I Hate Life Right Now
 

I feel so confused with evetrything. Nothing in my life is working out. My drinking had got a lot better, met this amazing woman and feel for her like a bag of rocks. Now I did know she had drinking issue, but was getting help and I was so impressed. She was my angel in disguise. So, we both just planned everything aspect of our lives together. Life was amazing. Then she slipped big time and I finally get the full truth. She got drunk and cheated on me. Than, I find all this out after she flys here from over 3000 miles to be with me. I love her people. I forgave this and gave her a chance and ways to do it, alcohol at the center. Now im finding all these other lies, small and big, that are coming out. I dont know what to believe. Now shes doing some things to move herself forward. Yet, im heart broken and just losing it. What to do?

I'm very sorry! I truly hope things get better!

Im sorry for what your going through

That sounds like a sad situation and maybe it's time to pause and think it through. I'm sorry about what's happened.

that's a bummer of a situation all right.

From the sounds of it, if it were me I'd be cutting my losses and working on healing and moving on. Doesn't sound like a person ready for a relationship, nor a person healthy to be tangled up with emotionally or otherwise.

Ugh...that's rough. It's like the worst case scenario of all your fears. I've had a bad experience like that. I think everyone gets their heart crushed like that once or twice in life. Sucks tho. Sorry man.

Thanks for everyones support. Im so confused about what to do. The woman feel in love hss to be there, alcohol changes her. Yet, even during those times of no drinking there was lies told to me. So, is alcohol the factor or did I miss read her true love? Or due to them having happened at a time in the past, is it alright. The cheating was straight when she was drunk. Only once from what I know.....what do I do.

To msny questions that I can answer for myself, let alone her. I just know the way I did feel.

She prpromises to get help, but what do? When r things right? Will this in two months happen again.

My head and soul hurt so bad! I want it over

Hi.
You have a lot to be upset about, the problem is we cannot change other people unless they want to change them self.
Also if your lady friend is an alcoholic part of the difficulty is that alcoholics have a bad reputation with being honest, even with themselves, as a protective measure.

I know it’s tough to make a decision with all the emotional involvement. With time it gets better.

BE WELL

Ditto. Think it through, thoroughly. I wish you the best.

What about not being in a relationship with a woman who cheats on you and lies as naturally as she breathes?

It's a very easy thing to get involved in a relationship in early sobriety. A great place to hide and not focus on what I'm doing to protect my sobriety, and to avoid taking care of other areas in my life that need my immediate attention.

If this is how she is behaving when the relationship is new I wouldn't expect it to get better. I would expect it to get worse.

I wish you luck but I would cut her loose and find someone who deserves the sober you.

Hi MTB

I'm really sorry.

Relationships are hard at the best of times - for those of us with addiction problems we can almost get addicted to other person and the relationship...and we fall into denial, we bargain trying to find ways to moderate...we try and manage something thats unmanageable.

You can love toxic things too. I think we all understand that here.

Sometimes you just gotta cut yourself free and swim on, man.

D

.

I've been down this road before many years ago. Things never got better-they got worse.

I moved on and am so glad because I found a wonderful woman that I've been very happy with for 15 years. I wish you the best.

Focus on yourself and move on your sobriety is most important now not a person that makes life hard for you, things are already hard enough without all the drama she's causing. Stay strong mate
Hugs from central Australia, the heart the soul the centre xx

I was in love with a women once who did similar things in our "relationship." The reason I put "relationship" in quotes is because I finally realized that I was the only one of us in a relationship. I'm not sure what she was in.

They say love is blind and I know I was. Her getting pregnant over a summer break from college was kind of a clue for me. I started to see clearly many of her behaviors that I had been blind to, or ignored before, that were not part of my value system. She flunked out of college and I didn't see her for a year. Then she contacted me about starting over and we spent several hours in a restaurant talking. Just before we left the restaurant, I concluded that there was no future for us, and politely told her so.

That was a tough decision, but she had hurt me deeply and I realized I could never trust her again. And 6 months later I met the girl that I've now been married to for almost 30 years.