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One beer, one drink, its over.

Old 03-19-2015, 12:55 PM
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One beer, one drink, its over.

I have a question for folks on this site and I certainly don't want to bring up bad feelings, or offend anyone. That being said, my major is in Biology, and my minor is in Psychology. So, I'm a science guy.

I have never completely understood individuals who have stated clearly that once they have a beer, a glass of wine, a drink...its over. They simply cannot stop until the train crashes. Now, to a certain extent I get it, because I had an uncle who went sober for anywhere from 2-6 years at a time, but once he had that first glass of whiskey, it was 6-10 weeks of shenanigans or nonsense or whatever you want to call it. The last few times he was found in the isle of a cub foods, with a half a bottle of mouthwash next to him.

For those of you that have been through the ups and downs, is this how it really is?

I'm not trying to pull information out of you that maybe you don't want to share. I will tell you embarrassingly, that years ago, I used to use cocaine on occasion. When i did, I/we didn't stop until it was gone. Save some for tomorrow? forget it, use it until tomorrow. to take it a step further, these guys didn't use in grams, it was stealing from kilo's so it was bad. That whole life is completely behind me, but I can't imagine drinking a beer and not stopping. But at the same time, I can't imagine doing coke for 4 hrs and stopping. Is there a similarity?
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:04 PM
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The phenomenon of craving. Some have it whenever they drink. I've been struck by it, but not every time I took a drink.

I believe this though, the best way to avoid the second drink, and all those thereafter, is just avoid the first one.
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:08 PM
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For me there is a certain BAC I reach (which is not much) and I turn insane. Maby more than one drink and less than 2. There is no telling who I will turn into. Always ends taking much further than I want to go.
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:09 PM
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Carl, if that is a picture of your dog, he's darn near as cute as mine. haha.
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:10 PM
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I quite when I still could physically moderate my drinking. I quite because I realized I had no desire to and all I really wanted to do was drink. If I kept going I knew I would lose that ability. I am not saying that I had control of my drinking at all just that if I wanted to stop at one or two I could. Drinking to me now was getting drunk.
I remember a post about some guy who would go to AA and not understand what they meant by "no mental defense against the first drink". He ended up going back to drinking and the next time he got sober he knew what that meant and it was much harder.
I guess is what I am saying is that this is progressive for most of us and the sooner you figure out you need to quit the better your chances are.
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:12 PM
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My son says if it wasn't a controlled situation (out to dinner with gf's parents for example) then he just wouldn't stop. Which really means he didn't want to stop or no one he wanted to impress would be around him. He definitely drank more "with the guys" or alone.
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:14 PM
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for me, what it means isn't that I can't have one drink and stop. I can. I've done it hundreds of times.

and actually, that's the problem.... because I have that EVIDENCE that I'm able to stop.... I used it as evidence I don't have "a problem" for many years.

My REAL issue is this; I cannot consistently predict where that first drink will lead. Taken over time, if I allow even ONE drink, my history demonstrates it will eventually lead to an increasing pattern of intake - until I'm right back to binge drinking or daily drinking in secret. Each time a bit worse than the last.

I think for some it is literal; if they have a drink - they will be off to the races on a binge. Every. Time. It was never that way for me. But just like the stock market has skyrocketing highs and devastating crashes - yet over time grows at a constant rate; My drinking too had its "highs" of reasonable use and it's tragic lows of binge drinking, yet over time grew more and more negative in its impact to my life.
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:15 PM
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For me, once I take the first drink I don't want to stop. I CAN stop- it's not like some crazy physical impulse that overtakes me. I just don't want to stop. I get the taste for it and enjoy the feeling it gives me so I want to keep drinking. Then the more I drink the more I want to. If that makes sense

edit- just re-reading this I realize I've written it in the current tense. I've not actually had a drink for 2 years and 4 months so weird how I didn't write in the past tense

Last edited by ReadyAtLast; 03-19-2015 at 01:18 PM. Reason: clarification!!
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:17 PM
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Kilo's of cocaine in a night??

If I were to have one vodka now my life would be over. I wouldn't stop.
This is why I have chosen to remain sober for the rest of my life.
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:19 PM
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It has to do with how certain people (alcoholics) process alcohol. Some, (due to genetics or high alcohol intake over a period of time) physically process it in such a way that more alcohol is needed to 'counteract' the unpleasant effects of the metabolites of the first drink. Then subsequent drinks are needed etc. You can find all sorts of information about this online.
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:20 PM
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
Carl, if that is a picture of your dog, he's darn near as cute as mine. haha.
Wilma Girl. She'd gone now. She was the sweetest dog ever.
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:20 PM
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Hi Carl. I don't know about coke but I could have a point of speed and save some for the next day or a tab of acid.

With alcohol, I have been known to just have one or two drinks and call it a night, but that has always been in situations where I was expected to remain under control. Get me alone on a Saturday with nothing happening and I'll have three beers. Then six. Nine. Perhaps I'll start on the rum. One bottle. Black out. Sunday - top of the list on waking up is to buy more rum. A couple bottles then nothing matters for the next few days or weeks.

So while technically i could have one or two then stop, It's just safer not to start in the first place.

-- edit - this sounds like I can control my drinking. I can't. Right situation to begun drinking and after that it doesn't matter what situation. Missing work - last year I missed my own birthday. All the family were there but me. I don't really know why.
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:22 PM
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Originally Posted by FreeOwl View Post
for me, what it means isn't that I can't have one drink and stop. I can. I've done it hundreds of times.

and actually, that's the problem.... because I have that EVIDENCE that I'm able to stop.... I used it as evidence I don't have "a problem" for many years.

My REAL issue is this; I cannot consistently predict where that first drink will lead. Taken over time, if I allow even ONE drink, my history demonstrates it will eventually lead to an increasing pattern of intake - until I'm right back to binge drinking or daily drinking in secret. Each time a bit worse than the last.

I think for some it is literal; if they have a drink - they will be off to the races on a binge. Every. Time. It was never that way for me. But just like the stock market has skyrocketing highs and devastating crashes - yet over time grows at a constant rate; My drinking too had its "highs" of reasonable use and it's tragic lows of binge drinking, yet over time grew more and more negative in its impact to my life.
this is exactly it for me.
awesome way to put it FO
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:26 PM
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I used to be fine with a light buzz, which (believe it or not) was 1 beer. I was, proudly a light weight. Drank once every couple of months. 10 years later it's like once I get that light buzz, I go for the heavy buzz. And then I think (bc alcohol lessens the ability to make sound decisions) "If this is good MORE MUST FEEL BETTER! And, hours later, I'm missing parts of the evening and falling into bed with my head in my hands to stop the spins. So, I'd say that's pretty accurate.
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:33 PM
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Hello Thomas,

I started out doing drugs. Didn't drink. Gave up drugs. Didn't drink. Having an addictive personality the drink eventually found me. Gave up cigarettes, too. Before stopping drinking. I just always needed "something." For relief. Hah!

One drink was never enough, 1000 too many. For awhile I could moderate. I crossed over the fence. Then I no longer had a choice. I couldn't control my intake anymore.

I have an "allergy" to alcohol. Whatever you want to call it, I cannot drink safely. I crave more than I can safely use. For me to live a life, it has to be alcohol and drug free.

I am thankful that the craving has been lifted.

Best Regards to you!
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Crasfd View Post
Kilo's of cocaine in a night??

If I were to have one vodka now my life would be over. I wouldn't stop.
This is why I have chosen to remain sober for the rest of my life.
Not kilos of cocaine a night, we would just steal from the kilos and replace ounces of coke with crap. Yeah, pretty disgusting. But it wasn't my coke, so who am I to judge.
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:56 PM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
Wilma Girl. She'd gone now. She was the sweetest dog ever.
Sorry to hear that Carl. She's beautiful. Jeff
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Old 03-19-2015, 02:01 PM
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Originally Posted by INgal View Post
My son says if it wasn't a controlled situation (out to dinner with gf's parents for example) then he just wouldn't stop. Which really means he didn't want to stop or no one he wanted to impress would be around him. He definitely drank more "with the guys" or alone.
To me, that's the trust factor I don't have with myself anymore. I don't want to drink alcohol around other people. Sad. I'd rather drink soda.
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Old 03-19-2015, 02:04 PM
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Originally Posted by DrunkenDonuts View Post
Hi Carl. I don't know about coke but I could have a point of speed and save some for the next day or a tab of acid.

With alcohol, I have been known to just have one or two drinks and call it a night, but that has always been in situations where I was expected to remain under control. Get me alone on a Saturday with nothing happening and I'll have three beers. Then six. Nine. Perhaps I'll start on the rum. One bottle. Black out. Sunday - top of the list on waking up is to buy more rum. A couple bottles then nothing matters for the next few days or weeks.

So while technically i could have one or two then stop, It's just safer not to start in the first place.

-- edit - this sounds like I can control my drinking. I can't. Right situation to begun drinking and after that it doesn't matter what situation. Missing work - last year I missed my own birthday. All the family were there but me. I don't really know why.

Drunkendonuts, I hear ya, but that's sad. I think you know that by now. I understand, and I hope you can turn it around. Its not right. I've been there.
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Old 03-19-2015, 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by FreeOwl View Post
for me, what it means isn't that I can't have one drink and stop. I can. I've done it hundreds of times.

and actually, that's the problem.... because I have that EVIDENCE that I'm able to stop.... I used it as evidence I don't have "a problem" for many years.

My REAL issue is this; I cannot consistently predict where that first drink will lead. Taken over time, if I allow even ONE drink, my history demonstrates it will eventually lead to an increasing pattern of intake - until I'm right back to binge drinking or daily drinking in secret. Each time a bit worse than the last.

I think for some it is literal; if they have a drink - they will be off to the races on a binge. Every. Time. It was never that way for me. But just like the stock market has skyrocketing highs and devastating crashes - yet over time grows at a constant rate; My drinking too had its "highs" of reasonable use and it's tragic lows of binge drinking, yet over time grew more and more negative in its impact to my life.
Free owl, you deserve a gold medal for your honesty. First step in my opinion. Jeff
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