3days to go

Old 03-18-2015, 07:15 AM
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3days to go

For the past two years I had convinced myself, this is it. I'm just going to be on pain killers for the long haul. I felt life and daily tasks were impossible to complete unless I had that high, that stimulating rush that made everything so exciting and there wasn't a care in the world. I felt like superwoman. That now I could do everything and be everything my husband and my daughter needed me to be. Then suddenly I was getting to the point where there just was not enough I could of ford to buy to get me high any longer. I had been wanting to tell my husband but he told me after my last relapse that he would leave me and take my daughter with him if I didn't stay clean. Those are powerful words. Should have kept me sober. But it didn't. I thought that if I could hide it from everyone then there would b no consequences. Come to find out a year later he actually knew the whole time. He said he was waiting to see if I would stop on my own. But I didn't. One day he called me into our room with a pill bottle in his hand and confronted me. At that point I was actually relieved in a way. No more lies, no more hiding, stop the guilt, the big hue weight I carry on my shoulders daily, no more. I broke down and confessed everything. I was glad it happened that way. I honestly don't know when I would have had the strength to tell him. Surprisingly he was very supportive. Since my doctor had me on a tapering down off the medication. Now, I'm 3 days clean. I feel like im learning life all over again. My biggest complaint is having no energy. But, that is not an option for me. I have my baby girl to take care of. So everyday I push myself to do what I gotta do. It's a daily fight within my own body and mind. I guess I just keep pushing and hoping I will find the joy and motivation to live my life sober. One day at a time is my new motto. Lots of positive self talk.
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Old 03-18-2015, 07:27 AM
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Good job! Keep pushing. You have so much to keep fighting for. Regarding your lack of energy, try altering your diet to eat more cleanly with more protein. I've never taken pills recreationally (hell, barely when I'm sick bc I'm a brat like that) so I don't really know exactly what your body is going through. But, addiction is addiction and it has physically effects regardless. Stay positive!
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Old 03-18-2015, 07:45 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Lost2bfound!!
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Old 03-18-2015, 07:51 AM
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That's the way to do it!
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Old 03-18-2015, 08:02 AM
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Congrats on 3 days L2! The energy will come. Nothing is as fast as our DOC in real life ('tis why we did it right?) but I and many others can attest that one day you will look back and wonder why you ever chose the low road.
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Old 03-18-2015, 09:57 AM
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Do your best
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Welcome lost2bfound
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Old 03-18-2015, 01:45 PM
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Welcome to SR losttobfound

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Old 03-23-2015, 08:40 AM
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I am in love with that quote! I want to dance in the rain so badly. �� one day at a time far I'm getting thru my days by the hour. Thank you for sharing
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Old 03-23-2015, 08:43 AM
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Lol yup that's me driving in my car with the windows down blasting one of my favorite yet embarassing songs
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