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Old 03-17-2015, 02:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Dying Slowly


Vicious cycles. Broken promises to myself. Where does it end? The horror. I hate myself more every day.
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Old 03-17-2015, 02:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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It ends with a Day 1 of Sobriety!! Welcome to the Forum!!
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Old 03-17-2015, 02:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR!

It ends when you decide to make a stand. It is far from easy, but a lot easier than waking up every morning feeling like death.
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Old 03-17-2015, 02:51 PM   #4 (permalink)
If you think you're too small to make a difference you haven't spent a night with a mosquito
 
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Welcome tripstotheedge youl find support advice & guidance here bud
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Old 03-17-2015, 02:54 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I feel you there, trips. Can't really count how many times I've laid in bed, too hungover to do anything except Google things about alcohol and depression. I'm tired of hating myself over things I did when I was not acting like myself. This could be the last time to go through it, if we are strong... hope you feel better and keep coming back.
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Old 03-17-2015, 02:59 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi Trips, I see you joined this site in 2013 so I get a feeling this has been going on for awhile correct? From what I've read on this site it ends one of two ways: 1. Slowly dying as your post indicates or 2. Achieving sobriety. I'd give number 2 a shot. I wish you the very best.
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Old 03-17-2015, 03:01 PM   #7 (permalink)
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This is what the disease does to us. It robs us of everything, causes self-loathing and it will take us out if we let it. You need to step up and stop the cycle. Take a leap of faith and know that you can do this.
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

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Old 03-17-2015, 03:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
learning to live
 
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It end when you decide you have had enough.

You can end the madness any time.... and then you NEVER have to feel this way again.

It ends when you want sobriety more than you want to drink.

Welcome to SR
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"when we numb the dark, we also numb the light"

"if it is not bringing you growth, remove it"

"success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines practiced every day. Keep putting your best foot forward with a positive attitude & it all comes back full circle"
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Old 03-17-2015, 05:35 PM   #9 (permalink)
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welcome tripstotheedge - glad to have you with us

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Old 03-17-2015, 05:39 PM   #10 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
 
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You don't have to feel this badly. Put down the bottle and start living a sober life. It takes effort but is worth it.
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Old 03-17-2015, 05:42 PM   #11 (permalink)
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It can end right now
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What if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about?
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Old 03-19-2015, 08:07 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I don't know what to say to all of you but thank you. I never thought anyone could care about me or my plight but here you are all strangers that have extended kind words and advice. Just can't see why I should trade one obsession for another. Doesn't seem healthy either way. But I guess with one you don't die or go to jail.
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Old 03-20-2015, 12:57 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I'm on day two. It's HARD but better than dealing with the BS...
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"I thought about quitting, turning back...But I knew I couldn’t. This was my time and I knew something greater than myself would get me through it." Shelley Guillory
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Old 03-20-2015, 01:04 AM   #14 (permalink)
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The first step really is the hardest. I speak as a habitual daily drinker. I'm only at day six but already life feels better! It really doesn't take long once you find the determination to get that first day over! And the more I think about it the more I realise that it is not objectively difficult to do that first day and it is only the addiction that makes you believe it is almost an impossible task.
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Old 03-20-2015, 04:32 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Hi.
I and many have been there, however it can easily stop with a couple things I find necessary.
I became sick and tired of being sick and tired of the same old every morning. Having attended meetings there were several things needed within us to start a sober life. First I needed to surrender to the fact I had to get honest with myself at all times about my drinking not just the moments I was in pain. Next I needed to ACCEPT the fact I could no longer drink ANY alcohol in safety. Period.

It certainly helped going to a lot of meetingS and being among people who understood along with seeing how sober people acted and reacted in daily life situations.

After a lot of sober years being active in the program, work and changes are needed for a peaceful recovery mentally and emotionally.

BE WELL
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AA IS NOT A SENTENCE, IT’S A REPRIEVE.

ALCOHOL-ISM= INCREDIBLE SHORT MEMORY.

I CAME FOR MY DRINKING AND STAYED FOR MY THINKING.

WE ARE NOT FAILING AS LONG AS WE KEEP TRYING.

WHAT I USED TO CALL BOREDOM I NOW CALL SERENITY.
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Old 03-20-2015, 04:37 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Only YOU can stop the madness. Have you tried all the tools suggested here? Have you looked into AVRT, AA or any of the other methods?

It will not just fall on your lap but you can make it happen!!!

You never have to feel so low again!

We will be here for you along the way.
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Old 03-20-2015, 04:52 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Glad you are here! It is hard, but you can do it. Keep reading and posting!
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Old 03-20-2015, 04:59 AM   #18 (permalink)
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It can end right now but only you can end it. No magic pills. Just hard work and determination to end it. The good thing is that you are not alone here and there is lots of support and motivation on this forum and many other places to help you. Is today day 1?
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Old 03-20-2015, 05:15 AM   #19 (permalink)
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You don't have to feel crappy all the time. I felt hopeless for years. Do whatever have to do to get some sober time. Keep your head up Trips.
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