ANewDayNYC

My commitment has been wishy-washy lately. For the last week or so, I didn't really want to stop. Felt tempted to go out last night for St. Patricks Day and feel hungover. Also, feel depressed - not just because of the hangover but because I don't feel my life is going the way I want. Just feel lonely sometimes.

This morning I told myself - I've had enough. So atleast in this moment I want to stop so I feel I have some hope.

KeepTruckin

I guess try to seize the moment? I know all about wishy-washy commitment. I've been on and off quitting for about two years now and I hate even having to type that. This time I'm trying to do what I can to plan ahead so when my resolve weakens I've got something to fall back on. Maybe today is a good day to work on a plan?

Either way, you are here which is a great start and I always appreciate people being honest about their slip-ups. I tend to run away in shame and not share when I've backtracked, which usually leads to a whole lot MORE backtracking. So the fact that you are here and holding yourself accountable is incredibly impressive to me. I hope you feel better later today and even better tomorrow.

Soberwolf

Well if drinking does this to you & you know that then accept it NYC youl save yourself a lot of heartache and hangovers

it doesnt get better if you continue to drink it gets worse

FallenAngel29

I'm right there with you. As of now, I'm on day 2 of "tapering". I've heard many people say it worked for them but you have to have determination of steel. I was invited out last night by my mother-in-law but chose not to because I knew I wouldn't stick to my schedule. Yesterday I felt a little down as I was creeping up on the time I normally start to drink. These things will pass. I have to remind myself of this every day. Just keep remembering all the reasons that you decided you want to quit. Even the small, seemingly insignificant, reasons. "Stupid" (by comparison) reasons for me are how much money I'll save, how much weight I'll lose, how much better my skin and hair will look, all the energy I'll have. Obviously major reasons are my health, my husband and my kids. Keep coming back every day and best of luck to you.

courage2

You won't stay stopped until your desire or need to stop exceeds your desire or need to drink, all the time. I still have days when I want to drink but I always, always want not to drink/be drunk/have been drunk more. So far. For which I'm grateful.

And I know that the number 1 way for me to stop wanting to be stopped is to pick up the first drink. Your words "I didn't really want to stop" suggest you had started by the time you had that thought. Of course, then. As an alcoholic, if I have a taste, a bucket seems like the right idea.

Kafkaesque

I agree with KeepTruckin. It's important to be honest about slip ups because otherwise they stop feeling like slip ups and you lose all resolve to even stop in the first place.

It's hard to stop when you're feeling depressed since it seems to numb the pain and I personally would rather feeling nothing than feel depressed. But try to remember that alcohol is a depressant and will increase that feeling. Have you talked with a doctor about your depression at all? That might be a good place to start. I know it's hard to make a change that requires so much hard work when you are feeling like this.

I hope you feel better soon ANewDayNYC! Just know you aren't alone, we are all here for you and we all believe in you

ccam1973

Anewday, good for you on keep coming back here.

You have to decide for yourself and commit to your decision. You have to "want to be sober" more than you "want to drink". Until you make that very personal decision you are just setting yourself up for failure.

You have the tools to succeed when you want to commit, and we will always be here to help in your journey. You can do this!

I can only speak for me, but sobriety opened up life for me again after 20+ years of living in a deceptive, manipulative fog. I made the decision to be sober for me, and everyone around me is benefiting from my actions.

For the past 20+ years I was making the decision to be drunk all of the time and everyone around me was subjected to a moody, bi-polar, self-centered addict.

Once you make the decision and commit to sobriety, everything will fall into place. It will never be easy, but life is so much better with sober clarity.

You can do this, we are here for you!

ANewDayNYC

I want to be sober. I feel that genuinely right now and will fight for it. I know in a month or so things will get hard again because I won't have the pain of a recent hangover. I appreciate the encouragement everyone.

Soberjoy1

I feel your pain. I have felt exactly the same lately. But I know I can't, so I have to be vigilant and make it my priority every day. We can do this!

doggonecarl

Then commit to a plan to see you through the upcoming rough period. Wanting to be sober is one thing, a goal. But a goal without a plan is just something you hold in your head as a destination, but no way to get there.

Kafkaesque

This. The thing that has helped me lately is having a defined list of distractions to do anytime I feel like drinking, even if I'm not actually on the verge of drinking yet. If you know how to deal with the "I kind of want to drink" feelings, then you won't need the reminder of a hangover to keep you sober. Congratulations on your decision to get sober

Dee74

Lives simply don't change overnight tho.

I had to get sober, stay sober, and do some work on myself and my life before things started to change.

It's a process and you need to commit to a certain amount of time before you'll feel life is going your way.

It's a faith thing - that recovery will, eventually but inevitably, bring those rewards

D