Hereandnow2

Just coming back from a cruise to the Bahamas and headed to Fort Lauderdale for a couple more days. I'm with my husband and two boys and have had a great time except that damn AV I. The back of my head! I can't believe at 9 months sober it seems like I just got sober! It's been on my mind so much. I'm reminding myself of hangover drew mornings and memories with my boys. So much more important than alcohol so why can't I get it out of my head?! Part of me wants the vacation over so I stop thinking about it! That's sad really. The trip has been awesome in so many ways but still it lurks.

SoberLeigh

I promise, Hereandnow, that AV is going to calm down dramatically; right now, it feels especially threatened by your success and is putting in extra effort and time to win.

Keep at it; this activity is temporary.

Keep embracing your beautiful sobriety.

Hereandnow2

Thanks SL! Those of you with more time under your belt. Did you struggle a lot during vacations? What helped? Two more nights. I'm trying to go us in being more engaged with my boys and husband when I crave. Play more, ect.

Alynn

This is one of my worries! I'm so glad you got through it and had a great time regardless of stinking AV!

SoberLeigh

I had one vacation during the first year and it was especially problematic; I was 4.5 months into sobriety and it was the closest I came to caving. I kept reminding myself how far I had come (although I was still foggy-brained and suffering from lethargy and hadn't remotely begun to see the true benefits of sobriety) and how much I really didn't want to go back to that soulless time.

I am eternally grateful that I didn't give in; I could not begin to know or imagine the goodness that was to come. You are going to be amazed how wonderful sustained sobriety and true recovery are.

So I guess the only tool I can offer is faith. Believe in what is to come.

Hang in there, Here. You can do this.

freshstart57

If you recognize these thoughts as AV, then by definition they are not you. It wants a drunken holiday, not you. You want a life without the misery of alcoholism in it, a life with some peace and joy and happiness in it. It wants the door left open for just another couple of drinks, just this one time.

If you recognize these thoughts as AV, then let the AV blather and squirm and whine away. It can't do a simple single thing, and as such it is truly and literally powerless. You decide what actions are taken, not it.

When you come to understand this, the AV shrinks from an elephant to a kitty cat, to a mouse, to a mosquito, to a gnat, to a mite. At some point, it is completely irrelevant to you and to your actions. You are in charge, and no AV of any kind can touch you. All you need to do is absolutely nothing.

You can do this. Absolutely. You can quit forever, and the AV can blather. So what. Onward with you!

Hereandnow2

SL you are awesome! Thanks for sharing your experience.

Hereandnow2

Fresh thanks for your pep talk. So true it is not me it's this disease trying to rob me of more time with my family.

freshstart57

Exactly. And any doubt in your own resolve or commitment is another side of the same rotten penny because it has the same effect as a wishful thought of that cocktail. It just makes it that much easier to make the choice to drink.

You are pretty quick to recognize the thoughts of drinking as AV, and that's a good thing. Try extending that net to include thoughts of doubt in your ability to follow through or to stay the course. You can choose to refuse to drink for a moment, I am sure of it. Just understand that you can choose to refuse to drink for good too, and the feeling of panic when you consider this is....Yep, you got it. It's AV. Not you.

You deserve to have a family, and they deserve to have you! Believe in yourself, and make sure to enjoy yourself too. Onward!