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-   -   when will I begin to trust myself..? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/362408-when-will-i-begin-trust-myself.html)

angel70 03-18-2015 06:43 AM

when will I begin to trust myself..?
 
Well..its day 24. I never thought I'd get this far and am now starting to wonder HOW did I get this far? All my friends and family have so much faith in me and whilst I am so grateful, sometimes it feels like an added pressure. I know that sounds selfish..I don't mean it to. The thing is I know there are a million reasons for me not to drink, but the bottom line is I have no faith in myself. I absolutely do not trust myself. Right now I believe the only thing stopping me from drinking is the fact that my husband does not leave any money in the house, so I couldn't drink if I wanted to.I am absolutely terrified he might accidentally leave his wallet lying around and I won't be strong enough to resist..and I'm not willing to test that theory out just yet...

FeelingGreat 03-18-2015 06:54 AM

Hi Angel, you're doing really well, so give yourself a pat on the back. I certainly wasn't secure by your stage; most of us aren't. After preparation, why not arrange for your husband to leave some money around? You can resist, and your confidence will grow.

Do you have a plan to keep yourself on track? Activities, support group, relaxation exercises? It sounds like you might be concentrating on the negative of NOT drinking, rather than building a positive about being sober, clear headed and proud of yourself. Sobriety rocks; you can relax, stop worrying and have your family happy.

Soberwolf 03-18-2015 06:58 AM

It will get easier i agree with having a plan to help

Congrats on day 24

silentrun 03-18-2015 07:08 AM

I was terrified to fail for probably around 6 months. It gets better if you have a plan in place so if you feel you are starting to get in over your head. My plan is to come here first sign of danger and talk it out. That fear actually helped me get my first 6 months in.

angel70 03-18-2015 07:41 AM

Yeah, this was the first place I thought of! Always loads of support and sound advice..thanks guys

doggonecarl 03-18-2015 08:28 AM


Originally Posted by angel70 (Post 5267029)
Well..its day 24. I never thought I'd get this far and am now starting to wonder HOW did I get this far?

Have faith in yourself. Twenty four days is proof you can get sober, can get to day 25. Fear drinking, but don't fear your ability to stay on the sober path. Thinking you will fail is too often a self-fulfilling prophecy. Don't let it be.

Dee74 03-18-2015 01:37 PM

I had very little faith in myself when I started either, but it grew.

Faith or not, I knew if I stuck to the plan - if I did not drink and I worked hard at building that sober life - I'd get better.

Each day I re-committed to not drinking that day.
That task became as little easier the further I went, and gradually I started to believe in myself again :)

D

angel70 03-18-2015 02:01 PM

Once again thank you! I read on here somewhere about 'playing the tape through to the end'..and that is exactly what I have been doing..and will keep doing. Also had my daughter and grandson over for dinner and seeing his smiling little face is worth more than all the wine in the world..he keeps me focussed, happy and determined to stay sober..bring on day 25!!


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