solve all your problems but it might help you to sort some stuff out?

D

Roselian

so just stop drinking and things wil be ok. ? thats not true. I have to sort my life and maybe than I dont want to drink.

Dee74

That's not what I said

I said, getting sober might not solve all your problems but it might help you to sort some stuff out?

I think in order to sort out your life you'll have to stop drinking first.

D.

Robinz

Roselian,
I am so sorry you feel that way about yourself.
Try getting involved in anything that interests you and does not involve drinking. Try to think of one ting you could do to get out and meet people or enjoy yourself without drinking. Can you think of one thing?

Roselian

da

PinkGstring

Join a sports club or something to get away from the house and make new friends. And erm I would talk to your teacher about what your stepdead is doing and saying. Cos that is just not right!
How old are you? If I may ask?