Fly N Buy

Indeed.........
I will die an alcoholic as well, but my intent is be sober when I do. Hope you'll post some more - maybe others can be helpful with your struggles.

Kind Regards

Dayonesober

I am new here .Today I became a member.I like your comment about not digging after hitting rock bottom. I am one day sober and probably yesterday was my bottom,I hope. I started a journal. My second one. The first one was about 10 years ago but I thought I had it under control. I was wrong.

I am starting over with a promise to never drink again.I am writing my journal so I never forget why I quit. Your comment was in my journal before I read your post.

I hope others here can help me and I can help others.

I hope I have finally found my purpose.

thomas11

Stayalive, Your OP is pretty stark. 20 years ago I was hanging with some pretty extreme individuals and we did some pretty extreme things (IMO) but we were young. I also felt that I pushed the envelope pretty hard with alcohol a year ago, and believe it or not, medically I was in fairly good shape. Apparently other than high blood pressure and moderate withdrawal, I was fine according to my doc. So, with that said, you said you would die an alcoholic? I hope I don't get ripped for this but, do you realize that you have to work really really hard to die an active alcoholic. I guess my point is this, I wanted to die last year I felt so bad, and yet the docs told me "you got along way to go son before you die from alcohol". And in a weird way that shaped me up pretty fast. Im a hard worker, but that not that hard. I was done trying.

stayalive

I thank you all, for all your comments.

The thing is, i don't enjoy anything, without alcohol.

You lot, that have managed to stay off it -

growpath

I used to think that too. Honestly, I could not see myself ONE DAY without alcohol..... And I didn't think there was fun without it.

Then, when I got a taste of being off the poison I wanted more of LIFE... LIVING LIFE NOT JUST SURVIVING. Life is so much better on the other side. It's hard getting off of it BUT anything worth keeping is going to be a struggle. If you want it bad enough you CAN do it!! You are worth it. I know with drinking I felt like I would die any moment. Then, when you stop you start living and it feels so good not to FEAR death around every single corner. You CAN stop and stay stopped. This doesn't have to kill you.