KeepTruckin

I got to work early just so I could pop on here real quick and post. Had a little freak out this morning with my husband. I brought up the idea that I don't know if I want to go on a camping trip we have planned with our friends in May. I'm worried that the best case scenario is that I will have a lousy time while I deal with them drinking. My husband said he would not drink if that helps, but it's just the whole situation. I'm worried about compromising myself, not necessarily THAT night, but for the future, too. When I've quit before I've gone out with friends and not drank and had an OK time. I feel like those things have added up though to leading me back to drinking, to normalizing it around me before I'm ready. And considering my longest abstinence has been 2 months, I think that is fair to think.

Anyway, I told him I wouldn't make a decision just yet, that we could talk about it more. He wants me to talk to my friends, specifically the ones going on the trip, about me not drinking. I just don't think I'm ready for that, though. I might not be giving them the credit they deserve, but I also don't know that they've had friends that needed to quit drinking. Not close friends anyway. I do have friends that have gone through drinking and drug problems and are sober now that I might like to talk to soon, but that's a different group altogether. Ugh, I'm rambling. I really need to push these thoughts off until the weekend when I'm not stressed from work and not only 3 days since last weekend's regrets.

On the plus side, although I had a little breakdown during this conversation this morning, I think I pulled myself out of it. When I started crying (something I only seem to do when I'm drunk or when I'm worried about drinking issues) I crawled back in bed and my husband was very nice, suggesting I'd feel better if I got up. I wanted to just lay there until I had to get up for work, skip breakfast, not pack a lunch, just lay and cry because I was so upset and didn't know what to do.

Instead, I got up, waved goodbye to him as he went to work (a morning ritual that I'd hate to skip because I was depressed in bed over these issues), took a shower, ate breakfast and packed a lunch, because nothing good ever happens when I'm hungry. I'm going to work, grocery shop and clean up my house when I get home, and try to not worry about this whole thing today because it isn't important today. Today, what's important is taking care of myself and my life.

biminiblue

This isn't a huge deal, but in early sobriety everything seems like a huge deal.

If you think you won't be able to abstain, don't go. There will be more camping trips.

You don't have to discuss your abstinence with anyone now or in the future. You can if you want to, but it isn't necessary to success with sobriety.

The problem is that you are obsessing about it - and a lot of that is going to quiet down with continued sobriety.

I think you will feel much better if you just make a decision to go or not go.

Take a breath.

Soberwolf

Really positive post keeptrucking i understand you not wanting to talk about it with friends yet or wanting to go its too soon i think

Keep talking with hubby it sounds like hes very caring & supportive im sure together youl figure this out

Congrats on day 3

~Lia~

You don't have to tell anyone your decision to quit drinking. In my early days, I would come up with reasons that I wasn't drinking. I was on antibiotics, I was on steroids for poison ivy, I was DD. I had fears of being labeled and didn't want people to walk on egg shells around me.

Do this at your pace, one day at a time. The days will turn into weeks, and into months and soon you will feel really good about the new you.

Your husband sounds really supportive. Good for you for getting up and going about your day!! Stay strong it only gets better, I promise

KeepTruckin

Thank you all! I know, I need more deep breaths sometimes. I get really overwhelmed with things sometimes. There is also a lot of stress going on in my life that has nothing to do with drinking, so I'm just a little on edge in general. And my husband is very supportive, although he has been before and I know I have to keep up my resolve to keep him understanding that I really want to commit to my sober life, or he will just think it is me being upset from a hangover again. That's not unfair of him as it's not the first time I've quit. But maybe it can be the first time I quit for good.

And, yes, I know I need to do this one day at a time. I'm bad at that also but I'm going to try to be better. Maybe I will come up with a date when I make a decision by. If I do end up going, I will probably tell my friends something similar to what you said, Lia, antibiotics or another excuse not to drink. It will just be easier.

Thank you again! I'm going to try to calm myself down enough to focus on work for the rest of the day and pop back here when I get home. I appreciate all the support and advice.

PurpleKnight

Yeap keep it simple, and don't get hungry!!

Great job on Day 3!! Keep it going!!

Soberwolf

Here for you anytime KT your doing well

BernieE

In only a couple weeks you will feel much stronger and more stable. Try not to be thinking too far ahead, keep your focus on now. You can make your decision about the camping trip in April. Three days in, we all get overwhelmed about life in general. Stay strong, stay sober, and remember the words of Scarlett Ohara: I'll think about that tomorrow. After all tomorrow is another day.